The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Yooper]

You're talking about your pandas lining up? Is that UP slang for something?

Hey, Mort brought up the garanimals, I was just agreeing with him.

 

[Melana]

Just wondering if there was a double meaning in there....

 

[Auger]

I had a friend from North Dakota in college, the worst curse I ever heard come out of her mouth was "oh, buckets!" So weird.

 

[the_bird]

I want to think about putting my dock in the lake, if it ever thaws.

"Has your lake thawed? I'd love to put my dock in it." There's no way this hasn't been used as a pickup line HUNDREDS of times in U.P. bars.

 

[Yooper]

Just wondering if there was a double meaning in there....

No. I'm not smart enough to be clever enough to come up with double meanings. I barely can explain what I mean to begin with!

"Had your lake thawed? I'd love to put my dock in it." There's no way this hasn't been used as a pickup line HUNDREDS of times in U.P. bars.

You haven't heard the best of our wonderful Yooper language. Most commonly, a Yooper would say that they are "Waiting for their lake to unthaw". Seriously- unthaw. They "unthaw out steaks", for example. The lake, when the ice melts, "unthaws".

I'm like, HELLOOOOOO!!!! "Unthaw" would mean to freeze, while thaw means to, well, thaw. Der.

So, to use that pickup line, you'd have to change it to:

"Had your lake unthawed dere? I'd love to put my dock in it cuple two tree times doncha know".

Now THAT's a Yooper pickup line if I've never heard one.

 

[deere322]

ahh, cripes..

 

[Melana]

No. I'm not smart enough to be clever enough to come up with double meanings. I barely can explain what I mean to begin with!



You haven't heard the best of our wonderful Yooper language. Most commonly, a Yooper would say that they are "Waiting for their lake to unthaw". Seriously- unthaw. They "unthaw out steaks", for example. The lake, when the ice melts, "unthaws".

I'm like, HELLOOOOOO!!!! "Unthaw" would mean to freeze, while thaw means to, well, thaw. Der.

So, to use that pickup line, you'd have to change it to:

"Had your lake unthawed dere? I'd love to put my dock in it cuple two tree times doncha know".

Now THAT's a Yooper pickup line if I've never heard one.

I laughed and laughed.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Ahhhhhh.

Nothing beats a good 5:45AM vorlaufing.

 

[bluemoose]

That's what happens when you drink too much the night before.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Got meat?

http://eartheaglebrewings.com/bog-mare/

I'm going to put my own spin on it and do it with Apache Trout. I know what I'm brewing at the next Masstoberfest. Forget the Stein beer. I'm going with Moosehead.

 

[nhwrecker]

That Moose head meat beer looked and sounds disgusting......

but I swear I think I tasted it over the weekend.

sub-titled = WHY DO BREWERIES SERVE BAD BEER?

A brand new brewery, Millyard Brewing, opened on Saturday in Nashua, NH. They had hundreds of people, and I was really looking forward to trying their beers and wishing them best of luck in the new endeavor.
At least, I was until I tried their beers. They had 3 on tap, a Pale, Ale, IPA, and Strong Ale. All 3 were served in 4 OZ clear plastic cups. All 3 looked almost identical in color and clarity.

First Sip, the Pale Ale didn't taste quite right, and by the 2nd and 3rd, my wife also confirmed that it tasted like crap - no distinct major off-flavors, but definitely something funky and bad was going on. MOved on to the IPA, and this one was undrinkable. Couldn't even take a second sip, and going back to the PA, that started tasting worse too. The Strong Ale was worse than the PA, but not as disgusting as the IPA, but at that point, we couldn't even finish any of them, and just through out the remainder and left as soon as we could.

I'm hoping, for their sake, that this was just a very bad business decision, rushing to have 3 beers to serve on opening day, because if this is the quality that they plan on serving, I'm never going back.

 

[bluemoose]

Bog Water North?

 

[bob1852]

That Moose head meat beer looked and sounds disgusting......

but I swear I think I tasted it over the weekend.

sub-titled = WHY DO BREWERIES SERVE BAD BEER?

A brand new brewery, Millyard Brewing, opened on Saturday in Nashua, NH. They had hundreds of people, and I was really looking forward to trying their beers and wishing them best of luck in the new endeavor.
At least, I was until I tried their beers. They had 3 on tap, a Pale, Ale, IPA, and Strong Ale. All 3 were served in 4 OZ clear plastic cups. All 3 looked almost identical in color and clarity.

First Sip, the Pale Ale didn't taste quite right, and by the 2nd and 3rd, my wife also confirmed that it tasted like crap - no distinct major off-flavors, but definitely something funky and bad was going on. MOved on to the IPA, and this one was undrinkable. Couldn't even take a second sip, and going back to the PA, that started tasting worse too. The Strong Ale was worse than the PA, but not as disgusting as the IPA, but at that point, we couldn't even finish any of them, and just through out the remainder and left as soon as we could.

I'm hoping, for their sake, that this was just a very bad business decision, rushing to have 3 beers to serve on opening day, because if this is the quality that they plan on serving, I'm never going back.

1) many new breweries are a result of investors that see craft beer as $$$$$$$; they have the financial backing but not the brewing knowledge

2) they probably aren't manipulating water and/or controlling fermentation temps. Sad, but true. See #1

3) hipsters don't know what good beer tastes like, so they flock to these new, hip, breweries and hold their nose drinking bad beer because they don't know what it's supposed to taste like...

 

[Cape Brewing]

1) many new breweries are a result of investors that see craft beer as $$$$$$$; they have the financial backing but not the brewing knowledge

^.... this

Very very weeks go by that we don't have someone asking us all about where we got this or that piece of equip.. or how we handle this or that process... and probably 75% of the time it is someone with very little brewing experience. They have usually done "a couple extract batches" and "my family has some money to put into it". We had one guy who had done one batch at a BYO place and was then telling us about how he was going to hurry up, trademark a name, and start looking for space.

The running joke we have on the topic is basically an impersonation... "Yeah so... I put gas in my car the other day so I'm thinkin' I'm gonna open an auto repair business. Where do you guys buy your oil filters??"

I used to get super pissed and insulted but now I just try to answer the questions as politely as possible and wish them well.

It is amazing how many breweries are also starting out huge right out of the gates. They somehow get millions of dollars in their hands and just have at it, never having brewed anything at all on a commercial scale. If it works for them, awesome... but I couldn't fathom going that route personally. Given how competitive it is, it better be really solid beer from the first batch or you're going out of business REALLY quickly with a shti-ton of debt hanging over your head.

THAT is where I see any "bubble"... I don't see a demand bubble at all but I think a lot of these "just toss up a building and have at it!" Breweries are going to start falling by the wayside.

 

[bob1852]

Here ya go, Cape...

Bring the Bog v.2 out west...

http://www.bizbuysell.com/Business-Opportunity/Tempe-AZ-Brewery-and-Tasting-Room/1260874/

 

[Cape Brewing]

No.

1) Arizona is stupid

And

2) 10bbl system is too small

That said... $300k is a pretty fair price.

 

[Cape Brewing]

You should hop on it Az...

I'm sure they would knock some cash off if you went with, "do you know who I am??" and then showed em the medal.

 

[Cape Brewing]

OMG!!!

You could brew....

TROUT STOUT!!!

Booooooooooom!

 

[bob1852]

OMG!!!

You could brew....

TROUT STOUT!!!

Booooooooooom!

Too late.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Like I said... Arizona is stupid

 

[Bulls Beers]

Here ya go, Cape...

Bring the Bog v.2 out west...

http://www.bizbuysell.com/Business-Opportunity/Tempe-AZ-Brewery-and-Tasting-Room/1260874/

A whole two weeks of training?? Wow!!!! Thats plenty of time to learn how to brew and run a successful brewery.

 

[Melana]

^.... this

Very very weeks go by that we don't have someone asking us all about where we got this or that piece of equip.. or how we handle this or that process... and probably 75% of the time it is someone with very little brewing experience. They have usually done "a couple extract batches" and "my family has some money to put into it". We had one guy who had done one batch at a BYO place and was then telling us about how he was going to hurry up, trademark a name, and start looking for space.

The running joke we have on the topic is basically an impersonation... "Yeah so... I put gas in my car the other day so I'm thinkin' I'm gonna open an auto repair business. Where do you guys buy your oil filters??"

I used to get super pissed and insulted but now I just try to answer the questions as politely as possible and wish them well.

It is amazing how many breweries are also starting out huge right out of the gates. They somehow get millions of dollars in their hands and just have at it, never having brewed anything at all on a commercial scale. If it works for them, awesome... but I couldn't fathom going that route personally. Given how competitive it is, it better be really solid beer from the first batch or you're going out of business REALLY quickly with a shti-ton of debt hanging over your head.

THAT is where I see any "bubble"... I don't see a demand bubble at all but I think a lot of these "just toss up a building and have at it!" Breweries are going to start falling by the wayside.

Not everyone has the benefit of F Dub and his amazing beer.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Hmmm

 

[nhwrecker]

Amen to all the above comments, but then again, we're all in the choir anyway. And I still think I'll keep all my beer ingredients from plants.

That's about as close as I'll get to being a vegan anyway.

Oh, and yay!!!! today at Fenway, the first 500,000 paying customers get a solid plastic gold 500 necklace to wear in honor of it being the first Tuesday that Poppi is playing in Boston this year.

I think tomorrow everyone gets a gold Poppi camel, for his first humpday appearance.

 

[day_trippr]

Got meat?

http://eartheaglebrewings.com/bog-mare/[...]

Jeebus H. Christmas, that is truly the most disgusting beer concept I've ever seen.

What is it with people that they keep wanting to put meat in beer?
I mean, the whole bacon thing is bad enough, but pork chops? And now moose?

Damn....

Cheers!

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Portsmouth is a good beer town. So, the other offerings have got to appease the beer snobs and be good. I'm going to visit that place soon just to try something different. I just want to ask if their tap is vegan.... I wanna hit Tributary too.

 

[day_trippr]

Interesting article - if only because it reveals the somewhat amazingly liberal MA laws on brewery-to-consumer sales (well, for those of us old enough to remember the plethora of "Blue Laws", anyway).

http://www.boston.com/news/beer/201...nge-beer-laws-receives-anonymous-angry-letter

Cheers!

 

[bob1852]

A whole two weeks of training?? Wow!!!! Thats plenty of time to learn how to brew and run a successful brewery.

You can learn to brew and run a successful brewery just by spending two weeks on HBT.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Interesting article - if only because it reveals the somewhat amazingly liberal MA laws on brewery-to-consumer sales (well, for those of us old enough to remember the plethora of "Blue Laws", anyway).

http://www.boston.com/news/beer/201...nge-beer-laws-receives-anonymous-angry-letter

Cheers!

I think you're going to see a lot more of this sort of stuff coming down the pike as the landscape continues to shift pretty dramatically.

All of the three-tier laws were put in place when there were a tiny number of breweries and a large number of distributors. That relationship is now reversing and the last thing distributors and retailers want to give up (understandably so) is the legal protections they've built up over the decades.

As things change, you're going to see more and more of these types of reactions.

 

[bluemoose]

Damn those fat cat nano Brewers!