The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Melana]

Says the man that shleps out gritty pizza.

 

[paulthenurse]

Forty years later and that’s still one of the funniest skits ever on SNL

 

[paulthenurse]

Says the man that shleps out gritty pizza.

My pizza brings the boys and girls to the back yard.

 

[Dave Sarber]

As far as the B&M bread, I'm looking at a can with a date of Feb 26 2032. Seems like a long time from now. The one can I sampled seemed pretty dry, I'm pretty sure I can do better. Haven't found any rye flour locally yet though.

 

[Dave Sarber]

My pizza brings the boys and girls to the back yard.

You have to keep them out in the yard to keep the aroma diversified.

 

[paulthenurse]

You need to cut both ends of the can off then put it uptight with the bread still in it on a cookie rack sitting on top of the pot you’re cooking the dogs in. Steam for 20 minutes then throw the dogs in the pot. Push the bread out, a pay of butter on each slice (oleo in my childhood, only rich people bought butter) and you’re good to go

 

[Dave Sarber]

We never did that when I was a kid. Just pushed it out of the can, sliced, and buttered (or margarine, probably). Seems like the bread was always moist and kinda sticky.
Pretty good with a slice of braunschweiger too.

 

[balrog]

And yet another in the long line of reasons I drop in to see what only in the mind of Minolta moments I may have missed.

 

[Dave Sarber]

And yet another in the long line of reasons I drop in to see what only in the mind of Minolta moments I may have missed.

You're a jealous beeatch.

 

[paulthenurse]

You’ve got to steam it. It’s bread that’s been in a can for 6-8 years and could happily stay there for another decade or so. Steam it, butter it, put a dog on it the a big spoon of the beans. Top with Gouldens mustard and you’re in heaven.

 

[balrog]

The pizza sounds intriguing, definitely.

 

[paulthenurse]

It shouldn't be as good as it is. Kinda like me.

In fact...….

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

This is pizza... Add pepperon, meatballs or a couple veggies if you must, but B&M beans no way.

 

[day_trippr]

Mom always did the push out of the can thing, then wrapped the cylinder of brown bread in foil and baked it for 25-30 minutes.
The fun part was watching her try to unwrap it, but the tasty part was getting my slice soaked in butter. Yumm!

As for Paul's "pizza" revelation...no.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Even in Brooklyn some idiots want weird shiz on the divine foldable slice in the last few years and they should just be told to go the effin Pizza Hut In New Jersey.

 

[paulthenurse]

I’m comfortable knowing I’ve found Jeezuz and you are all a bunch of areshole Philistines embracing your ignorance.

I used a fair amount of syllables right there. Did I sound smaht?

 

[Dave Sarber]

Well, I ate a bowl of beans for lunch, but I'm saving the (beanless) pizza for dinner.
In a nod to tofu boy, I'll put onions and jalapenos on it. But then I'll bury the veggies in sausage, pepperoni, and cheese.

 

[paulthenurse]

Social distancing. Old skool.

 

[day_trippr]

hahahaha!

 

[day_trippr]

lmao! Youngest son sent me this pic. Might have to try it myself...

 

[Rodent]

lmao! Youngest son sent me this pic. Might have to try it myself...

View attachment 683091

WANT!!!
I need one of these (empty) for the office here in Seattle!

 

[balrog]

I want one of the empties also. But I'll do you a supah favah and empty it myself.

 

[Brewbuzzard]

We never did that when I was a kid. Just pushed it out of the can, sliced, and buttered (or margarine, probably). Seems like the bread was always moist and kinda sticky.
Pretty good with a slice of braunschweiger too.

I love braunschweiger on cheap white bread with mayo ( miracle whip back then). I'm a kid again.

 

[paulthenurse]

Wandered over to the grocery store during a lull at lunchtime. Got industrial packaged braunschweiger, a baguette, Digon mustard and cornichons. (And a bag of Fritos because I’m a card carrying member of the great unwashed flotsam that is America) A solid B+ lunch. I’ll have the other half tomorrow and be happy.
It wasn’t foie gras in a cafe in the French countryside but it was a damn sight better than a Dave’s single with cheese.

Let’s say it’s about equal to a Number 9. Really effing good but nothing I’m willing to chop off my John Thomas over.

Now, if I’d had the foresight to grab an onion and carved off a honkin’ slice Mrs Nurse might be singing songs tonight

(I’d prefer to nit speculate on the types of songs she’d be singing.)

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Hmm, there was a place in a nearby mall called Zum zum (long defunct now) they had two barrel heads with taps on the wall for Hell and Dunkel and they served wursts. A grilled liverwurst sandwich with grilled onions was pdg, though when they were in business I was too young to have a beer with it. But every once in a while I’ll prepare a sammy Like it on a pretzel bun. I think I put on a pound just thinking about it. Dammit Paul! I hope you and Mrs Nurse are happy now.

 

[Dave Sarber]

Wandered over to the grocery store during a lull at lunchtime. Got industrial packaged braunschweiger, a baguette, Digon mustard and cornichons. (And a bag of Fritos because I’m a card carrying member of the great unwashed flotsam that is America) A solid B+ lunch. I’ll have the other half tomorrow and be happy.
It wasn’t foie gras in a cafe in the French countryside but it was a damn sight better than a Dave’s single with cheese.

Let’s say it’s about equal to a Number 9. Really effing good but nothing I’m willing to chop off my John Thomas over.

Now, if I’d had the foresight to grab an onion and carved off a honkin’ slice Mrs Nurse might be singing songs tonight

(I’d prefer to nit speculate on the types of songs she’d be singing.)

Try all the above on dark rye.

 

[day_trippr]

Made a couple of calls which led to a Wachusetts distributor who said Major Mass Soul in the can is a limited release only available at the brewery right now. I might give the brewery a call to see what's up and if they're holding I could see taking a run over in the afternoon if the weather tomorrow is decent.

Curb-side pickup only so there's not much attraction otherwise. Too bad, I've been hankering to check out their new 50 barrel automated system but that's not happening anytime soon...

 

[paulthenurse]

Massholes. They’re everywhere.

Not bad.

 

[day_trippr]

Yes, they're every frickin' trendy where.
Good thing that's in a 12er. I don't think I could handle 16 ounces of a 4% lager...

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

LOL, everyone needs to hydrate.