The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[bottlebomber]

I could but it wouldnt be worth it. The stuff tastes like soy sauce. I have a small amount just aging hoping it would get better but it hasnt so far. Because if the taste, i never bothered to have the abv tested. My guess is it ended up somewhere around 30%.

The barley brandy? Lol... Forum fail at it's pinnacle. You should just slowly mix it in with your Bong Water brews, just so you can say somebody drank some.

 

[paulthenurse]

Wait.... You're moving into the Ho House?


Definitely time to add a Belgian style into the lineup.

'Slap and Tickle Triple'

'Happy Ending Wit'

'The Orgy Quad'

 

[the_bird]

Doubling your capacity? Nice! I mean, it's basically the same amount of work to do ten-gallon batches instead of five, so you might as well.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Exactly....

We need a bigger immersion chiller though.

 

[paulthenurse]

So now you'll have what? 8? 10? 12 five gallon buckets lined up as your fermenters?

That will be an impressive sight.

 

[Cape Brewing]

You should see those airlocks go!

 

[paulthenurse]

Last time I was there it sounded like I was underwater there was so much bubbling going on. I can't imagine how loud its going to be now. You'll have to go out to the hot dog cart just to talk.

 

[homebrewhaha]

Is Cape the homebrewer in the Buffalo Wild Wings ad?

 

[DakotaRules]

Both of mine are up!

And props to bird. That was pretty farkin' funny.

Da ladies seem to like my universally large sit-she-ation.

Dead hookers don't talk, your imagination has run away again.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Out of curiosity, where do you hide your universally large sit-she-ation? Obviously you didn't have it with you when I met you.

Yoop, he's had that size of sit-she-ation for a long time.

Paul, how many years have you been sitting to pee because you can't see willy?

 

[paulthenurse]

Been poundin' down the Barrtells and James tonight, Rick?

 

[yeager1977]

Paul, how many years have you been sitting to pee because you can't see willy?

Classic....

 

[nhwrecker]

Couldn't be worse than that sheep fcker in Nashua.

Man,
I take a few days off from reading this thread, and now the sheep story comes out. I thought I had that dead and buried, along with the sheep. I guess I shouldn't have trusted Aaron Hernandez to bury the body for me.

 

[paulthenurse]

You've got "I luv ewe!"tattooed on your arm. Did you really expect no one would figure it out? Just cause you got lucky and Pat believed you when you told her the guy who did the tat screwed up did you think that story would work with everybody?

 

[paulthenurse]

At the new Harpoon beer garten. They just charged the dudes next to me $24 for two flights of beer.


Farkin' A!!! Somebody could make a farkin' fortune by opening up a little brewery, letting in the unwashed masses and Lettin' The Good Times Roll.

(fwiw..While .I'm not "specifically" referring to the two malodorous Indian guys who just dropped the equivalent of a years wages for three of their countrymen on 48 ounces of beer... but then again in vino veritas)

Yup... Develop a half decent recipe, tell the wife you're feeling an indescribable angst over turning forty and you can either eviscerate your 401k and open a brewery or you can bang the babysitter like a storm door in a hurricane.

Before you can say 'Rookie is a pedophile' you've got illegal aliens pouring your beer, brewing your beer and drinking your beer. You want to go to the kids Little League game, you want to eat dinner with the family, you yearn to bump uglies with SWMBO, you would LOVE to go our fishing on your friends boat BUT.......

If you turn your attention away for ONE minute the 16 of you ( you and your family plus your partners and theirs) will ALL be living under that overpass on Memorial Drive in Cambridge by the MIT sculling barn.

Yup. Opening a brewery is a farkin wicked pissah idea.

 

[the_bird]

^^ The weird thing is, I don't even think that Paulie's drunk, I'm pretty sure he's just retarded.

 

[paulthenurse]

Nah, I'm fairly well pissed.

 

[Cape Brewing]

And jealous as muthafcka as far as I can tell

Hey Paulie... Know anyone in the market for a 1 1/2 bbl nano? We've outgrown it and are moving up.

Oooooo. Tooooo bad you emptied the family coffers in that the trailer-weight sittin in your yard!

 

[Cape Brewing]

Oh by the way Paulie... I know you weren't referring to ME in your drunken rant BUT, you shouldn't be so hard on the concept. Even if we held revenue to where it is right now (six months into operations) we will earn our entire investment back in another three-four months. So... Whoever you're ranting about might not be as dumb as you think.

 

[bob1852]

And jealous as muthafcka as far as I can tell

Hey Paulie... Know anyone in the market for a 1 1/2 bbl nano? We've outgrown it and are moving up.

Oooooo. Tooooo bad you emptied the family coffers in that the trailer-weight sittin in your yard!

I can't believe the brewery in my tiny town upgraded to a 3bbl system before the BongWater did....

Seriously though, congrats Cape. Wish I had the balls (errrrrr....stupidity) to go pro.

Owner of Moonlight Meadery really liked my oaked cherry melomel, and wanted to chat about the recipe but the fvcker never wrote me back. His loss is your gain.

Oh, and took a massive spill on my mtn bike yesterday. Yes, PTN isn't the only fat HBTer with a mtn bike.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Cool! Ehhh. In regards me my gain that is.

We are anxiously awaiting the keys to our new space and are drooling over the small nooks we're going to be able to tuck a few barrels of goodies.

I still really wanna try a shot of that melomel in a big porter. Sounds like it has high Win potential. Test-batching (that's cool "pro lingo") a new beer this weekend. I have high hopes. We'll see.

 

[paulthenurse]

Please tell us that somewhere in your lineup you're going to have something named EAC.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Ahhhhhh... rise and shine Sunshine! How are we feeling this morning???

 

[paulthenurse]

Never better. I wasnt hitting them hard till I got home. That Harpoon barrel aged series is scrumpdiddlyiscous. Unfortunately I had been up since 4pm on Wednesday afternoon so by the time i got home at 5 I was toast. Weeded the vineyard for a bit then fell asleep on the couch with a just poured bree at hand. What a waste. It was still there this morning.

The 'no longer leaking' hydraulic steering arm was in Brockton this morning and is 'out for delivery' It will be back on and installed an hour after it gets here and we'll be back to boating. Yippeekiyay muttafarka!

 

[Cape Brewing]

Whoa whoa... You have used the boat once and something already broke???

 

[DakotaRules]

Whoa whoa... You have used the boat once and something already broke???

B=broke
O=on
A=a
T=trailer

 

[bob1852]

Two best days of owning a boat: the day you buy it and the day you sell it.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Two best days of owning a boat: the day you buy it and the day you sell it.

Wow, that's witty! Did you just make that up!?

 

[bob1852]

Wow, that's witty! Did you just make that up!?

No.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Too bad, that was super funny.