SWMBO Woes

[JesseRC]

that's actually from an old thread of his, he was trying to make a point, that if you post on HBT you will get responses, and basically don't take it personal. Someday on a brewday , you will have a concern, and emergency even, and HBT will come through with respsonses. On the old post, he posted that, and there was quite the contributions of ideas on how to capture a fart .

 

[Yankeehillbrewer]

Congrats on the baby!!

Not being a parent(nor do I want to be) I can't imagine the level of anxiety that you and wifey are probably feeling. But it does make sense that she is probaly "freaking" a little. It would seem that, that will dwindle in time, as others have said.

I've been married for a little over 15 years, and I have found that it is very important that each person have their own hobby, which you have. It's equally important that each person doesn't dictate what the other does in that hobby, considering that everything is done reasonably, and doesn't affect the needs of the family.

My wife's hobby/passion is Horse's. We have two of the little bastards, and they consume a ton of money. She realizes that, and never has a comment for me when it comes to brewing, accept for the occasional remark about the smell. She even tries to push me to start playing golf again.

With all that said, I think once things settle with the baby and you get into your routine, you should politely inform wifey of your brewing schedule and that it's not up for discussion. Once every 3 weeks sounds fair to me, should keep the pipeline full enough.

Best of luck!!

 

[SmugMug]

I had to ask you know. One day my son may ask if it's possible and it's my responsibility to have the answer. Just trying to be prepared. Not to mention it would be a neat party trick with the right audience.

My wife likes to make corned beef and cabbage. One day I said "Hon, do you really think that smell better than when I make beer?" She blinked, stared off into the distance looking for a good answer and I just walked away with a satisfied grin. I wonder if she'll be making anymore corned beef and cabbage in the near future? I think that may be my best barometer for making any future beer inside.

 

[IrregularPulse]

i Told SWMBO I plan on brewing once a month. But she doesn't realize (it's amzing how oblivious they can be about something they don't care about) Is that I'm sneaking my way into 10G batches. Did one this past weekend for an event, doing two more 10G batches in a couple weeks for a summer party, then I'll just continue on as normal. What? It's always been this much. Where have you been?

 

[sundaybrewingco]

That's hilarious; I get more comments about the DeLorean pic than anything else in the cave. Maybe I'll put it on eBay.

Everyone should have a framed DeLorean picture in their man-cave. You might have started a revolution... :rockin:

 

[Trubadour]

I have a new son being born in July... you can bet he will be in the pack and play hanging with dad while I brew in July :rockin:

It is a family affair.

I have a 6 month old boy, and he's with me most of the time when I'm brewing. We hang out and have guy time in the garage. It's hard for my wife to complain about that.

Another good idea is to work out in the garage and get it all cleaned up and organized. Make it look better with your beer gear in there than it did with all the other crap before.

Congrats, by the way, to everyone with new / upcoming kids. Include them in your brewing and SWMBO will (should) be happy.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

OK, Gnome is posting regularly to this thread. Then, at 10:17 a question about farts comes up. Gnome is quiet until 12:49, and comes back with a sketch depicting how to catch farts in a jar. Did he google it, consult a third grade boy, or does it just take him that long to use MSPaint?

I had to go to work. I have an enviably short work day.

That also explains why I have so much time to mess arond wit juvenile fart diagrams.

My gain is your loss!

 

[beerkrump]

I gotta hook you up with my 9 year old boy. He wants to know if you can get multiple jars from one fart? Partigyle farting?

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I gotta hook you up with my 9 year old boy. He wants to know if you can get multiple jars from one fart? Partigyle farting?

Simple he just needs to start with one huge fart in a large jar. That fart can be decanted underwater using the same method. Just replace the anus in the diagram with a large jar full of fart.

Glad I cold help!

 

[SmugMug]

Simple he just needs to start with one huge fart in a large jar. That fart can be decanted underwater using the same method. Just replace the anus in the diagram with a large jar full of fart.

Glad I cold help!

100% pure awesome. At least in hypothetical terms. Have you personally applied this theory?

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

100% pure awesome. At least in hypothetical terms. Have you personally applied this theory?

Only when I was 12 or 13 years old, I did it every bathtime in those days. It works perfectly! It was not until now (53 years old) that I actually found a practical use for it.

 

[drayman86]

Amazing what passes for a man cave these days.... I'd rather be in my garage. :cross:

It was the former owner's taste, not mine. On the plus side there's the wet bar, carpeted floors, and the brew house is right in the next room.

On the minus side....dark paneling and red carpet for that "Demonic Possession" look.

 

[jkarp]

I seriously considered upgrading my avatar to that brilliant hairy anus...

 

[Schlenkerla]

Only when I was 12 or 13 years old, I did it every bathtime in those days. It was not until now (53 years old) that I actually found a practical use for it.

What species of farts did you collect? Corned Beef & Cabbage, Kidney Pie, Sauer Kraut, hardboiled eggs ????

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I seriously considered upgrading my avatar to that brilliant hairy anus...

I'll see you in the memorable qoutes thread!

 

[Sigafoos]

Dammit, by the time I get to this thread we're off the topic. It's for the best, though if you feel like getting back into it (person reading this)'s mom is ugly.

 

[staffVAJoe]

I never actually realised that this was a serious thread. As that seems to be the case, my wife's happiness is paramount. No question about it. If she is unhappy, then I am unhappy. I just thoght this was obvious to the point of being a non-topic.

The only caveat is that it is our duty as spouses to test our partners borders of happiness, so that we can achieve our own contentment also.....And vice versa......Jeez, when did people get so insecure that this could actually be a serious thread? ???

Laughing Gnome just realized that his SWMBO may be checking up on his blogging activities

 

[carnevoodoo]

I'm lucky. I'm single, I have a good job, and I have roommates who like beer as much as I do. If and when I find someone I can tolerate being around as much as they can tolerate me, they will be in full understanding of my obsession and I would not change for anyone.

I also never plan on having kids. They're more expensive than things like chest freezers, and much more annoying.

 

[StoutFan]

I also never plan on having kids. They're more expensive than things like chest freezers, and much more annoying.

Only until one becomes a doctor and buys you a nice house.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Laughing Gnome just realized that his SWMBO may be checking up on his blogging activities

I is smart, I is!

 

[Dude]

I didn't read the *whole* thread, but it sure looks like some of you need to grow a pair.
I can understand limits (ie finances), but come on.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I didn't read the *whole* thread, but it sure looks like some of you need to grow a pair.
I can understand limits (ie finances), but come on.

I like tits, but not enough to grow a pair.......What were we talking about?

 

[the_bird]

I like tits, but not enough to grow a pair.......What were we talking about?

Keep drinkin' the homebrew, they'll grow by themselves.

 

[dzamba]

I love this thread. I guess I'm not the only one feeling resistance at home with brewing.

 

[StoutFan]

I didn't read the *whole* thread, but it sure looks like some of you need to grow a pair.
I can understand limits (ie finances), but come on.

I love the fact that if I ask the wife to "buy" some brewing equipment, she usually asks if I can just build it. Makes me happier and she does not care about it anymore. Some people just don't have as much of an understanding spouse. I do, and it works out great.

 

[Stevorino]

For what it's worth, my wife and I have a budgeting system that has worked out really well. We have 3 checking accounts:

1) Joint Account
2) My 'Fun' Account
3) Her 'Fun' Account

Our respective paychecks both dump into the Joint Account where we pay the bills, groceries, trips, outings both of us attend -- essentially the bulk of our spending and anything we both agree on. Then we each get a certain amount automatically transferred to our respective Fun accounts each month. The rule being that you cannot question what the other person spends their fun money on at all. I spend mine mainly on brewing and going out w/ the guys. She spends hers on girl time and purses/shoes.

Since she drinks some of my homebrew, I get to brew one 5 gallon batch a month on the joint account as well -- but all the equipment and any excess brewing comes out of my fun account.

This system has worked great for us both, we NEVER have financial arguments and we both get to do what we want, within reason. I'd highly recommend it to this scenario.

Regardless, good luck!

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I love this thread. I guess I'm not the only one feeling resistance at home with brewing.

It's different for all of us. We usually learn by our mistakes, but sometimes we marry them.

 

[ChshreCat]

I'm pleased with my situation. My wife doesn't drink, but she's happy I have a hobby that I enjoy and one that my daughter and I can do together. She keeps a leash on me when it comes to brewing equipment and how many batches, but that's mainly to keep me within our budget and to keep from overrunning the apartment with crap since we live in a small place.

She doesn't like the smell of brewing, so I have to schedule for when she's gone. But she works different shifts so it's not hard to find a time when she's at work for a weekend or evening shift that we can bust out the kettle. She mainly just keeps me from going crazy with it as I'd be likely to do left to my own devices.

Best part is that she doesn't mind swapping out ice bottles while I'm at work.

 

[NJTomatoguy]

Have you tried to get her involved? What's her favorite beer? If she doesn't have a favorite, what style does she like.

Ask her to help with a batch, even if it's just keeping an eye on the timer, or bottling.

I was dating a woman last year that got into it, brought over a pizza, and helped bottle.

Congrats on the baby btw.

Is the issue the brewing, or the drinking?

 

[lehr]

I didn't read the *whole* thread, but it sure looks like some of you need to grow a pair.
I can understand limits (ie finances), but come on.

Hell man grow ONE !

 

[skadalajara]

Man, I guess I must be lucky.
I'm divorced and staying that way. I simply can't get along with someone that long.
I've been with my current girlfriend for almost 3 years cos we don't live together and never will. And we both swear we'll never reproduce.
My housemates (one of whom is the owner of the house) wish I would brew more. As do I. I even have half the garage to use as a brewpub. Now I just need to finish the repairs to my daily driver so I can get back to brewing.

 

[IrregularPulse]

For what it's worth, my wife and I have a budgeting system that has worked out really well. We have 3 checking accounts:

1) Joint Account
2) My 'Fun' Account
3) Her 'Fun' Account

Our respective paychecks both dump into the Joint Account where we pay the bills, groceries, trips, outings both of us attend -- essentially the bulk of our spending and anything we both agree on. Then we each get a certain amount automatically transferred to our respective Fun accounts each month. The rule being that you cannot question what the other person spends their fun money on at all. I spend mine mainly on brewing and going out w/ the guys. She spends hers on girl time and purses/shoes.

Since she drinks some of my homebrew, I get to brew one 5 gallon batch a month on the joint account as well -- but all the equipment and any excess brewing comes out of my fun account.

This system has worked great for us both, we NEVER have financial arguments and we both get to do what we want, within reason. I'd highly recommend it to this scenario.

Regardless, good luck!

This is pretty much exactly what we do.
Same 3 accounts.
Agreed 1 5G (although I'm migrating them to 10Gers) a month from Joint account
All gadgetry and extras "needed" for brewing come from my fun account.
Allthough I've been able to to scrounge some of my kegerator build from the joint account...She pulls the handle as much as I do!.....and she bought me the co2 tank for christmas

Unfortunately with cutbacks at work and pay reductions, personal accounts having taken a back burner for now and of course mine is dry from spending it as soon as I get it. But oh well. I can still brew 10G batches without much work.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Hell man grow ONE !

He did you dufus.

That's the problem. He has an infant that is top priority right now!

SWMBO will mellow with time (AKA: Not Spaz-out). As said numerous times already; having a budget and planning a brew schedule will correct this whole situation.

 

[Chupacabras]

Give me liberty or give me death!

Here's another reason to add to the never getting married or reproducing list.

 

[SmugMug]

Not to stir the pot any further, but there seem to be a lot of bitter, defensive brewers here.

I'm over it.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Not to stir the pot any further, but there seem to be a lot of bitter, defensive brewers here.

I'm over it.

Hey!! I'm a bitter brewer!! I loves me a nice pint of bitter!!!


Oh, I see what you mean now.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Give me liberty or give me death!

Here's another reason to add to the never getting married or reproducing list.

Sooooo you're a DIYer. Keep on wackin' your stump. You know best how to do it man!!!

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

SWMBO and I had a discussion on our finances this morning. We need to seriously cut back on our spending. She was quick to tell me that she does not think our hobbies should be included in the new budget......I knew there was a reason I married her!

 

[anemic]

*There is always too much emphasis on sacrifice, not enough on the countless gains one enjoys from SWMBO's and children. My quality of life is much higher than it would be were I single. (no offense to anyone - marriage is truly not everybody's cup of tea, just as I could not take singleness)

*SmugMug's fridge question answered: forget dorm fridge, go straight to a CraigsList brand deep freezer (or standup fridge) with a temp controller on it. You will need to bottle condition those bottles at correct fermentation temps anyway. Freezers are available in a variety of sizes, so they needn't be size XL. How will you bottle condition those two summer season brews without one?

*Encourage SWMBO to sample your products. It engenders "Buy In" Do your best to dial in a beer for her

*Your turkey fryer doubles as a Seafood Boiler (using a different kettle of course) - what SWMBO wouldn't love a lobster boil eh? You aren't boiling in the house are ya mate? That could definitely create SWMBO friction. Bad technique. It stinks bad! I love beer but even I don't like wort smell.

*I like the cut of your jib too SmugMug, well done. Are you a sailor too?

*This hobby is really fun to share with the kids. I show them the science / biology of the yeast starters. They enjoy spending some time with me bottling. They give the bottle a quick toweling and insert them into the boxes while we chat. I show them the bubbling airlocks and overflowing blowoff setups. My 8 yr old enjoyed chillering with me.

*Lowe's has 25' of 1/4" copper for icemakers for $8.39. A couple hose clamps, some tubing, a hose adapator, bam - chiller.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Ah yes, the fridge.....I'd been laying out feelers with the missus a while back about getting a fridge for a fermentation chamber. A couple of weeks later she pointed out one in the newspaper for $200. I thought WTF!? Hell, I was thinking more of a price that was a LOT closer to free than that!! I declined on that fridge, but it seems that even when they seem to be moaning about the cost of this, the price of that, They are still looking out for ya.