The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

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Dear Neighbor I Barely Know With a Laptop Problem,

Just because we live on the same street and you know I'm a computer geek doesn't mean that you can expect me to answer all your lame-a$$ computer questions or fix your f-'ed up computer for free.

Pay me or fix it yourself.

Sincerely,
Don't Piss Me Off, I Will Hack Every Account You Own
 
sconsi said:
Dear Packers Fans,
The record is 93–89–6, Bears. Make sure that you do a Discount Double Check on your smack talk next time. Maybe all the cheese has skewed your thought process.

Sincerely,
A Bears Fan
Click to expand...

Dear Delusional Bear Fans,
We sucked back in the 80's when Dan Devine and Bart Starr were coaching. Ever since 1994 we have taken over the NFC North and since then, that's when you began to really suck. Hope you don't get embarrassed to bad tonite.

Sincerely, PFISD
p.s. The Bears Still Suck!
 
Dear Bears Fan,

There is no point in talking sense with a Packers fan. Many of them have no brains and therefore aren't capable of logical thinking.


Sincerely,

Vikings Fans everywhere






Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
 
PackerfaninSanDiego said:
Dear Delusional Bear Fans,
We sucked back in the 80's when Dan Devine and Bart Starr were coaching. Ever since 1994 we have taken over the NFC North and since then, that's when you began to really suck. Hope you don't get embarrassed to bad tonite.

Sincerely, PFISD
p.s. The Bears Still Suck!
Click to expand...

Dear Cheese-Brained Packers Fan,
As per usual, it is pointless to argue with the brainwashed cult of Lombardi. Obviously the cold, cheese, and sausage of Wisconsin have affected your ability to reason (and your ability to use correct spelling and grammar). Your team was good in the 60s, you were good in the 90s, and you're OK at present. Unfortunately for you, the "legends" of your team--Vince Lombardi and Brett Farve--are mere ants in the shadow of the true gods of football: George Halas, Sid Luckman, Gale Sayers, Mike Ditka, Mike Singletary, and the god among men Walter Payton. I would continue, but the long list would probably crash the server. Your team may pay NFL commentators to sing your praises, but sorry, everyone else hates you more than Ray Rice.

Sincerely,
A Bears Fan
 
Dear sconsi,
All you can do is bring up the past about your suckass team? Then I am done with you.

Sincerely, PFISD
p.s....your team sucks so bad
 
PackerfaninSanDiego said:
Dear sconsi,
All you can do is bring up the past about your suckass team? Then I am done with you.

Sincerely, PFISD
p.s....your team sucks so bad
Click to expand...

Dear PFISD,
Ooooooo, I seem to have struck a nerve. You're done with me? Allow me to express my feeling with a picture.
jay-cutler-dont-care.jpg

Sincerely,
sconsi

p.s. I will enjoy watching the Packers redefine the meaning of the word suck.
 
Dear Sports Fans,
Unless you're a player, you're a spectator, and have no business bragging about your team. Put up or shut up. Get off the effing couch and out from behind your big screen TVs and start LIVING your life instead of watching someone else's.
Sincerely,
The guy who has no time or patience for spectators.
 
Dear The guy who has no time or patience for spectators,

My team won.

Sincerely,
Phillip Rivers

P.S. Suck is Sea-birdies.
 
Dear Qualcomm Stadium,

Thanks for running out of water at half time for the 100 degree game.

Sincerely,

Sun burned from Seattle
 
Dear Self Righteous Ass Who Doesn't have Time for Spectators,

C'mon, now people can't be sports fans and cheer for their favorite teams? Don't be a ******. If you don't like sports then fine. No one is asking you to. Because I cheer for my team you assume I never get up off the couch? Get over yourself. Personally I don't trust people who aren't sports fans. Something always seems wrong with them.

Sincerely,

Sports fan


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
 
geoffey said:
Dear Self Righteous Ass Who Doesn't have Time for Spectators,

C'mon, now people can't be sports fans and cheer for their favorite teams? Don't be a ******. If you don't like sports then fine. No one is asking you to. Because I cheer for my team you assume I never get up off the couch? Get over yourself. Personally I don't trust people who aren't sports fans. Something always seems wrong with them.

Sincerely,

Sports fan


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
Click to expand...
Dear Sports Fan,

like what, son? what's wrong with us?

I know exactly what Black Island is talking about. we've got guys at work that say "we" when referring to anything about their favorite team. "we're hoping to take this other team because we've been blah blah blah..." you ain't on the team. you're not a coach. you are a fan, and that's all.

Sincerely,
Happy Floccin' Birthday
 
Trox said:
Dear Customers,

You are almost never RIGHT.

Sincerely,
Every Retail/Food Service/Customer Service Employee
Click to expand...

Dear Employee,

Your capitalization/emphasis is wrong. You meant to write, "You are almost NEVER right."

Sincerely,

A Customer
 
Dear Scele,

Better get ahold of the thread you started. It's falling apart fast!

Sincerely,

Guy who used to like this thread more than the "where can I find a good rack" thread.
 
Billy-Klubb said:
Dear Sports Fan,



like what, son? what's wrong with us?



I know exactly what Black Island is talking about. we've got guys at work that say "we" when referring to anything about their favorite team. "we're hoping to take this other team because we've been blah blah blah..." you ain't on the team. you're not a coach. you are a fan, and that's all.



Sincerely,

Happy Floccin' Birthday
Click to expand...


No, I get what you're saying. Obnoxious sports fans are incredibly annoying, and yes, the "we" talk can get ridiculous. But I don't take well to being put down for simply being a sports fan or the suggestion that all sports fans don't really LIVE.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
 
Singletrack said:
Dear Employee,

Your capitalization/emphasis is wrong. You meant to write, "You are almost NEVER right."

Sincerely,

A Customer
Click to expand...

Dear Customer,

Once again you are wrong; as usual, my emphasis is correct. You silly customers always like to put that emphasis on the word "right"; as if that would make your silly notion correct.

Sincerely,
An Employee
 
Dear Sportsfans
I suggest making a thread for instance "Why me wearing different make-up and having another man's name on my back is better than the make-up you're wearing and the name of the man you have on your back" or perhaps "Why my brand of vicarious living and pseudo-tribalism is better than your brand of vicarious living and pseudo-tribalism".

Nevermind, there is one already https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/obnoxious-football-trash-talk-thread-132203/

Sincerely
Thread starter.
 
Dear Yuppie in the Modern car that I'm trying to pass,
I'm in an antique car and I'm trying to pass you on Route 2 - take it like a man and move the hell over. I like driving the speed limit damnit! Don't speed up and make like you know how to drive because you fear i'm going to slow you down.
Sincerely,
The driver of the big green car that almost wrecked because you decided to speed up.
 
Dear Guy who thinks he has more work ethic,
Worry about yourself, if I have a headache, so be it, my time is my time.
Sincerely, You know who.
 
Scele said:
Dear Sportsfans
I suggest making a thread for instance "Why me wearing different make-up and having another man's name on my back is better than the make-up you're wearing and the name of the man you have on your back" or perhaps "Why my brand of vicarious living and pseudo-tribalism is better than your brand of vicarious living and pseudo-tribalism".

Nevermind, there is one already https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/obnoxious-football-trash-talk-thread-132203/

Sincerely
Thread starter.
Click to expand...


Dear OP,

Thank you for starting a rant thread and then ranting about what topics others rant about. :)

Sincerely,

Someone who has abused this thread to much


Sent from my iPad using Home Brew
 
Dear HBT Hit and Runner,

We do appreciate your enthusiastic participation in threads that are important to us. But remember how you said you were going to try such and such, and run a series of experiments on this and that, and consult with some muckety muck on the latest applicable research, and then REPORT BACK? Well, we're still waiting!

Sincerely,

Can't Brew… Until We Hear From You
 
geoffey said:
Dear OP,

Thank you for starting a rant thread and then ranting about what topics others rant about. :)

Sincerely,

Someone who has abused this thread to much


Sent from my iPad using Home Brew
Click to expand...

Dear Participant in my awesome thread,
I wouldn't have ranted about it except that they ranted about a topic where the question was "Which team has the most dickish fans" and the answer will always be "all of them".

Sincerely
Anti-sports person.
 
Also
Dear person who said they'd come over to try some of my beer but didn't show.

Thank you.
Sincerely
Someone who has more beer left.
 

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