The hopefully not obnoxious wood fired brick oven build thread

[paulthenurse]

Not to mention, I have a wicked pissah pizza oven and you don't. Losers.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Is it done yet?

 

[bluemoose]

It'll be done before you can say "burnt pizza"

 

[Paps]

i'm rich AND stupid .

Multitasking.

 

[paulthenurse]

Drinking and roofing.

 

[the_bird]

It pains me to say, after having sampled Paulie's pizza this weekend, it pains me to say that I believe he has developed something revolutionary. BEYOND revolutionary! Something that changes our fundamental understanding of not just pizza, not just our WORLD, but of the very BASIC UNDERPINNINGS of our universe.

Paulie has created a quantum pizzeria. Pizza that is concurrently in two *opposite* states of being; completely BURNED, while also RAW!

I've told my friends at MIT; they'll be over presently.

 

[Melana]

Paul has mad skills... too bad he doesn't focus on indoor plumbing.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Paul didn't invent that, he just modified the technique used on fried ice cream and made it work on pizza.

 

[Melana]

OMG. That's IT! Ice Cream Pizza.

Brilliant.

 

[paulthenurse]

You can all GFY

 

[Melana]

Now hang on a minute Paul. Deep freeze a softball size scoop of ice cream, cover in chocolate, wrap in puff pastry. Freeze again then cook in said pizza oven. Brilliant hot pastry on the outside... cold yummy ice cream on the inside.
Come on now... this could work!

 

[paulthenurse]

With a cactus.

 

[Melana]

Shouldn't you be preparing for your test?

 

[paulthenurse]

I'll be the first to admit it, the dough sucked. Too dry, I must have misread the scale when I weighed out either the water or the four. It was way too tight with too much gluten so it wouldn't relax and spread out, leaving a thick hunk of dough that was tasty but too thick so it burned on the bottom/edges before the middle was cooked.

You guys are my guinea pigs so I can experiment. Ask your pal at MIT what they do with the guinea pigs when the experiments are over, then shut yer pie hole.

 

[paulthenurse]

A BIG cactus.

 

[the_bird]

I'll be the first to admit it, the dough sucked. Too dry, I must have misread the scale when I weighed out either the water or the four. It was way too tight with too much gluten so it wouldn't relax and spread out, leaving a thick hunk of dough that was tasty but too thick so it burned on the bottom/edges before the middle was cooked.

You guys are my guinea pigs so I can experiment. Ask your pal at MIT what they do with the guinea pigs when the experiments are over, then shut yer pie hole.

Maybe the dough had too much gluten because your buddy was beating it like Dakota when he found his dad's porn stash.

 

[Melana]

Even with a scale you have to compensate for the humidity in the air... and it was very humid.

 

[Melana]

Perhaps throwing it on the ground wasn't the best way to get the gluten to relax?

 

[the_bird]

I'm also going to (seriously) hypothesize that you should have started the fire in the oven a lot earlier. If you've got more heat that's coming from the bricks, and less that's coming directly from the fire, you may stand a chance at having your pizza actually cooked properly.

 

[Melana]

Also... don't shove that ****** all the way into the fire - keep it a bit further away for even cooking.

 

[paulthenurse]

I'm so f'ing lucky to be friends with experts on every f'ing subject under the sun.

 

[Melana]

You are damn lucky.

 

[the_bird]

You should probably ask our advice before you get ****-deep in ****ing up whatever your next project is.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

I'll be the first to admit it, the dough sucked. Too dry, I must have misread the scale when I weighed out either the water or the four. It was way too tight with too much gluten so it wouldn't relax and spread out, leaving a thick hunk of dough that was tasty but too thick so it burned on the bottom/edges before the middle was cooked.

You guys are my guinea pigs so I can experiment. Ask your pal at MIT what they do with the guinea pigs when the experiments are over, then shut yer pie hole.

How do you usually read scales when measuring your four?

Perhaps it is simply an addition problem since no-one eight anything.

 

[the_bird]

 

[paulthenurse]

Dear Abby,

I have a bunch of friends who are experts at everything. It's getting kind of annoying. For instance, I worked in a pizza joint for years back in my salad days but these chowdaheads insist on putting their two cents in after I make a batch of dough that was admittedly suboptimal. They also make cutting, unkind remarks about my admittedly non-angular body habitus. (For instance, I expect a solid 6-8 nasty comments describing how my 'salad days' are so very far behind me)

Any suggestions on where I could get nice friends?

 

[Melana]

Paul if it makes you feel better your pizza skillz were lacking but your brisket skillz were dead on.

Even though Drunken would have done it better.

 

[Melana]

Dear Abby,

I have a bunch of friends who are experts at everything. It's getting kind of annoying. For instance, I worked in a pizza joint for years back in my salad days but these chowdaheads insist on putting their two cents in after I make a batch of dough that was admittedly suboptimal. They also make cutting, unkind remarks about my admittedly non-angular body habitus. (For instance, I expect a solid 6-8 nasty comments describing how my 'salad days' are so very far behind me)

Any suggestions on where I could get nice friends?

Salad days? Do you even know what salad is?

 

[the_bird]

Potato salad doesn't count.

 

[paulthenurse]

Even though Drunken would have done it better.

And he'd be the first to tell you so.