The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[DakotaRules]

Thanks bird, I'll spray some more "eu day toilet" this morning.

 

[paulthenurse]

Hey Lads and Lassies,

Got home last night after a fantastic trip through Holland, Belgium and Iceland. I'll post up a bunch of pics later on but I just need to share 'my haul.' All of this stuff made it home inside our suitcases. Of course, taking extra suitcases helped.


Take note of the three bottles in front. One bottle each of Westveltern 6, 8 and 12.

And I managed to fit a little swag in there, too. Spent a freaking fortune on glasses.

In Brussels, the Kwark was gimmicky but we were pretty thirsty after having gone without a beer for several hours. Gulped them down (kwark kwark kwark as the beer bubbles out of the bulb), then moved on to much better beers. Norm loved the Rochfort

Alice feeling pretty happy at the Delerium Tremens Cafe.

At the Halve Mann brewery in Brugge.

The coolship on the top floor of the Halve Mann

In search of the Holy Grail...

Number 12

 

[Cape Brewing]

So instead of more beer.... You brought back three arm-loads of glasses you could have bought on EBay?

(ring.... ring.... ring)

Hello?
Oh hi Jerk Store.
What? You're all out of Paul??

 

[paulthenurse]

I REALLY tried to bring home more Westy. But they march to their own drummer, these are men who chose to live behind walls. They brew beer but they are not brewers, they are monks first and foremost. They just brew so they can be monks.

"Can I buy a case of the 12?"

"No"

"OK, how bout the 8?"

"No. We're not selling beer today."

"Will you be selling it tomorrow?"

"Maybe, but I don't think so."

"But we can drink it here at the cafe today?"

"Yes."

"OK, I can live with that."

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Pic #2. Nice doll.

 

[paulthenurse]

At a cheese shop in the Dutch city of Gouda, home of guess what kind of cheese.

Mort Subite Cafe in Brussels. The faro was incredible.

The building with the golden horse on top is the Brewers Guild in Brussels.

Al and Norm having a beer at the Halve Mann.

Puppy taking a nap in the window.

PTN doing his part to move international relationships ahead by leaps and bounds.

 

[paulthenurse]

Pic #2. Nice doll.

You do have some sort of relationship with a member of the fairer sex, right? You pick your battles. If she wants a china doll on top of the piano what do I care?

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

You do have some sort of relationship with a member of the fairer sex, right? You pick your battles. If she wants a china doll on top of the piano what do I care?

I understand. Looked like a nice trip. How the hell did you get a suitcase of bottles back? I had so much trouble just bringing a couple of bottles from Napa Valley back into Nazichusetts.

 

[paulthenurse]

Europe%202012/DSC_0373.jpg[/IMG]At a flea market in the square of some town near Poppering. Picked up a lot of neat swag here.

Norm enjoying the Nuns beer. (He's such a ham with the ladies.)

Hop fields near Poppering.

We live in a culturally depraved wasteland. We have public celebrations like the 4th of July and serve Bud Lite out of plastic cups. In Roselare they celebrate May Day and serve Alexandre Rodenbach out of those same plastic cups. We serve hot dogs, they serve escargot. Cultural wasteland.

 

[paulthenurse]

In the Red Light District in Amsterdam.

You pretty much want to take a shower after walking down one of these alleys.

Norm hanging out in the Red Light District.

Normie's in love...

Most surprising thing of the entire trip. Heineken Beer, fresh and on tap at the brewery in Amsterdam is REALLY freakin' good! I mean seriously good. Look at that lacing on the glass.

What? No helmets, seat belts or car seats? Everyone gets around by bike in Holland. And apparently the lawyers all go hungry. It's all quite refreshing.

 

[paulthenurse]

I found a wicked cool deal in Reykjavik, rented this three room apartment of 200 Euro for 4 nights. It was a steal!

Iceland is probably my favorite place of all. We have promised ourselves that every trip to Europe will either begin or end there. This was my second time back inside a year.

At the Blue Lagoon.

I found a place called Cafe Babalu in Reykjavik. No beer. Bummer.

Our idea of the best way to handle fresh fish differs quite a bit from the Icelandic view.

And their historical diet contains some pretty damned unusual foods.

The putrified Greenland shark gets buried in the dirt for 4 or 5 months then gets hung up to dry for another 6 months or so. It smells like ammonia mixed with rotten fish, has the consistency of rubber bands and tastes like used motor oil and really strong cheese. Takes a little getting used to, but if you wash it down with the local caraway schnappps , Brennivin.... OK it still tastes like ass but they say it puts lead in your pencil. I was writing with a Number 8 Hard Tip after a couple of hunks.

Plus there is the dung smoked lamb, the puffin, the Minke whale, herring up the wazzoo, reindeer and horse. Ya, horse. Don't ask. That Brennivin packs a wallop.

 

[Melana]

Incredible pictures.

 

[Cape Brewing]

We live in a culturally depraved wasteland. We have public celebrations like the 4th of July and serve Bud Lite out of plastic cups. In Roselare they celebrate May Day and serve Alexandre Rodenbach out of those same plastic cups. We serve hot dogs, they serve escargot. Cultural wasteland.

You should move there!!

 

[Cape Brewing]

The more I think about it Paul, the more I like the idea. I can absokutely picture you living in Europe. Just think of how much the general jollyness of Europe cpuld be increased if you lived there!!

Its a wasteland here in the States and I, for one, know you deserve better. You need to spread those big flabby wings and fly baby. Be free! Eat snails!! We'll all stay here and wallow in our suckiness.

Let me know when you need help packing. I'll make sure Flounder is available.

 

[paulthenurse]

Hey don't knock it. The snails are way better than the fermented shark.

Besides, you would miss me if I moved away. Who would you have to look up to?

PTN

 

[paulthenurse]

Incredible pictures.

Thank you Melana.

 

[paulthenurse]

A few more pics since Melana is nice.

The town hall in Gouda.

Brussels Grand Market

The old beer delivery system.

They look cute but they are the most uncomfortable damn things you can put on your feet.

Brugge.

The old mash tun at The Halve Mann (The Half Moon) Brewery.

 

[paulthenurse]

A beautiful spring day along a canal in Brugge.

Me at the door to the St Sixtus Abbey. Oddly enough, they wouldn't open the door and let me in. Go figure.

BUT... They are expanding. Since there probably aren't a whole lot of new monks and they don't need the bedrooms, I'm thinking they are expanding the brewery. At least I hope so.

This one's for you, Cape. Me munching on the escargot.

I liked this when I saw it, pretty close to the airport on the way back to Amsterdam. The new and the old.

"I think he said "Blessed are the cheesemakers..."

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

How did you get all that beer home? They give me **** at the canadian border when i try and get a 3rd case back

 

[Cape Brewing]

ARRRRRE... YOU... FICKIN... KIDDING ME?!?!?

Did you HONESTLY just post that pic of yourself eating snails on purpose!?!?!

WOW... I've seen you do stupid stuff... SEVERAL times but posting THAT pic, so that I can grab it, save it to my computer for evah and evah and then photoshop THAT face onto about 5.76 million of the most disturbing images I can find on the web...

WOW.. I'm... I'm speechless. THAT sir took a lotta nerve.

I'm actually giddy with the possibilities but will have to wait until I get home. I don't think any of the pics I'm going to grab would be un-blocked through my work computer.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man... that's just too fickin funny... I'm giggling like a bastid already.

 

[Cape Brewing]

toothpick officially air-brushed out...

I can't even put into words how much this just made my day.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

I REALLY tried to bring home more Westy. But they march to their own drummer, these are men who chose to live behind walls. They brew beer but they are not brewers, they are monks first and foremost. They just brew so they can be monks.

"Can I buy a case of the 12?"

"No"

"OK, how bout the 8?"

"No. We're not selling beer today."

"Will you be selling it tomorrow?"

"Maybe, but I don't think so."

"But we can drink it here at the cafe today?"

"Yes."

"OK, I can live with that."

Westy is actually in dire need of rebuilding their abbey. It's falling apart. PTN did you try using the Beer Phone?

 

[the_bird]

... I have a bad feeling that Cape's Photoshop job is going to violate Tx's "No Hardcore" rule, and I'd just as soon not see that.

 

[Cape Brewing]

The possibilities are endless....

 

[DakotaRules]

Bird I think you've violated that rule with your kiddy porn!

 

[paulthenurse]

I have that EXACT same expression on my face whenever I drink your beers, Cape. Faintly scared, sorta nauseous, not really sure why I'm doing what I'm doing, like I ought to know better.

PTN

 

[Cape Brewing]

You're only making it worse on yourself

 

[DakotaRules]

Cape, let's have a contest to see who can come up with the best Photoshop. You have mine email so we won't violate too many rules on HBT. I have a couple ideas that'll make you blow oxy clean through your nose. Bird, you want in? No kiddie porn thou.

 

[the_bird]

I don't know, man. Y'all seem a little TOO excited to play a game of "Let's See What We Can Stick In Paul's Mouth."