Alright, so last night SWMBO proved why she is in fact SWMBO. As I was racking my brain trying to figure out what I could use to make a chrome sorta appearance she suggested aluminum foil...
"ALUMINUM FOIL!?!?!", I thought

"How the hell is aluminum foil going to go on this thing and last more than 30 seconds before it rips apart."
She had an idea so we ran a little "proof of concept" experiment with some scrap wood.
We wadded a sheet of foil up into a ball and then unrolled it to give it some texture, applied a skim coat of Liquid Nails (shocker) to the board and pressed the foil into place. Then I sprayed about 6 coats of Krylon Fusion Clear over the foil in an attempt to protect the surface and add some rigidity to the whole thing.
To my surprise it actually worked! (that weird milky look is from the clear coat drying... it goes away.)
As the thing was drying I would pick at it with my fingernail to try to break pieces off every now and then. After about 4 hours or so the thing was pretty solid. It took a really good amount of effort to break through and rip the foil. I even spent a couple minutes bashing a pint glass against it trying to mimic the wear it would actually take. Held up like a champ.
So at this point I was pretty pumped already that it seemed like this concept was actually practical though I was slightly worried about what would happen when the foil would end up getting ripped as I drunkenly smashed into it while filling a pint. I didn't want my keezer to end up looking like that photo above. The wife came through again as she found out this stuff can pretty much be patched without detection. This photo is that same board with some pieces of foil patching all those holes I made. I was pretty impressed.