The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[max384]

Dear married guys whose wives have their balls in jars,

So sorry to hear

Sincerely,

I have my own ball jar

 

[Melana]

Dear I have my own ball jar,

Hope that works out for you.

Sincerely,
Good Luck.

 

[slym2none]

Dear everyone else,

Why can't you believe his wife is accepting of this?

Sincerely, I Believe You, Max

 

[LAHammer]

Dear ball jar,

Your balls are still in a jar.

Not necessarily a bad thing. You just don't want them to have to stay there. They need to get in her jar too!

I'm hopeful your relationship ship grows stronger - you need each other. Not two teams anymore.

Sincerely,
My balls are fine and I love being married

 

[max384]

Dear haters,

My wife and I aren't inexperienced 20-somethings (not that there's anything wrong with that, of course). We are both in our mid-thirties. We both have doctorate level educations, independent jobs, and have lived independent lives for a long time before meeting each other. We both have had failed relationships, and we both know what we want out of this successful one.

I realize that many of you have relationships that are different than mine, and that's fine. However, just because yours works a certain way, doesn't mean mine will too.

Sincerely,

Not every relationship is the same


P.S. One of my wedding photos:

 

[biochemedic]

Dear haters,

My wife and I aren't inexperienced 20-somethings (not that there's anything wrong with that, of course). We are both in our mid-thirties. We both have doctorate level educations, independent jobs, and have lived independent lives for a long time before meeting each other. We both have had failed relationships, and we both know what we want out of this successful one.

I realize that many of you have relationships that are different than mine, and that's fine. However, just because yours works a certain way, doesn't mean mine will too.

Sincerely,

Not every relationship is the same


P.S. One of my wedding photos:

Dear Not every,

Report back in 10 years...

Sincerely,
I hope you wear a helmet at least...

P.S. She's looking at something other than you are...

 

[slym2none]

Dear Not Every,

I wish you the best, and that is a lovely woman you have!

Sincerely, You're A Lucky Man

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear Not Every,
Don't sweat the haters. Some of us have figured it out the second time around. Along with finding partners who have no problems with us riding motorcycles, or mountain climbing, or other "risky" behavior, they also don't use or expect us to use terms like SWMBO, Man Cave, or Man Card. They also would never put up with us telling them what to do or not do either. Life is Good!
Sincerely,
Knows the difference between a partner and a jailer.

 

[Psylocide]

Dear peoples,

If I can save just one person from watching The Babadook, then this post will not have been made in vain.

I do not understand the love for this movie... every horror trope is present, nothing is "new" or "well-done" or whatever else people are saying... it's all just derivative drivel with a "symbolic" ending that makes absolutely no sense. Now, I don't need to be spoon-fed the complete details of what happened and why it happened and why it ended the way it did, but this was just a total stinker. Blindsided and made to have to ponder the stupid thing when it never delivered anything worth pondering over.

Sincerely,

1.5/5

 

[Newsman]

Dear Max384
Beautiful lady you got there. Does she have a sister?

Sincerely,
Tired of the single life

 

[max384]

Dear tired of the single life

She does have a sister. Her sister is getting married in February

Sincerely,

Give Match a try

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Work,

Why you so boring? Give me stuffs to draw that takes longer than 10 minutes.

Sincerely,
AutoDrafter3000

 

[Newsman]

Dear tired of the single life

She does have a sister. Her sister is getting married in February

Sincerely,

Give Match a try

Bummer.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear Give Match a try,
Are you aware how much crazy is on there? Whoo-boy.
Sincerely,
Believe me I have looked.

PS. I probably was one of the unstable ones as well.

 

[Newsman]

Dear Believe Me,
I know the feeling.... apparently you have to have a REALLY funny / catchy profile to get any responses.

Sincerely,
Tired of the single life

 

[Psylocide]

Dear Match Guys,

This is hilarious

http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-i-learned-from-worst-online-dating-profile-ever/

Sincerely,

I dunno, lighten the mood a bit or something.

 

[max384]

Dear believe me I have looked

I met my wife on Match... I had to wade through a few crazies first before I met her... Which is not unlike the offline local dating scene as well.

Trying to meet girls locally was tough on account of I don't go out much, and when I did go out, the girls were either much younger, or not the type I was looking for.

However, online dating was nice because I could set strict search parameters and narrow down the field. My pool was much smaller this way, but much more concentrated.

Sincerely,

Don't give up just yet

 

[SnakeRidge]

Dear Match Guys,

This is hilarious

http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-i-learned-from-worst-online-dating-profile-ever/

Sincerely,

I dunno, lighten the mood a bit or something.

Deer Lightning Mood,

That was seriously funny.

Sincerely,

I've met that chick, but it wasn't a joke.

 

[Beernik]

Dear Lightning The Mood,

That profile would have been perfect if she said "My favorite movie is Fatal Attraction, LOL".

Sincerely,

You can't fix crazy

 

[LAHammer]

Dear Max,
Nicely done.
Sincerely,
Got better than I deserve the 2nd time

 

[Beernik]

Dear Child of Mine,

Why?

I just want to know "Why?"

Why did you shave off the outside 1/4" of each eyebrow?

Why did you try to convince me that it happened when you fell down at school? You can't fall down and symmetrically scrape off both eyebrows.

Sincerely,

Confused Father

 

[Colorowdy]

Dear red headed step child,
You are the starting first base guy on your team. You are a freshman.
Why?
Why do you hate your girlfriend is going on this trip?
Is it because it's boys time?
Sincerely confused father....
P.S. It was absolutely hilarious when your catcher walked up to me and said " He's gonna get laid."
P.S.S. Use a rubber.

 

[Colorowdy]

Dear another post to my red headed step child,
Every kid on your team is jealous of you.
Signed keep it in your pants.

 

[max384]

Dear Prague

I can't keep up with your crazy night life.

Sincerely,

Not in my twenties any longer

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear guy who hacked a digital billboard and put up Goatse instead,

You are my hero.

Sincerely,
Needed the laugh.

Dear people who don't know what Goatse is,

DON'T LOOK IT UP. MAJOR **** AND MAY MAKE YOU THROW UP.

Sincerely,
I warned you.

 

[SnakeRidge]

Dear I warned you,

He warned you.

Sincerely,
I'm warning you too

 

[Zepth]

Dear internet users,
Obey my command! It is for your own protection.
Sincerely,
Warnings.

 

[Renegades_Brew]

Dear Body,

Thank you for being kind to me from this weekend. I know the 26 hour shift of work wasn't what you are used to nor was the less than 10 hours sleep total for the whole weekend. Somehow monday came and you were perfectly fine to go back to the normal early morning wake up and daily routine.

Sincerely,
Surprised and relieved.

 

[slym2none]

Dear beer that's been in my FV for 25 days,

Please be done fermenting!

Signed, No Hydrometer

 

[1977Brewer]

Dear beer that's been in my FV for 25 days,

Please be done fermenting!

Signed, No Hydrometer

Dear No Hydrometer,

At 25 days, unless we're talking a rally big beer, you're golden.

Signed,

I Only Ferment for 2 Weeks