The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[TheDudeLebowski]

Any free kegs from Bong Water Breweries on opening day?

 

[Cape Brewing]

"Every brew made with 100% peat malt!"

Not true... We are heavy with the nutmeg as well. It strays from the true "bogyness" but we think it rounds the beer off nicely.

 

[paulthenurse]

Vee use honly die finest Kaiser Malt in der Vaterland, raised in die kingdom of Bog Iron, crushed between die thighs of virgins and brewed by der finest brewgermeisters in der Vaterland! Bog Iron Beers. Try one! Ja!

 

[RLinNH]

I should of known better when the label said "Imperial Oktoberfest Beer". Yuck, elcckk, umph. Imperial Oktoberfest!?!?!? What the fawk was Avery thinking.

 

[paulthenurse]

Headed to the Boston Sea Rovers show , the oldest scuba show around, and our ok'd friend and Masshole Mort is da top dog, el Presedente', the Big Kahuna. Too bad he can't brew.

Hey Cape, you should bring him in as a partner. He's got the qualifications!

 

[nhwrecker]

PTN
track me down at the show, I just got done with my meetings.

 

[bob1852]

So the owner of Moodlight Meadery in New Hampshaaaaaaaaah (isn't that how you m******** talk? ) judged my mead at Mazer Cup and wants to talk about the recipe! :rockin:

 

[homebeerbrewer]

So the owner of Moodlight Meadery in New Hampshaaaaaaaaah (isn't that how you m******** talk? ) judged my mead at Mazer Cup and wants to talk about the recipe! :rockin:

Too many a's. We talk fast here, and if we spent that much time pronouncing all those a's, the person we're talking to would start their own conversation.

And, does he want to talk about the recipe to know what not to do?

 

[paulthenurse]

He's got a nice little lineup of meads out for sale. Unfortunately, it's all a little hot because of the nature of mead. What startup business can afford to sit on it's product for the five years plus it takes before meads lose that medicinal hotness? Good for you though AZ. You were judged by someone who knows what they are judging. Let's face it, 95% of the time mead gets judged by beer guys who have a light day as skiffs. "Hey Joe, since you are only judging light lagers and milds today, can you and Fred do the meads too?"

 

[paulthenurse]

And just ignore Rick, we all do.

 

[bob1852]

He's got a nice little lineup of meads out for sale. Unfortunately, it's all a little hot because of the nature of mead. What startup business can afford to sit on it's product for the five years plus it takes before meads lose that medicinal hotness?

If it takes 5 years to lose it's hotness, you're doing it wrong. Sacchromyces is getting his drinkable in ~6 weeks. Staggered nutrient additions and filtering goes a long ways...

This one was made in January 10, 2010; hit FG by February 12, and had cleared by May.

Good for you though AZ. You were judged by someone who knows what they are judging. Let's face it, 95% of the time mead gets judged by beer guys who have a light day as skiffs. "Hey Joe, since you are only judging light lagers and milds today, can you and Fred do the meads too?"

The best part is that I took incredibly detailed notes during the creation of this beast (rare for me, since I'm lazy), so I can actually make it again. It was cool to have a pro-mazer say "don't change a thing, and let's chat more about this recipe."

And just ignore Rick, we all do.

Noted.

 

[paulthenurse]

Does Sac have a thread describing his process!

 

[bob1852]

Does Sac have a thread describing his process!

Is that a question or an emphatic statement?

I don't think he's written it up on here. But in my discussions with him, Schramm, and some other pro mazers, it boils (and please don't boil the must) down to this:

- quality honey (not that fake Chinese sh!t from Wal-Mart
- aerate the must a metric sh!t tonne (to use Cape's terms)
- pitch 1-2g/gallon of yeast, rehydrated in GoFerm
- don't use EC-1118
- use staggered nutrient additions (see hightest's sticky in the mead forum)
- ferment at 62*F
- degas often

I don't filter, so my turn around isn't as quick as Sacc's (I like to let it clear before packaging), but he had some 21 day old mead at NHC last year that was amazing!

 

[Cape Brewing]

mead blows

 

[day_trippr]

So the owner of Moodlight Meadery in New Hampshaaaaaaaaah[...]

It's pronounced "Cow Hamstah".

And kudos on the mead

Cheers!

 

[paulthenurse]

Is that a question or an emphatic statement?

Nah, it sitting in the sun outside of my mechanic's shop typing on an iPhone and not being able to see my typo's.

Way cool thoughts on the advanced schedule. I have a 4/5's full 5 gallon tub of Maine wildflower honey sitting around gathering dust. Score!

And congrats on your way cool entry, I hope to try some at Masstoberfest. You ARE coming to Masstoberfest THIS year aren't you?

P

 

[bob1852]

Since I'm not going to NHC this year, I can probably swing a trip across the country to hang out with a bunch of dudes I met on the interwebz :fro:

At least I know you all don't look like your avatars. Well, except for Cape.

 

[DakotaRules]

mead blows

So does cape...

 

[nhwrecker]

Hey,

can anyone else tell me why losing just 1 hour over the weekend is causing me to have a second Monday morning this week? Of course, it might be because SWMBO and I went to a brand new bar that opened in Nashua, Noo Hamshah (BTW,please note the correct spelling from someone who actually lives here.....). Highlight of the place (at least for my wife) is that they have 100 wines on "tap", that they sell by the 1.5 oz tasting, 3 0z 1/2 glass, or 6 oz. half glass. All the wines are from California, but they don't have a single CA IPA, on tap, or bottle. F'ing winos. Anywhoo, we get the bill, and it's $147....turns out my lovely wife was just looking at the left side of the menu, where the names of the wines were, and not the F'ing right side of the menu, that printed a little thing called PRICE.

I'll pay $21/glass if I have to, but I kinda like it when the person knows they're drinking $21/glass wine, and not $6-8/glass.

Sorry, rant over. Can't wait for Tuesday to get here.

Speaking of Tuesday, what's the topic of tonight's meeting? Bad Beer Tastes, or Tasting Beer in the Right Glass?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Paul... Please. If Az is going to visit the area are you really, with a straight face, suggest "Masstoberfest"? Really??

Az... Don't worry. I'll send you some details on a real cookout/beer event.

 

[DakotaRules]

Paul... Please. If Az is going to visit the area are you really, with a straight face, suggest "Masstoberfest"? Really??

Az... Don't worry. I'll send you some details on a real cookout/beer event.

Are you planning to deep fry a 400lbs pig again?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Ha!!!!! Aha ah ha haha !!!!!!

Good one!!!!

 

[the_bird]

Are you planning to deep fry a 400lbs pig again?

I wouldn't. I mean, Paulie can be kind of annoying, but it's not worth killing him.

 

[Cape Brewing]

The pit isnt THAT big.

Speaking of the NIHFC... Can I even enter this year??? You know, since I'm a pro now??

Jesus... I'm gonna have THE preeminent homebrew "festival" in Massachusetts (go ahead... Name another one that has more than 31 tapsflowing) at my house and I can't even enter a beer in the comp?!

That's weak.

I say as long as I brew it at home and not on our professional equipment then it should be fine. Although I admit I will feel bad when I win. Kinda like Albert Pujols winning a whiffleball tourney... Well... duh... What did you expect?

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Don't worry Brian, you won't win.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Oh... I'll win my ass off. Don't you worry 'bout that

 

[nhwrecker]

Wow, those big fonts get really big.......

 

[cheezydemon3]

Win your mass off maybe?

WTF. This thread is no Threadkilla!!!!!

 

[Cape Brewing]

Oh.

Ok

 

[the_bird]

Pats are going to sign Mario Williams (and Brandon Lloyd). That's my prediction. Book it.