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The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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paulthenurse

paulthenurse

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First round of golf in two years. While I haven't gotten any better I haven't gotten any worse. Made enough "Holy Sh!t, can I get an AMEN!" shots that I made at tee time for next week. Now all I need is for The Dude to take me under his wing and coach me up. I'm even willing to play for beer, if the handicap is right. wink wink nod nod
 

TheDudeLebowski

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Two simple tips:
#1) Have fun
#2) keep your head still

Lots of people take it way too serious and the space between the ears gets them frustrated. Head moving is always a common problem even with advanced players. #3 may be keep your leading arm straight.

:)
 

jrgtr42

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Two simple tips:
#1) Have fun
#2) keep your head still

Lots of people take it way too serious and the space between the ears gets them frustrated. Head moving is always a common problem even with advanced players. #3 may be keep your leading arm straight.

:)
My issues when ruining a good day by chasing a little ball around a beautiful park is bending the knees (I have a bad habit of locking my knees) and the weight shift - getting onto the lead foot during the swing, instead of ending up back to the trailing one.
 

balrog

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I worked 10 years in R&D at Spalding and designed dimple patterns. The most important thing I learned about the game of golf was take lots of balls, forget the ones you hit in the woods, play with people you like.


Oh. And don't forget the sunscreen lotion. (and PTN, some lotion for the back of your neck as well as where normally used)
 

balrog

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Nobody says I didn't. Especially when mgmt decided to sue everyone and his brother and I started spending more time in legal depositions than in research, having arguments about things like you can't use planar geometry on something that isn't, you know, a plane. Like a golf ball. Which isn't. A plane.

And they'll never find the bodies.
 

balrog

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My smart colleagues turned from engineers to lawyers.
That was definitely the push, get the techies to go into legal. But we'd win cases we shouldn't and we lost cases we should, and it's not about right, wrong or virtue but how your argument is interpreted by judge and/or jury. I prefer to stick to math. It generally always works out the same.
 

day_trippr

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Hah! Very close, and I didn't even know Wormtown had a Mass Whole :D
I was looking for Major Mass Soul in the 16oz cans but the Wachusetts brewery was only selling it in growlers or 32oz cans.
Picked up a couple of the big generic cans anyway. Tasty beer...

Cheers!
 

day_trippr

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lol! That's cruel :D

Speaking of boats on blocks, I was finally able to track down a replacement Teleflex steering cable in spite of the supply chain being totally stopped right now. Got lucky one time. Of course there isn't a boat yard that can slip me in (I literally have had them say "2021"). So I'm gonna be lifting that 300+ pound beyotch outboard myownself - as soon as the $100 lifting eye assembly shows up, hopefully by Wednesday.

Should be "fun". Every time I've done something new on this boat I've uncovered the horrors of the work I have paid others to do.
Can't wait to see what they did to the transom through-bolt holes - or more likely, what they never did...
 

Dland

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Ohh, ....that kind of blocks.... I was picturing rigging and got a little confused.
 

Hoppy2bmerry

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I spent Saturday sanding the entire inside surface of the boat, deck, bulwarks and cabin bulkheads, then painted everything yesterday. Looks spiffy as hell. She's gonna splash on Thursday. So there.
I’ve been unsuccessful at talking my hubby into getting a boat, so instead of sanding, painting and sinking money into repairs, we pay for our boat rides on someone else’s schedule :( At least this last one we did some catching, so it wasn’t just a ride.
 

Dland

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I spent Saturday sanding the entire inside surface of the boat, deck, bulwarks and cabin bulkheads, then painted everything yesterday. Looks spiffy as hell. She's gonna splash on Thursday. So there.
Well, the Spireas (a flowering shrub) growing out of my boat's deck are coming into full bloom, and I don't think there are any raccoons living in it this year...
 

jrgtr42

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I don't have a boat of my own at this point, besides a kayak we picked up super cheap. But I'm listed on the paperwork as captain on my dad's boat - 28-foot sailboat. I was hoping to do the majority of work getting it ready for the water this year, anticipating a time that he can't do it himself anymore. Obviously that didn't happen, so next year it is.
We do also have a few "toy" boats- Laser, Laser 2 and Flying Junior, all of which are in decent shape, though elderly. So no work to be done.
 

Dland

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Nearly Mint, actually. Kind of a joke around my friends, as we knew a guy who optimistically described every free or nearly free old boat or old truck he came across as "nearly mint, just need a little work".

Maybe I should plant some mint in it too, but would not want to put it in a drink, boat is full of pealing lead paint.

Floibunda is better than Racoon Scat though.
 

day_trippr

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Lasers - at least I think that's what they were, but maybe Star class - were really popular club racers on the "Nawth Shaw" when I was a kid. My dad wanted something bigger so we bought an unfinished Lightning hull and built it up in his garage. When it was ready for launch I was all of 12 and eager as hell to see her on full sail. Dad decided to trailer launch on Wingaersheek Beach without paying any attention to the tide schedule. Anyone that's been on that beach knows it can be a mile walk at low tide to get from dry sand to waist deep water. So, not his best decision evah :D

Eventually he paid to launch out of the Beverly Yacht Club ramp and the rest is history. Lightnings are pretty quick 18' sloops as they were all canvas over stick frame builds and if you had the nerve and believed the back stays were truly solid you could even run a spinnaker and freak out the rest of the club ;)

Cheers!
 

Dland

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I raced lasers for a bit in my teens. My family were pretty gun hoe competitive sailors, raced mainly a local sloop designed in 1930s called Vineyard Haven 15s. A lot more boat than it sounds, 21 ft overall, w a 4' draft 900# lead keel. Closed deck, no cuddy, a wet sports car of a boat, designed for local high wind, choppy water racing, old style. We had the proto type, family still has one, last of the wooden ones. We also had and raced 470s, a two man boat w cable trapeze that could plane up wind. Never did race that boat without getting bloody. We got a Soling when the VH15s got phased out, and my brother went on to campaign for the Olympics in one of those.

I burned out on all that yacht club stuff and most of the competitive little brats by the time I was 16 and was content to work & teach sailing at my families boat rental, which was mostly sunfish at the time.

My sailing seance now is limited to with friends who have big old wooded boats with cabins and plenty of room for cold beer. Don't often find time for that sadly, get offers to join them regularly.

Old Nearly Mint is/was a 1957 Palmer Scott 22 bass boat, one of the first production fiberglass boats w oak frames. Hull is about a 1/4 inch thick, am told they had to be baked to cure the resin. Was in rough shape when I got her, over powered with a 350 crusader, which just made wake and used fuel. After she sunk on mooring, considered re powering with a Mercedes OM 616 or 617 diesel, but that window has past for me. Anyone want a "free" boat?
 

balrog

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I vacationed for years in Skaneateles where LIghtnings were born. My late FIL had one. Fun little boat.
 

Dland

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I remember an incedent, probably in the late '70s, when me & my brother were out in the harbor w incoming rollers and probably 35-40 knots out of one of the hurricanes that nearly missed, bending spars in a brand new boat out of the rental fleet. The coasties came by in a boat like that and hailed, told us to get home or something, when we assured them we had life jackets(we were wearing the nice ones that arn't an orange bulge), the guy on the horn said something to the affect of, whatever, your on your own. Of course they were right, , if we had lost it we would have been pounded to pieces on the breakwater in 5 or 10 min. Thrill seeking teens we were. Very stupid, but at least not high.
 

Dland

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Pretty sure the alternative to OK in this case is killed, looking back.
 
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paulthenurse

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No need to go out in nice weather.

Favorite rescue story...

Not a word of a lie...
1981 Morehead City NC

I was coxs’n of a 41 doing an expanding square search pattern looking for a guy in a RHIB. ( From a known or assumed last known position you figure out where the wind and current SHOULD push the boat then expand your search pattern from the LKP using the set and drift to guide your search.). On two legs of the search you’re going across the wind/waves, on one you’re going ‘uphill’ into the wind/waves, and one leg ‘downhill’ with the wind/waves. Downhill sucks. You have to go slow because you’re searching and the wind and waves pick up your stern and throws it wherever it feels like and you can’t do anything about it.

It was snotty as hell, typical Cape Lookout SW wind slop with about a ten foot swell. And I’m on a down hill leg, haven’t seen crap in two hours, get to the top of a swell, ride over the top and there he is. Right beneath me in the trough. I’m going to kill him. No doubt about it, he’s dead. I know it, the snipe and the deckie know it and the guy in the RHIB knows it.

I slam her hard into reverse, put the helm hard over and join into the general scream of “Oh SH!t” that the other three are already howling.

I missed him by a coat of paint. Buried the bow right next to him, his RHIB lurches over into the spot where my bow was a moment ago, the bow pops up and the RHIB and the guy are on my bow.

The deckie’s on the bow in a moment and hustles the guy into the cabin in a second. The guy looks at me and says ‘That was unbelievable. I thought I was dead! Increcible’l

And the engineer whispers in my ear “Did you sh!t your pants, cause I sure did?”

“You’re damn sure right I did!”
 
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Master

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Sounds like the time during Hurricane Bob I was off Manomet point in a 10' Zodiac with an 8 horse. This is to my day, the dumbest thing done in a boat. Considering I have done what could best be described as "drifting" with a 10,000 ton Ticonderoga Class CG, plus flying on and off of anything the Navy had that floated, in most anything that flew, it's pretty up there on the dumb stuff. You could only see the shore on the crest of the swell. If the spray let you.

How did I survive this long I wonder at times.
 

Dland

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Good ole Bob, remember him well. My youthful stupidity somewhat tempered, all I did in that one was drive from my parent's where I had boarded up some windows, to my rental in Gay Head (now Aquinna). A driving ban was in, but I wanted to get home to my girl friend. A decent sized locust fell across the road in front of me, but I had a chainsaw in my truck.

Spent the next two weeks clearing driveways and stuff for customers w no power or water in house where I lived. Might be one of the reasons I have a generator collection now.

The real doozie, waterfront wise, was the "no name northeaster" later that year, but that is another storm.
 

balrog

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I feel so sheltered to have never weathered a hurricane, having grown up in the foothills of E TN. Did have our fair share of lightning strikes within 100 yards when summer week long canoe camping on the TVA lake system. Of course we had outfitted our canoes, aluminum, with masts and lantern rigs, using metal conduit, so we really were just begging for a strike.
 

Dland

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Well, at least you had poisonous snakes, they make things interesting too.

I still keep thinking we are in for a big one, hurricane that is, a la 1938, with the warmer water temps. But the stratospheric winds have been tending to blow them into the Atlantic.
 

day_trippr

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What 300+ pounds of engine with a $100 lifting eye dangling from a $60 rental hoist looks like.

outboard_yank_2sm.jpg


But...mission accomplished! :ban:
Gonna take the whole kit out ponding tomorrow 'cuz it's gonna be toasty here!

Cheers!
 
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paulthenurse

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Oh quityerbitchin We all gotta die from sumptin. Getting crushed by your outboard might suck but it would make a hell of an obituary in the newspaper.

Who was the old relief pitcher for the Sox that died about tweny years ago when he was working on a truck in his driveway and the truck rolled off the jack and punched his ticket? Was that The Bird?

Not our Bird, he was alive as of a few days ago.
 

day_trippr

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Mark Fidrych. And, yeah, that was news for a few days. Not what I'm going for ;)

I'm all about safety. eg: I could have cheaped out and gotten the $50 lifting eye attachment, but that's only rated for the power head, not the entire engine.
At my age I'm not looking for drama...

Cheers!
 

balrog

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Drama became over rated when kids arrived
Then became less over rated when i hit 40
I have no excuse for the 20 odd years since
 
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