SWMBO Woes

[skadalajara]

Man, I guess I must be lucky.
I'm divorced and staying that way. I simply can't get along with someone that long.
I've been with my current girlfriend for almost 3 years cos we don't live together and never will. And we both swear we'll never reproduce.
My housemates (one of whom is the owner of the house) wish I would brew more. As do I. I even have half the garage to use as a brewpub. Now I just need to finish the repairs to my daily driver so I can get back to brewing.

 

[IrregularPulse]

For what it's worth, my wife and I have a budgeting system that has worked out really well. We have 3 checking accounts:

1) Joint Account
2) My 'Fun' Account
3) Her 'Fun' Account

Our respective paychecks both dump into the Joint Account where we pay the bills, groceries, trips, outings both of us attend -- essentially the bulk of our spending and anything we both agree on. Then we each get a certain amount automatically transferred to our respective Fun accounts each month. The rule being that you cannot question what the other person spends their fun money on at all. I spend mine mainly on brewing and going out w/ the guys. She spends hers on girl time and purses/shoes.

Since she drinks some of my homebrew, I get to brew one 5 gallon batch a month on the joint account as well -- but all the equipment and any excess brewing comes out of my fun account.

This system has worked great for us both, we NEVER have financial arguments and we both get to do what we want, within reason. I'd highly recommend it to this scenario.

Regardless, good luck!

This is pretty much exactly what we do.
Same 3 accounts.
Agreed 1 5G (although I'm migrating them to 10Gers) a month from Joint account
All gadgetry and extras "needed" for brewing come from my fun account.
Allthough I've been able to to scrounge some of my kegerator build from the joint account...She pulls the handle as much as I do!.....and she bought me the co2 tank for christmas

Unfortunately with cutbacks at work and pay reductions, personal accounts having taken a back burner for now and of course mine is dry from spending it as soon as I get it. But oh well. I can still brew 10G batches without much work.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Hell man grow ONE !

He did you dufus.

That's the problem. He has an infant that is top priority right now!

SWMBO will mellow with time (AKA: Not Spaz-out). As said numerous times already; having a budget and planning a brew schedule will correct this whole situation.

 

[Chupacabras]

Give me liberty or give me death!

Here's another reason to add to the never getting married or reproducing list.

 

[SmugMug]

Not to stir the pot any further, but there seem to be a lot of bitter, defensive brewers here.

I'm over it.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Not to stir the pot any further, but there seem to be a lot of bitter, defensive brewers here.

I'm over it.

Hey!! I'm a bitter brewer!! I loves me a nice pint of bitter!!!


Oh, I see what you mean now.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Give me liberty or give me death!

Here's another reason to add to the never getting married or reproducing list.

Sooooo you're a DIYer. Keep on wackin' your stump. You know best how to do it man!!!

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

SWMBO and I had a discussion on our finances this morning. We need to seriously cut back on our spending. She was quick to tell me that she does not think our hobbies should be included in the new budget......I knew there was a reason I married her!

 

[anemic]

*There is always too much emphasis on sacrifice, not enough on the countless gains one enjoys from SWMBO's and children. My quality of life is much higher than it would be were I single. (no offense to anyone - marriage is truly not everybody's cup of tea, just as I could not take singleness)

*SmugMug's fridge question answered: forget dorm fridge, go straight to a CraigsList brand deep freezer (or standup fridge) with a temp controller on it. You will need to bottle condition those bottles at correct fermentation temps anyway. Freezers are available in a variety of sizes, so they needn't be size XL. How will you bottle condition those two summer season brews without one?

*Encourage SWMBO to sample your products. It engenders "Buy In" Do your best to dial in a beer for her

*Your turkey fryer doubles as a Seafood Boiler (using a different kettle of course) - what SWMBO wouldn't love a lobster boil eh? You aren't boiling in the house are ya mate? That could definitely create SWMBO friction. Bad technique. It stinks bad! I love beer but even I don't like wort smell.

*I like the cut of your jib too SmugMug, well done. Are you a sailor too?

*This hobby is really fun to share with the kids. I show them the science / biology of the yeast starters. They enjoy spending some time with me bottling. They give the bottle a quick toweling and insert them into the boxes while we chat. I show them the bubbling airlocks and overflowing blowoff setups. My 8 yr old enjoyed chillering with me.

*Lowe's has 25' of 1/4" copper for icemakers for $8.39. A couple hose clamps, some tubing, a hose adapator, bam - chiller.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Ah yes, the fridge.....I'd been laying out feelers with the missus a while back about getting a fridge for a fermentation chamber. A couple of weeks later she pointed out one in the newspaper for $200. I thought WTF!? Hell, I was thinking more of a price that was a LOT closer to free than that!! I declined on that fridge, but it seems that even when they seem to be moaning about the cost of this, the price of that, They are still looking out for ya.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Not to stir the pot any further, but there seem to be a lot of bitter, defensive brewers here.

I'm over it.

No, I think there are some lazy ones that read the first 3 posts and then posted a knee-jerk comment.

I think its common for the ladies to not whole-heartedly approve of this hobby. They come around eventually. Many brewers are so passionate about this that they can't take anyone saying "No". I'm one of them. I just decided to give advice rather than to criticize.

My wife didn't like it as first, but now I get cash gifts for my hobby at every birthday and xmas. She is ok with it now. She sees how much I enjoy it so there is no point to try and deny me of the activity.

 

[SmugMug]

I can't go too big on the fridge/freezer get-up. If there's ANY free space, SWMBO will overtake it with food! Need something that fits the bill JUST right! Actually, I may look for a side-by-side that can fit the fermenter. She can have the freezer and I keep the fridge. Think Lowes would mind if I brought in my ale pale for size shopping??

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

It helps a lot for me now that I have gone AG and have taken other steps to greatly reduce the cost of ingredients. Things changed drastically for me when I could show her that I cold brew 10 gallons for $25. Pretty soon I hope to have that down to $18-$20 per 10gals

Once I have finished buying new equipment (Yes, I CAN stop, I can! I can!) Then it will all be pretty much plain sailing, I hope.

 

[anemic]

I can't go too big on the fridge/freezer get-up. If there's ANY free space, SWMBO will overtake it with food! Need something that fits the bill JUST right! Actually, I may look for a side-by-side that can fit the fermenter. She can have the freezer and I keep the fridge. Think Lowes would mind if I brought in my ale pale for size shopping??

Way to make it work for ya! The warmest fridge setting may be a touch cooler than ideal but it's a great step in the right direction. Seriously - cruise CL for a couple days. Things are almost free there.

 

[conpewter]

I can't go too big on the fridge/freezer get-up. If there's ANY free space, SWMBO will overtake it with food! Need something that fits the bill JUST right! Actually, I may look for a side-by-side that can fit the fermenter. She can have the freezer and I keep the fridge. Think Lowes would mind if I brought in my ale pale for size shopping??

I bought a full size fridge that had a freezer on top. It is my kegorator but my wife does love the extra freezer space it gives us. Some is taken up by the yeast bank and hops, but still a lot of room there for foodstuffs.

 

[Schlenkerla]

I bought a full size fridge that had a freezer on top. It is my kegorator but my wife does love the extra freezer space it gives us. Some is taken up by the yeast bank and hops, but still a lot of room there for foodstuffs.

I have the same thing! How many taps?

 

[lehr]

He did you dufus.

That's the problem. He has an infant that is top priority right now!

SWMBO will mellow with time (AKA: Not Spaz-out). As said numerous times already; having a budget and planning a brew schedule will correct this whole situation.

AHH THATS MR.DUFUS !

 

[Corey_James]

No need to bring the pail with you, the 5 gallon buckets are about the same size; use those and they are already at the store waiting for you to carry it around and try. Congrats on the kid and have fun being a parent.

I can't go too big on the fridge/freezer get-up. If there's ANY free space, SWMBO will overtake it with food! Need something that fits the bill JUST right! Actually, I may look for a side-by-side that can fit the fermenter. She can have the freezer and I keep the fridge. Think Lowes would mind if I brought in my ale pale for size shopping??

 

[culaslucas]

I know I'm responding to this thread pretty late in the process and I have to confess, I haven't read it all..

but I cannot believe it when I hear stories like this who have significant others who don't support your hobby. Jesus Christ, it's a freaking hobby - what is the big deal doing something to stimulate your life from the mundane everyday that we all have to go through?

Now if you're sloppy and keep the house a mess because of brewing or overspend or whatever, I can understand that. But I would simply not allow somebody to make a blanket 'rule' for when I brew.

Unbelievable.

 

[SmugMug]

I know I'm responding to this thread pretty late in the process and I have to confess, I haven't read it all..

but I cannot believe it when I hear stories like this who have significant others who don't support your hobby. Jesus Christ, it's a freaking hobby - what is the big deal doing something to stimulate your life from the mundane everyday that we all have to go through?

Now if you're sloppy and keep the house a mess because of brewing or overspend or whatever, I can understand that. But I would simply not allow somebody to make a blanket 'rule' for when I brew.

Unbelievable.

Nice knee-jerk reaction there.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

What the hell is it about this thread that has brought about so much negativity? We've had a ton of similar threads in the past just like this one that have always been a source of good natured ribbing and fun!

 

[stevenryals]

do no more than 2 batches per season.

no worries man..


summer
winter
spring
fall
Soccer Season
baseball season
hockey season
football season
duck hunting season
deer hunting season
tennis season
tomatoe season
cabbage season
bananna season
rugby season


there are hundreds more.. you're fine..

 

[Schlenkerla]

I know I'm responding to this thread pretty late in the process and I have to confess, I haven't read it all..

but I cannot believe it when I hear stories like this who have significant others who don't support your hobby. Jesus Christ, it's a freaking hobby - what is the big deal doing something to stimulate your life from the mundane everyday that we all have to go through?

Now if you're sloppy and keep the house a mess because of brewing or overspend or whatever, I can understand that. But I would simply not allow somebody to make a blanket 'rule' for when I brew.

Unbelievable.

Nice knee-jerk reaction there.

I 2nd the knee-jerk. All in favor of the knee-jerk say "Aye".

 

[TeufelBrew]

/non knee jerk/ My wife does regret getting me the Coopers kit as a gift a year and a half ago. It has created some issues with money a couple of times and kicked in her extreme fear of alcoholism that's rampant in both sides of her family.

Other than that, she's resigned herself to my brewing and I work hard to make it as unobtrusive as I can. I communicate brew schedules and ask for her input on what to have on tap. If scheduling conflicts for some reason, I usually change brewing because I'm the only one impacted by it. Family things come first, it's not hard.

As for the money I spend, she doesn't complain any more, but most of the big ticket stuff is done. Most of the money spent now is for ingredients.

Spend some time talking with her about what you get out of brewing, why you enjoy it and let her see the positive impact it has on you. Can't stress enough how much of an impact simply communicating has on any issue.

Best of luck and hope it all works well for your family.

 

[conpewter]

I have the same thing! How many taps?

First fridge only had one tap. This one won't have any, instead it has a hole in the side (currently only for Co2) but this summer's project is two PVC pipes going up to the kitchen, 3 perlick taps up there plus the soda wand. The return pipe is for the PC fan to run back in with to circulate cool air, keeping the lines chilled. Pipes will be well insulated.

 

[SmugMug]

First fridge only had one tap. This one won't have any, instead it has a hole in the side (currently only for Co2) but this summer's project is two PVC pipes going up to the kitchen, 3 perlick taps up there plus the soda wand. The return pipe is for the PC fan to run back in with to circulate cool air, keeping the lines chilled. Pipes will be well insulated.

How much do you charge for labor if I supply the parts?

 

[bieb9er]

I am a really lucky man. I got my beginners brewing kit for Christmas 2008. Since then i have built a kegerator with a three tap setup, i got a beer gun, all the bottles i could ever use, a secondary carboy, and i have brewed 9 batches of beer. My SWMBO is just happy that i have something that i love to do.

 

[conpewter]

How much do you charge for labor if I supply the parts?

Pay for the plane ticket and a place to stay, some beer... we'd be good!

 

[SmugMug]

Pay for the plane ticket and a place to stay, some beer... we'd be good!

I'll pay for the gas and a night at the local Microtel. The latest batch will be conditioned by next weekend (I hope).

I can make it to Chicago in 7hrs from here. I can get to my SWMBO's grandparent's place in Toledo in about 12hrs. Nice scenery down I-65. Very smooth sailing from Indy down. But to save a little $$ and to keep you from having to visit the buckle of the bible belt, I'll just start putting my grandiose ideas on paper and pricing things out. can't do it until we get a bigger house anyway.

 

[conpewter]

I'll pay for the gas and a night at the local Microtel. The latest batch will be conditioned by next weekend (I hope).

I can make it to Chicago in 7hrs from here. I can get to my SWMBO's grandparent's place in Toledo in about 12hrs. Nice scenery down I-65. Very smooth sailing from Indy down. But to save a little $$ and to keep you from having to visit the buckle of the bible belt, I'll just start putting my grandiose ideas on paper and pricing things out. can't do it until we get a bigger house anyway.

Save up some, get a little cash and get into a bigger house before prices start to go up again, then figure out what all you want to do with it. It may already have a basement bar