The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[sloanfamilydsm]

Dear Taste Buds,

Thank you for allowing me to still taste my beer and not have to hop the hell out of it to impart flavor.

Sincerely
Enjoyer of Malt Flavored Beer

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear Butt,
I'm sorry I decimated you.

Sincerely, To Many Bottles Of Oxygen And Welding Gas

Dear WTF Are You Babbling About,

What?!?

Sincerely,
Butt

 

[geoffey]

Dear IPA haters,

Stop hatin' on hop heads just because you don't like hops. We don't give you a hard time for being only into malt do we? Do you really feel better about yourself because you think you have a more "refined" pallet? Sheesh.

Sincerely,

Fan of many beer styles




Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[Dopeybrew]

Dear Beer,

How can I be so thirsty this morning after drinking so many of you last night?

Sincerely,
Hungover

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear IPA haters,

Stop hatin' on hop heads just because you don't like hops. We don't give you a hard time for being only into malt do we? Do you really feel better about yourself because you think you have a more "refined" pallet? Sheesh.

Sincerely,

Fan of many beer styles




Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

Dear IPA lovers,

Pass me another beer.

Sincerely,
Where's My Beer?

 

[BGBC]

Dear yeast,
Keep doing your thing.

Sincerely,
A grateful homebrewer

 

[906_brewer]

Dear Big Man,

Please stop beating me like I owe you money.

Sincerely, Your Little Man

 

[sconsi]

Dear beerfest/Oktoberfest bathroom campers and 'grunters':

If I wanted to wait 10 minutes to hit the head I'd get in the ladies' line.

Sincerely,
People with fiber in their diets

Dear beerfest/Oktoberfest campers and grunters,

Why are you taking a dump at a beer festival? That's just poor planning.

Sincerely,
Someone with hygiene

 

[Komocabo]

Dear New Brewers,

It's ok. You don't need to secondary.

Sincerely,
Guy with one fermenter

 

[Zepth]

Dear bathtub of cold water,

We've had some good times together. We've made some quality beer. Unfortunately you're holding back my potential. I think it's time for me to move on. Don't blame yourself, you've done your very best.

Sincerely,
Guy with immersion cooler in the mail.

 

[Fedora]

Dear WTF Are You Babbling About,

What?!?

Sincerely,
Butt

Dear Every Welder Eventually,

I am coming for you. You can not hide. I will find you.

Sincerely, Hemorrhoids

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear MSDS,

You really need to list hemorrhoids as a side effect of using welding rod and/or welding wire. Obviously it comes from the smoke produced.

Sincerely,
FOX News

 

[PackerfaninSanDiego]

Dear Bears Fans,
Your team still sucks.
Sincerely, PFISD

 

[Malted_hops]

Dear overly ambitious brewer,

We regretfully must decline accepting the position of taste test dummy for your latest creation. While we assume somebody may like it, the thought of your pumpkin/ coriander/ vanilla/ pomegranate/ kumquat (yes, it's really fermented in a kumquat) with musk ox bladder secondary beer made us throw up a little in our mouths.

Sincerely,
Reinheitsgebot Enforcement Department

 

[orangehero]

Dear Beer!

Sincerely!

 

[SmokeyMcBong]

Dear penis,

I don't think I like you anymore.

You used to watch me shave, now all you do is stare at the floor.

Dear Rodney,

I don't think I like you anymore

'cuz when ya gets to drinkin, you put me places I've never been before.

 

[geoffey]

Dear Adrian Peterson Jersey,

You'll not be seeing the outside of my closet anytime soon, perhaps ever.

Sincerely,

Sad Vikings fan


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[Colorowdy]

Dear girl that tolerates me,
Last weekend was phenomenal.
Also thank you for letting me neglect you to play with my stupid toys.
Now that I think about it thank you for helping me bottle today.
Sincerely your *******

 

[sconsi]

Dear Bears Fans,
Your team still sucks.
Sincerely, PFISD

Dear Packers Fans,
The record is 93–89–6, Bears. Make sure that you do a Discount Double Check on your smack talk next time. Maybe all the cheese has skewed your thought process.

Sincerely,
A Bears Fan

 

[Zwerski]

Dear Friends,

Your beer consumption effort at my wife's birthday party was above my expectations. Thank you for clearing out my back stock and freeing up empties. I now have guaranteed bottling capacity for at least my next two brews.

Sincerely,
-Jason


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[WinterWarrior]

Dear Neighbor I Barely Know With a Laptop Problem,

Just because we live on the same street and you know I'm a computer geek doesn't mean that you can expect me to answer all your lame-a$$ computer questions or fix your f-'ed up computer for free.

Pay me or fix it yourself.

Sincerely,
Don't Piss Me Off, I Will Hack Every Account You Own

 

[PackerfaninSanDiego]

Dear Packers Fans,
The record is 93–89–6, Bears. Make sure that you do a Discount Double Check on your smack talk next time. Maybe all the cheese has skewed your thought process.

Sincerely,
A Bears Fan

Dear Delusional Bear Fans,
We sucked back in the 80's when Dan Devine and Bart Starr were coaching. Ever since 1994 we have taken over the NFC North and since then, that's when you began to really suck. Hope you don't get embarrassed to bad tonite.

Sincerely, PFISD
p.s. The Bears Still Suck!

 

[geoffey]

Dear Bears Fan,

There is no point in talking sense with a Packers fan. Many of them have no brains and therefore aren't capable of logical thinking.


Sincerely,

Vikings Fans everywhere






Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[sconsi]

Dear Delusional Bear Fans,
We sucked back in the 80's when Dan Devine and Bart Starr were coaching. Ever since 1994 we have taken over the NFC North and since then, that's when you began to really suck. Hope you don't get embarrassed to bad tonite.

Sincerely, PFISD
p.s. The Bears Still Suck!

Dear Cheese-Brained Packers Fan,
As per usual, it is pointless to argue with the brainwashed cult of Lombardi. Obviously the cold, cheese, and sausage of Wisconsin have affected your ability to reason (and your ability to use correct spelling and grammar). Your team was good in the 60s, you were good in the 90s, and you're OK at present. Unfortunately for you, the "legends" of your team--Vince Lombardi and Brett Farve--are mere ants in the shadow of the true gods of football: George Halas, Sid Luckman, Gale Sayers, Mike Ditka, Mike Singletary, and the god among men Walter Payton. I would continue, but the long list would probably crash the server. Your team may pay NFL commentators to sing your praises, but sorry, everyone else hates you more than Ray Rice.

Sincerely,
A Bears Fan

 

[Brettomomyces]

Dear gut,

No matter how much spicy food I throw at you, you never seem to get used to it. Why?

Sincerely,

White Irish guy who should have been born Thai/Mexican

 

[PackerfaninSanDiego]

Dear sconsi,
All you can do is bring up the past about your suckass team? Then I am done with you.

Sincerely, PFISD
p.s....your team sucks so bad

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear Hand Egg Fans,

Your game is lame. And the fact that they all wear spandex, grapple one another, and then shower together afterward could leave Freud talking for hours on the subject.

Sincerely,
Your Subconscious

 

[sconsi]

Dear sconsi,
All you can do is bring up the past about your suckass team? Then I am done with you.

Sincerely, PFISD
p.s....your team sucks so bad

Dear PFISD,
Ooooooo, I seem to have struck a nerve. You're done with me? Allow me to express my feeling with a picture.

Sincerely,
sconsi

p.s. I will enjoy watching the Packers redefine the meaning of the word suck.

 

[Natdavis777]

Dear Rodney,



I don't think I like you anymore



'cuz when ya gets to drinkin, you put me places I've never been before.

Why can we just get a grip on our man to hand relationship


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear Sports Fans,
Unless you're a player, you're a spectator, and have no business bragging about your team. Put up or shut up. Get off the effing couch and out from behind your big screen TVs and start LIVING your life instead of watching someone else's.
Sincerely,
The guy who has no time or patience for spectators.