The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[the_bird]

No... finally figured out how to get your mom to agree to the tenth and eleventh guy.... it was getting boring just the nine of us and her after a while.

???

The only way you can become aroused is if you're playing with ten other guys?

I mean, whatever works for you.

 

[Cape Brewing]

No.... It just takes that many of us to roll her over.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew because it impresses people

 

[the_bird]

Sounds like you're reached Yeager-level desperation to get your dick wet.

Is everything all right at home, Cape? We're worried about you.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Nahhhhhhhhh.... I just like to roll with the "big girls" now and again. Keep sht fresh.


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[Melana]

Is everything all right at home, Cape? We're worried about you.

Speak for yourself.

 

[Melana]

Cape finally figured out how to dry hop?

No, it was the awesome pro brewer from the bog... Cape just attaches himself to the cool people that make him look good.

 

[bob1852]

No, it was the awesome pro brewer from the bog... Cape just attaches himself to the cool people that make him look good.

Nothing can make Cape look good.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Nothing can make Cape look good.

Ignore her... She's just pissy we all bailed on her and went to your mom's.


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[Melana]

Ignore her... She's just pissy we all bailed on her and went to your mom's.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew because it impresses people

Me? I wasn't the one that said you preferred fat gerbils.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Uhhhh. We established several posts ago that Paul was the gerbil guy.

PKU


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[paulthenurse]

Don't get me in the middle of this. While you and the 82nd Airborne were securing AZ's Moms landing zone I was drinking Guinness and Jameson's and minding my own business.


Sent using Morse Code cause I'm older than dirt.

 

[paulthenurse]

Oh. I was making this.

Got a whole packer brisket, friggin' monster at 17 pounds. Most of the point went into the pot for corned beef, the flat and some of the point into the smoker for pastrami. It was finally done about an hour ago.


Sent using Morse Code cause I'm older than dirt.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Nice. That and a fresh pot of morning coffee will really test out the bathroom renovation.

 

[paulthenurse]

It's a much easier way to take down walls.

 

[paulthenurse]

So I'm sitting at Wendell's. Directly across the street from the Bog. Home of the best and the worst wings around . The sauces are killer. Truly farkin' great. They pour it over parakeet wings. Criminal. And they pour PBR and Bud light. No Bog. But I just left the Bog with two growlers. But I can't drink it in here. And it takes farkin' forever for wings. So I'm drinking PBR.

You suck, Cape.


But it was nice to see FW and Matty again.

 

[paulthenurse]

Just read something that cracked me up. The last time the Cubs won the World Series the Ottoman Empire still existed, lollipops hadn't been invented yet and women could not vote.

 

[bob1852]

Just read something that cracked me up. The last time the Cubs won the World Series the Ottoman Empire still existed, lollipops hadn't been invented yet and women could not vote.

Next year....next year.

At least per "Back to the Future II."

 

[bluemoose]

Love buzzfeed.

 

[paulthenurse]

Watching the news and it occurs to me... Is there anyone, anywhere creepier than Joe Biden? That is one SERIOUSLY creepy dude.

 

[the_bird]

Uh, you. By a pretty wide margin.

"Hey, little miss seventeen-year old waitress. Can I get your phone number?"

 

[paulthenurse]

That was unkind. I'm talking about public figures.

And besides. She was 21.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Paul wouldn't know what do to with the phone number if he got it.

 

[paulthenurse]

I usually sell them to you for $50 and you drunk dial them at 2AM and tell them how pretty they are.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

You funny. I wouldn't give you $0.05 for the numbers. However, it is highly possible that I'd drunk dial them at 2AM.

 

[paulthenurse]

Possible hell. Probable.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Possible, probable, same difference.

 

[paulthenurse]

Not to the girl listening to you slobber into the telephone at 3am.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

I'm not sure why you're so worried about some teeny bopper who never gave you her phone number. We all know that if you ever asked a girl for her phone number, she would run away, screaming.

 

[the_bird]

She didn't scream, exactly. It was more of a guffaw.

 

[paulthenurse]

I'd call it a chuckle, maybe a chortle.