The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[paulthenurse]

Very nice tracts of land.

[ame]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g3YiPC91QUk[/ame].

Can she sing?

 

[Master]

No. She sounds like Fran Drescher.

 

[paulthenurse]

Ouch. Well you can use those ginourmous tracts of land as earmuffs if she start up with too much Yankee chstter. I can see doing that.

 

[paulthenurse]

So enough talk about Master's Mistress's acreage. (OK We all know I don't mean that but in the interest of decency...

Golf is a seriously egalitarian sport. It don't care who you are, what you do, how large your Mrs's tracts of land are (Oooppps Sorry.) or how good you were the last time you ruined a nice walk by bringing along a set of sticks. It will bring somebody down, every round.

I hit a 91 today, first round out of the year. I was headed for my usual 105-110 round when my nephew started talking smack. "Oh really? You're the number one ace on the Howell NJ bowling team? I bet the chicks are throwing their underwear at you when you toe the line. You want to go $1.00 a stroke? Realllly? You sure? I mean, I have a real job and you work stacking inner tubes up at a water park. Realllly? Tee it up, ******."

Old age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill. "You're going to use an 8 iron? Holy Mary Mother of God! An 8 iron on a 130 yard par three? Wassa matter, you getting cold from being in my shade all day?"

I just hope the little bastid doesn't tell Aunt Alice that I took 20 bucks off him.

 

[the_bird]

A dollar per stroke? Reminds me of that time you pimped out your daughter.

 

[paulthenurse]

I wasn't pimping her, I was trying to get her married off. (Although I guess in either instance I'd come out ahead economically.)

 

[Melana]

You make a terrible pimp.

 

[paulthenurse]

Good

But I'm a world class Dad.

I just want to make her some other guys worry.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Wow, I haven't been on this site since I bought my house, and this thread isn't dead yet?

 

[paulthenurse]

What really boggles the mind is that you're not dead yet.

Just sayin'

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Jonny Gomes is brutal to listen to. Price isn't doing anything and getting paid a lot. Maybe he should fill in a couple of games. Make it exciting and take call ins.

 

[day_trippr]

Yeah, Gomes tends to the soporific effect. Last night's game was no different.
The only times I've heard Price he was whining.
I don't think I could take nine innings of that...

 

[paulthenurse]

Soporific. Good word. I only use it to describe certain classes of drugs and/or listening to Cape talk.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

What really boggles the mind is that you're not dead yet.

Just sayin'

Life is good, I'm not ready to die yet.

Just sayin'

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

did you see the guy who grabbed the girls tit at the ballgame?


http://rare.us/rare-news/caught-on-...a-catches-his-hands-making-it-to-second-base/

 

[Melana]

did you see the guy who grabbed the girls tit at the ballgame?


http://rare.us/rare-news/caught-on-...a-catches-his-hands-making-it-to-second-base/

How is that newsworthy?

 

[paulthenurse]

Please don't feed the animals.

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

this animal is hungry, been a while

 

[day_trippr]

Wind picked up around here a bit

PSA: If you're watching the 3rd string and soon to be ex-Patriots you're watching the wrong sport tonight...

Cheers!

 

[paulthenurse]

You have to give it to Sabathia. He don't have what he used to but he can still pitch his rotund azz off.

 

[day_trippr]

Man, 4 runs down but bases loaded with two outs in the ninth, and Moreland's up.
I really thought he was gonna go yard.
Oh well, it's a rare time the Sox hit the Bronx with a 5+ game lead.
They got some cushion for nights like this one...

 

[paulthenurse]

It's with a sad and heavy heart that I report Dorrherty's East Avenue Café in Pawtuckett has shut it's doors. Could I have a moment of silence please?

It was always nice when we could gather a bunch of EACs at the EAC to drink great beer. Where else can you routinely get Petrus on tap?

 

[Cape Brewing]

It's with a sad and heavy heart that I report Dorrherty's East Avenue Café in Pawtuckett has shut it's doors. Could I have a moment of silence please?

It was always nice when we could gather a bunch of EACs at the EAC to drink great beer. Where else can you routinely get Petrus on tap?

Yeah, that sucks. I heard about that a few weeks ago. Solid place and it's a bummer to see one of the original and true craft beer bars shut down. Version I heard was, basically, that the owner was just kind of done with the place and let it nosedive into the abyss.

 

[Melana]

That is very sad news. When we lived in the 'boro we used to frequent Dorrhetys often.

 

[paulthenurse]

If it was anyplace other than Pawtucket it could have been a gold mine. It's tough to sell Rolexes in a Timex neighborhood.

 

[paulthenurse]

Stealing signs is part of the game and is NOT against the rules. Teams policed it themselves. I caught a kid stealing my signs to my pitcher 40 years ago. And I sent the pitcher a sign to plunk him. Which he did. And I stole sighs whenever I was on second base 40 years ago. And if I had an Apple device to steal signs I would have used it, as would the other guys.

Gotta be a total ****** to whine about it. Of course we ARE talking about the Yankees.

 

[paulthenurse]

Wait a second. Does this mean Farrell gets a four gams suspension?

Baseball is a much longer season. Make the punishment proportional. Four weeks. Please.

 

[paulthenurse]

JBJ!!! What a throw

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

That was a bead.

 

[paulthenurse]

Rope