The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[homebeerbrewer]

Oh man... That better make someone's signature in a hurry.

Done.

 

[the_bird]

So, Paulie and Dakota took a cruise up to P-Town, and Paulie came home with a sore ass. The only part of that statement that is the least bit surprising is that I always figured Dakota was the catcher.

 

[DakotaRules]

I always figured Dakota was the catcher.

Only in your wettest dreams bird.

 

[paulthenurse]

Hey bird,

Just over two weeks till "The Great Finger Lakes Invasion of 2012"

Capes gonna burn a hot dog on a stick and talk trash about what a wicked pissa weekend he's having. Nancy.

 

[the_bird]

I'm already stoked. Keep forgetting to inquire about a rental van, though. Been busy as **** around here.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Amateurs.

 

[paulthenurse]

My very first patient last night was this beautiful little three year old girl with conjunctivitis. I get her fixed up, show Mom how to put the medication in her eyes and send them on their merry way.

Unfortunately, it appears I was somewhat lax in my hand washing technique and just woke up with five pounds of sand under my eyelids and my eye lashes glued shut.

On the upside it's beautiful out and since I can't go to work I can make it a little better by hanging around on the deck, drinking beer and trying to figure out all the words to "Louie Louie."

I'll settle for that.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

So, the first patient has conjunctivitis, and then all subsequent patients have conjunctivitis. Good job.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Paul's confused. He is saying "pink eye" but I think he means his "brown eye" is glued shut with five pounds of gunk.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

What? PTN confused? Is that supposed to be news?

 

[paulthenurse]

Brown eye finally recovered after the abuse it endured in Ptown last weekend, but it took almost a full week. Then when I could finally get back on the saddle without discomfort I broke a spoke doing a time trial this past Saturday. Sucked because I was going like a bat out of hell. A slow, old, fat bat but......

Just picked up the new and improved wheel this evening. I'll be back to cranking out the mileage tomorrow.

 

[the_bird]

... and there's another one for the quote bin...

 

[the_bird]

I always thought that "blueberry ale" was a metaphor, for the state of Yeager's balls after his wife doesn't have sex with him for six months.

 

[paulthenurse]

It's that too.

But the kid makes gallons of that blueberry crap. Honest to God, the stuff would make a maggot sick to its stomach. He claims his wife drinks it. She weighs about 90 pounds. I don't know. Maybe she has a wicked high metabolism. I just know that anybody Ive know who allegedly drinks that much beer weighs more. Considerably more.

And you've seen Yeager. He ain't exactly Mr Universe. I think we can all draw our own conclusions about where the blueberry beer goes.

 

[j1laskey]

Brown eye finally recovered after the abuse it endured in Ptown last weekend, but it took almost a full week. Then when I could finally get back on the saddle without discomfort I broke a spoke doing a time trial this past Saturday. Sucked because I was going like a bat out of hell. A slow, old, fat bat but......

Just picked up the new and improved wheel this evening. I'll be back to cranking out the mileage tomorrow.

Wow...that first sentence is very confusing....

 

[DakotaRules]

Wow...that first sentence is very confusing....

It doesn't seem confusing to me. Paul love P'Town. I'm sure he really wanted to stay longer but just could take anymore pounding.

 

[the_bird]

I'd be careful there, Dakota. You went cruising up to P-town alongside him!

 

[homebeerbrewer]

You and Paul don't have to go to P-town to do your pounding. You just can't do it in public.

 

[barneygumble]

You, my friend, live in the geographical equivilant of my sore taint. Right now, I want you to go outside and look around. Go on...



See what I mean?

Well, I live on one of two lakes in the Berkshires. This place is geographical nervana. Total resort material with Jimney Peak's windmill spinnin right behind the lake.

Its the PEOPLE!

If you are a Libertarian Conservative Constitutionalist, ( in other words, a Jeffersonian, yep, thats me), this place is Mars. I gotta move back to NH or maybe consider Texas or Oklahoma.

 

[barneygumble]

Brown eye finally recovered after the abuse it endured in Ptown last weekend, but it took almost a full week. Then when I could finally get back on the saddle without discomfort I broke a spoke doing a time trial this past Saturday. Sucked because I was going like a bat out of hell. A slow, old, fat bat but......

Just picked up the new and improved wheel this evening. I'll be back to cranking out the mileage tomorrow.

Didn't I see you in those assless chaps walking down commercial street a week ago Sat? Brown eye too sore for the chafing?

 

[barneygumble]

OK, gotta run. Huge pyro here, and the werks are startin on the lake. None for me this year or last, thanks to hosting two weddings in 9 months (any idea how much werks I couldda bought wholesale for what I spent on food alone? damn!!! I'd a been shootin werks constantly for a week). Next year, next year. Back to barge o werks.

 

[paulthenurse]

Started in on the White Mule a little early this holiday, eh?

 

[paulthenurse]

ÀHappy 4OJ to all.


Tall Ships in Boston Harbor = Way Cool!

(In a silly, not quite serious way, I'm amost afraid of the Canadian navy. Wierd!)

 

[paulthenurse]

At the Hingham Beer Works 'priming' for the Further concert tonight. Haymarket Hefeweizen don't suck at all, Victory White is weak.

 

[the_bird]

One week and two hours away from the start of vacation.....

 

[j1laskey]

At the Hingham Beer Works 'priming' for the Further concert tonight. Haymarket Hefeweizen don't suck at all, Victory White is weak.

How old is Bobby now?...Man, he looks like a homeless dude sometimes.

 

[paulthenurse]

He's old. I'm old.

He dresses like he shops at the Salvation Army. I dress like I shop at Goodwill.

I don't see the problem.

 

[j1laskey]

So how we're those old timers?...I couldn't bring myself to give them anymore money

 

[paulthenurse]

Rockin' it old school!

 

[Cape Brewing]

Google just sent me a second check, this one for $126.

That's effin hilarious.

They are paying for clicks on my old pig roast video. Sucker is up to 222k views.

I've made about $240 so far. Damn video is gonna pay for the pig at some point!