The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[TheDudeLebowski]

I find this quote shocking:

“We have arguments about this stuff daily. Oh, absolutely we do.”

 

[nhwrecker]

Hey all. Hope you all had a great holiday season and an awesome new year. Me and the SWMBO were down diving in Bonaire for 2.5 weeks. I'd like to say I missed yooz guyz but if that was true I would have checked in from the island. Anyway, sucks to be back, so I figured I'd bust on all of you to feel better. So, please, and kindly, all GFYs. Thanks

 

[paulthenurse]

No one cares Mort. GFY. And return a F'ing call once in a while. Oh and give Pat a kiss for me.

 

[Yooper]

Hey all. Hope you all had a great holiday season and an awesome new year. Me and the SWMBO were down diving in Bonaire for 2.5 weeks. I'd like to say I missed yooz guyz but if that was true I would have checked in from the island. Anyway, sucks to be back, so I figured I'd bust on all of you to feel better. So, please, and kindly, all GFYs. Thanks

that sounds like fun! your toque is on it's way to Texas.

maybe someday I will go to Bonaire but probably not.

 

[Melana]

that sounds like fun! your toque is on it's way to Texas.

maybe someday I will go to Bonaire but probably not.

I would go with you!

 

[paulthenurse]

Take my advice, I've been to Bonaire with Mort. Stay home.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Ummm Jack's Abby Saxonator Doppelbock? Very good.

 

[smurfjuice]

Hey mort is that a parrotfish in your avitar

 

[Melana]

I'd travel anywhere with Yooper

 

[Yooper]

I'd travel anywhere with Yooper

Even I'm sick of traveling with me. Trust me, its no picnic. Well, it was a picnic last night with brisket and cole slaw, but I meant it s a metaphor.

 

[nhwrecker]

Hey mort is that a parrotfish in your avitar

Yes, a male patriotism. I was thinking of changing my avitar to a bloated porcupine fish, but then I realized everyone here would just think I was using a picture of PTN and that would be way wrong.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

What kind of artic wear do you wear to dive in Bonaire? I mean you had quite an outfit at Masstoberfest. I can't see Bonaire being warm enough for you to dive.

 

[paulthenurse]

He wears a full 7 mm wetsuit with gloves and a hood. I wore a tee shirt. There was a 15 year old girl there at the same time as us in a bikini. It was pretty sad to watch him struggle into that wetsuit in 90*F surface temps. He'd be sweating buckets before he was halfway dressed. The water temp was 85*F at 100 feet. Pitiful.

 

[paulthenurse]

The thing about parrotfish is that they spend their time gnawing away at the outer layer of live coral to eat the animals that make the coral exoskeleton. Then they swim around looking like a skywriting Cessna, trailing a plume of sh!t in their wake.

Yup, I'd say Mort has the perfect avatar.

 

[Melana]

Yay! Yooper is going to get me snockered and give me crabs

 

[paulthenurse]

Take a number.

 

[day_trippr]

Yay! Yooper is going to get me snockered and give me crabs

Ya just know someone is gonna use that as their sig...

Cheers!

 

[Yooper]

Take a number.

You are just jealous.

I did tell Melana that you were like 4 blocks from me last year in Austin, and I had beer and BBQ and wild pig at a party and you declined to come.

That's right- you didn't come 4 blocks to come to my party, but I flew to Mass to go to YOUR party.

No way I'm giving you crabs after that. You are so cute that I did lick your cheese, but that's it. That's as far as it goes.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Innuendo...

Reported

 

[Yooper]

Innuendo...

Reported

It's not innuendo- they are 100% true statements.

For starters, I'm making @melana one of my famous tuna margaritas. I think we'll start with oysters, but we may progress to crabs. We'll see how it goes.

You'd have to ask Paulie about his cheese.

 

[Cape Brewing]

True statements...

Reported

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Someone had to be the hero. Besides that cheese was on the ground! Then again, let's not forget the people that ate that pizza. Those are the real heroes.

 

[Melana]

So Cape is reporting Yooper to herself?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Snarky attitude

Reported

 

[paulthenurse]

As I've told you 100 times, we were with another couple who really wanted to go to your party but I was tired and bitchy and on the proverbial rag, so they did the prudent thing and didn't insist that we go. You know how I get when people try to force me to have fun. They must have figured that you would understand what it's like to travel with another couple, one of whom is a friggin' princess and not throw it in their face for the rest of friggin' eternity. Guess they were wrong.

 

[paulthenurse]

And fwiw, you deep throating that braided mozzarella to clean it after you dropped it was just about the funniest moment of 2015.

Not to mention it being erotic as hell in a totally bizarre way.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Speakin' a food... Just roasted and shredded a duck and then rendered all the fat. I was gonna do a little confit type of deal and add it to a chili for the tailgate on Saturday but now I'm torn... thinking maybe some rillettes.

 

[paulthenurse]

Well, you ARE the confit King. After you've shown us how to confit a 300 pound hawg you now want to impress us by doing the same to a 40 oz duck? Pfffft.

Hash. Duck hash. Put your own spin on it.

 

[Cape Brewing]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice!!!!

Cuz of what happened like 8 years ago!!!! I get it!!!

You nailed it man.... Naaaaailed it

 

[paulthenurse]

Was it really 8 years ago? Da fuq!!! We're getting old.