The hopefully not obnoxious wood fired brick oven build thread

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paulthenurse said:
Any further questions regarding DIY projects like pizza oven building and dough making should be directed towards the internationally recognized authorities in those fields, AZ and Cape. You know, the Internet experts who haven't actually done jack **** but talk out of their azz at any available opportunity.
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Why waste thousands of dollars to not finish a pizza oven when you can't make a decent dough?

P.S. 66-68% hydration, not cooked in an unfinished pizza shack makes a great 'za

20151011_190550-1.jpg
 
Get those grass clippings off of there and you'd have a nice looking pizza!

I'm telling you, Paulie, I don't think you're letting your oven heat up enough. See how AZ's crust is all uniformly browned all around? Any how your crusts are burned to a crisp just on the side that's next to the fire?
 
the_bird said:
Get those grass clippings off of there and you'd have a nice looking pizza!

I'm telling you, Paulie, I don't think you're letting your oven heat up enough. See how AZ's crust is all uniformly browned all around? Any how your crusts are burned to a crisp just on the side that's next to the fire?
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Maybe Paul doesn't know he needs to rotate the pizza frequently while cooking it in the pizza oven?

"Alice!!! It's another pizza that's half burnt and half raw!!! That's the 327th in a row that turned out out like that!!"
 
paulthenurse said:
Baking is science and chemistry. Baking formulas for the dough use percentages with the flower being 100%. so if for example you had 100 g of flour a 50% hydration would be 50 g of water a 60% hydration would obviously be 60 g of water. For today's Joe I used a 62% hydration hoping to still have plenty of gluten for structure but with the increased water on have more of a stretch and I could get a thinner crust. M
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Can you describe your process of burning the flour before you mix the dough?
 
paulthenurse said:
The coffee stain will match well with the drool and urine stains on your wardrobe.
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Now, now, you're turning mean. The hot paulthenurse I know and love is bit of a jackass, but never mean. You must have had a long hard day with all those white coated people (and I don't mean the ones that come to your room each morning). Health care will ruin a healthy person.

Come out and join the ******* friends you have. You love us. You know you do! You especially love my tummy rubs. I could see it in your eyes.

Well, I could see in your eyes, "Her boobs are big, but not bit enough to reach over my stomach and rub my nipples". But I consider it a tummy rub, and so it's all good.
 
I was going to keep that quiet. I mean, you'd have to be a ****** of the highest magnitude to brag that you had been in a full frontal body rub with a friend and it so excited you that not only are you still daydreaming about it but you're going to tell everyone about it.


Hey, wait a minute.... You... Just now... You...

I feel so dirty and used.
 
I just came here to point out the absurdity of the statement, "Baking is science and chemistry."
 
shortyz said:
pizza stones suck dick.
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As does AZ and Cape. Hey, it's 2015. Dawn of a new age. They should come out and get married. I'm a modern age guy. I honestly don't care who's playin' "hide the pork role" in whom. I'll even cater the reception. However, I can assure you, the pizza would be burned and the pork would be deep fried. In their honor.
 
i like this topic, glad i found it. lol. perhaps we can call you pretentiouspaul.
 

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