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The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Not that anybody cares, but I'm going to meet my son's future inlaws..Yay!!! I can't wait!! My wife seems to be excited for some reason. I need a drink..

Meet the Focker's here I come..
 
Bulls Beers said:
Not that anybody cares, but I'm going to meet my son's future inlaws..Yay!!! I can't wait!! My wife seems to be excited for some reason. I need a drink.. Meet the Focker's here I come..

Holy crap! You have a kid old enough to be getting married!? What did you do, have him in Jr High School?
 
Ha, thanks man. He's actually my stepson, but I've raised him since he was 5. He's 25 now. If I had him, I would've been 20. His fiance is great. She's a nurse at the Brigham and cute as a button. Is that weird to say? Probably.

My youngest is 8.
 
ComcastWineRookie said:
why do I always regress back to that level of ultimate douchbagery from time to time, that really was uncalled for. Im sorry

I'm going back to ignoring you. I don't care about your deeply rooted angst. Please do me the courtesy of not responding to posts of mine. You should assume they are not intended for you.5
 
It's weird when your kids get older. My girls friends, kids I've know since they crawled, are hotties now. I took the girls and a bunch of their friends out on the boat and I couldn't look anywhere except straight ahead.

Good luck with the Fockers. Maybe they'll be cool. Probably not, your kid is getting jiggy with their daughter. I'd expect a cool reception. Although they're engaged, that gives him some legitimacy in their eyes.
 
Bulls Beers said:
Ha, thanks man. He's actually my stepson, but I've raised him since he was 5. He's 25 now. If I had him, I would've been 20. His fiance is great. She's a nurse at the Brigham and cute as a button. Is that weird to say? Probably.

My youngest is 8.

And your beautiful wife was what, barely out of diapers?

Congrats!
 
It's weird when your kids get older. My girls friends, kids I've know since they crawled, are hotties now. I took the girls and a bunch of their friends out on the boat and I couldn't look anywhere except straight ahead.

... "And the award for 'The Single Skeeviest Thing Ever Said On Homebrewtalk, And That's Saying A Lot" goes to.... PaulTheNurse!

C'mon down, Paul, and congratulations! Now, let's cut off those testicles of yours before you do something you regret!"
 
... "And the award for 'The Single Skeeviest Thing Ever Said On Homebrewtalk, And That's Saying A Lot" goes to.... PaulTheNurse!

C'mon down, Paul, and congratulations! Now, let's cut off those testicles of yours before you do something you regret!"

I thought he lost those years ago....
 
What did I say that was icky?

I took my girls and their friends out on the boat. I didn't expect the kids I used to coach in junior high girls softball to show up wearing the bathing suits they were all wearing. It would be creepy if I was looking. What I said was I didn't need/want to be seeing that so I kept my eyes looking the other way. How is that creepy?
 
What did I say that was icky?

I took my girls and their friends out on the boat. I didn't expect the kids I used to coach in junior high girls softball to show up wearing the bathing suits they were all wearing. It would be creepy if I was looking. What I said was I didn't need/want to be seeing that so I kept my eyes looking the other way. How is that creepy?

you a bigger man than I am, if it was me I would have stared all day and thought dirty dirty things
 
I'm a little late to the couch surfing party, but why don't you start with an inflatable couch? Must be wicked comfortable - just look how happy they are.

couch.jpg
 
Cape Brewing said:
... Like I was saying before.... you just need to somehow make the toboggans bouyant and as long as you don't have any big waves, it should be fine. If you can get the thing to pretty much float, you shouldn't have a problem having the "rider" holding the tow rope as long as you start off reasonably slow and build momentum. I would think having the rider hold the rope would be safer only because they can let go in case of immenent death. Steering this thing seems like a long shot. My suggestion would 100% be to get this bad larry to float somehow. If not, at the first sign of any hiccups (which there is about a 100% chance of that happeneing within the first 12 seconds), the thing will simply sink right to the bottom... and you've done all sorts of work in order to achieve 12 seconds of fail and a pile of trash at the bottom of the ocean. How about sealing up a couple 1/2 bbl sankes... attaching them to the bottom of the couch itself... and making sure that the toboggans are a good 6 inches lower than the bottom of the kegs? The couch would float like a pontoon boat and when you started pulling, it should slowly come up on a plane. If there was a problem, the thing would just stop and float.

Even better yet empty plastic malt drums.
 
nhwrecker said:
I'm a little late to the couch surfing party, but why don't you start with an inflatable couch? Must be wicked comfortable - just look how happy they are.

Lame Mort. Lame. You'll be begging me for the video of the Barka-skiing Couch for next years Sea Rovers Show. If you ask nice I might even be a guest speaker.

Speaking of which, when is this years show?
 
PTN won't listen to my reason, but I'd humbly suggest Washburn Island in Waquoit Bay for your couch skiiing shenanigans. Campsites, easy boat access, watersports in the the bay or boating out past the breakwater, sandy beach, no hassles. Really nice area. You have to reserve campsites in advance.
 
Ya.

Uhhhh no. Not even close.

Nice try.

You need me to keep this pathetic whine-fest of a thread from devolving into complete banality. You can deny all you want, but you need me to be here. Otherwise there would be nothing left but Melana's avatar (which is pretty kickin', I admit, but she could change it).

The one thing you need to watch for on Washburn is that there are a lot of ticks there. They like to suck on big fat sweaty guys in summer. If PTN shows up everyone else should have a nice, tick-free experience. They swim, so pulling up offshore won't help.
 
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