The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Melana]

Good luck to the fam AZ! You know PTN makes ice cream too?

I hear it's gritty too.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

.... and somehow burnt!

 

[the_bird]

You know what's ****ed up? I'm actually brewing BEER tomorrow! Spent yesterday afternoon re-doing my old wort chiller, and getting a coat of oxide on my new 10-gallon brewpot. Steinbier, too! I should make Smurphie come out and help, since he bailed on us at Masstoberfest.

 

[Melana]

NO. WAY.
We are expecting 30mph wind gusts tomorrow which is preventing me from brewing. I was gonna do it. really.

 

[paulthenurse]

Glad I got LSU home this week.

 

[bluemoose]

I think I am going to cook a whole hog next weekend, looking for suggestions. Should I smoke it, cook it in my half finished homemade pizza oven, for the half burned half raw taste, or possible deep fry it?
Please discuss, I think we could all benefit from this.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

You should dry it out and make it tough to chew. I'm not sure how Paul does it, but I'm sure he can give you suggestions.

 

[paulthenurse]

As the leading expert on most everything men with larger than average penises find interesting, and in particular on cooking a whole hog, I have the following suggestions for you. The first thing you should do is go down to your local garden center. Go find the biggest bucket they have and buy it. Also buy yourself the tallest and fattest cactus they have. Go home, fill the bucket up with rubbing alcohol, shove the cactus up your arse, sit down in the bucket and then set it on fire.

That's what I would suggest you do.

 

[Cape Brewing]

You could listen to Paul or you could listen to a guy who has a "how to roast a whole hog" video that has 2.5 million views on Youtube.

... paul's super smart though. Just look at the pizza thread.

 

[bluemoose]

The YouTube guy a friend of yours, Cape?

 

[paulthenurse]

Cape hasn't put the video where he shoves a cactus up his ass on YouTube yet. He keeps that one for his own personal amusement.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Sorry... 2.44 million. Sorry. Didn't mean to exaggerate

 

[bob1852]

Sorry... 2.44 million. Sorry. Didn't mean to exaggerate

Gloating.

Then again, seeing exactly how to deep fry a whole pig is a unique topic worthy of lots of views. I mean, anyone can pit roast a pig...

 

[paulthenurse]

No. That's not true. In my rather large set of acquaintances who actually CAN cook a whole hog, there is only one who has ever deep fried one.

I would suggest that that f'ing SPECTACULAR failure is responsible for the majority of the people who slow down in spite of themselves to look at the car wreck in (rhymes with Cape)'s back yard. Da fuq? You wrap gods gift to man in F'ing burlap? Burlap? Why not toilet paper from a dysentery ward?

 

[Cape Brewing]

No gloating... just facts.

And the deep fry cracks are played. One pig got screwed up years ago.

I'm over it

 

[Cape Brewing]

2.44

 

[paulthenurse]

Three mile back up on Youtube

 

[bob1852]

I'm over it

Well, we're not.

 

[paulthenurse]

And the deep fry cracks are played. One pig got screwed up years ago.

I'm over it

You wouldn't know it the way you get all defensive anytime somebody brings it up.

 

[Cape Brewing]

(Eyeroll)

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

in case you need a link to the video

https://youtu.be/n0FPVTUlgx8

 

[paulthenurse]

Happy Birthday Mort. Now GFY

 

[Cape Brewing]

We should pitch in and get him some sours

 

[paulthenurse]

Have you ever HAD one of Morts brews? Believe me, he's got the sour thing down. All unintended mind you. I think he's working on the brine for the worlds first beer pickles.

 

[Melana]

Happy Birthday Mort!

 

[nhwrecker]

Hi and thanks all to everyone except PTN. Went to Night Shift brewing yesterday. Awesome beers once you find the place.
Cape, I'm actually starting to enjoy some sours now, but I'll never forget that first one I had at your bar. What a shocker for someone who never had one before. Go Pats. And Paul, GFY

 

[paulthenurse]

Mort, the first time he tried a sour beer...

[ame]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8PBMCgxIuYI[/ame]

 

[DakotaRules]

Mort, the first time he tried a sour beer...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8PBMCgxIuYI

So funny!

 

[Yooper]

Hi and thanks all to everyone except PTN. Went to Night Shift brewing yesterday. Awesome beers once you find the place.
Cape, I'm actually starting to enjoy some sours now, but I'll never forget that first one I had at your bar. What a shocker for someone who never had one before. Go Pats. And Paul, GFY

Sorry I missed saying happy birthday yesterday- I've been busy. I'm old. I sleep alot,

 

[Paps]

I'm old. I sleep alot,

You and my dog have something in common then.
Now if i could only get him to brew beer like you do.