Good news is that it was her cooling off period....and she left a bunch of money for me to have some shots with. By the time I was done, and walked home, everything was alright. Kinda a PITA, but hey, in all seriousness, my fat ass needs the exercise.
SWMBO is pissed...
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Good news is that it was her cooling off period....and she left a bunch of money for me to have some shots with. By the time I was done, and walked home, everything was alright. Kinda a PITA, but hey, in all seriousness, my fat ass needs the exercise.
jmulligan
Well-Known Member
If I'm being a class A ***** (due to hormones, bad day at work, whatever), HWMO lets me know. He basically will ask why am I being nasty, and then ask if 1) my day sucked or 2) if I'm PMSing. Sometimes that pisses me off, sometimes I consider the situation and say "Yeah, sorry for taking it out on you."
If HWMO said something like the "shut your mouth and open your..." comment, there would be a few nasty words and then an assload of silence.
But since it's not my relationship, bravo for your reckless, ballsy comment! (And good luck.)
If HWMO said something like the "shut your mouth and open your..." comment, there would be a few nasty words and then an assload of silence.
But since it's not my relationship, bravo for your reckless, ballsy comment! (And good luck.)
Agreed. I am not an aggressive person, quite the opposite actually, but if someone, even if it is SWMBO, is going to be aggressive with me, I am not going to just passively lay down and be walked all over. I have bad days too, I get grumpy just as much as the next person. Do I go home and take it out on my wife and belittle her and make her feel like it is all her fault? No. Of course not, because in my world that seems insane.
wildwest450
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Just remember, an assload of silence is golden.
It's not just laying down and being passive. It's having some sense. If you know that your SWMBO is taking it out on you and you know it's not your fault, best just to let her vent and get on with it.
To make snide comments back at her, funny as they might be, is only exacerbating things. Now, if there were a legitimate argument to be had, by all means, fight away. Sometimes it's best to just nod and move on.
Ain't nothing passive about that. It's just being smart.
conpewter
Well-Known Member
Man I have it good, my wife is great, we always work things out and even after a small tiff we apologize and everything is cool (yes I said we, she says sorry too!) I'm a very very lucky man.
ohiobrewtus
Well-Known Member
I played the "yes, dear" game in my first marriage... that's why it's my first marriage and not my current marriage. My wife hears what's on my mind at all times, and I hear what's on her mind. Fortunately for me, she likes sex far too much to cut me off for more than 1 or 2 days at the most, regardless of what I say.
Funny, I had the opposite experience. I fought like crazy with my psycho ex-wife. I only play the "yes dear" game with my current wife when circumstances dictate.
Oddly, we don't fight or argue so much as disagree. And we have a rule that applies to all in the house: no going to bed angry. Say your piece, apologize or admit your mistake and get on with things.
ohiobrewtus
Well-Known Member
That's the only way to go if you ask me. Get everything out in the open and over with. My first marriage I did the "yes, dear" thing and kept it all inside. That's not a good thing for someone with my personality.
Mine either, agreed. My first wife just happened to be completely insane. I thought I could save her from herself. What an idiot.
Please don't misunderstand me, my intent was certainly not to offend. However, this does not work for me. I can vent just fine without having to take it out on my wife. Why should she be able to trash me whenever she wants to blow off some steam? That's cool if it works for you, more power to you. I would never suggest that you change something that works for you, but this is what works for me. I would rather defend myself from being attacked and get the cold shoulder for a while, than say "yes dear" and pretend like nothing happened. But that is just me.
Holy Chit. I'd have been castrated on the the spot if I said that. +1 for living through it.
When SWMOme tries to withhold sex, I remind her SHE'S Not gettin any either! It only lasts a few days before the angry sex-makeup sex-great sex begins. Then everything goes back to normal. At least I think it's only a few days.
B
When SWMOme tries to withhold sex, I remind her SHE'S Not gettin any either! It only lasts a few days before the angry sex-makeup sex-great sex begins. Then everything goes back to normal. At least I think it's only a few days.
B
farmbrewernw
Well-Known Member
Is it just me or am I in the odd crowd when I say that even when SWMBO is not mad at me it's more often than not way more than a few days between sex? I'm young and I've already come to terms with the fact that sex isn't bound to happen as much as some of you say it does, I'm not complaining I love my SWMBO but some of you guys got me jealous.
Without looking, I know you're married. They hook you, then leave you begging.
Yeah, I go far more than just a few days sometimes. Other times, it's multiple times a week. It has led to some, ah, tense moments.
farmbrewernw
Well-Known Member
Without looking, I know you're married. They hook you, then leave you begging.
Yeah, I go far more than just a few days sometimes. Other times, it's multiple times a week. It has led to some, ah, tense moments.
Well I flogged the dolphin before I got married and I flog the dolphin now so whatever
brewprincess
Active Member
I agree. I've watched my parents act like this and it's sad to watch my dad just take it. I think if we women want to be treated as equals, we need to accept that sometimes it's our hormones talking and get over ourselves. I can't stand to be around couples where the man has been 'castrated' by the woman.
Maybe this is why I'm not married? Oh well, I stopped at Trader Joe's for some beer, I've got important things to do!
Fingers
Well-Known Member
If SWMBO is bitchy and taking it out on me, that means she needs a good fight to blow off some steam. Of course, I don't tell her to shut up, get naked and bend over, but I come right back with an aggressive response of my own. If I don't, I get the long drawn out simmering crankiness. She wants to fight? Here we go. Let's go at it, get it over with, and get back to what we were doing. The good news is that she doesn't need those blowouts quite so frequently any more.
Reminds me of a guy I work with who saw the phrase "who lit the string on your tampon" and just couldn't wait to make his wife mad so he could use it. 
As far as being married and not getting enough.... My wife's been complaining that she's not getting enough...damn I'm tired.
As far as being married and not getting enough.... My wife's been complaining that she's not getting enough...damn I'm tired.
Bedlam
Well-Known Member
Kauai_Kahuna
Well-Known Member
Very nice, it had to be done and a big plus for reality.
But, understanding that no good dead goes unpunished, start making sure you have homebrew in the dog house, cable, TV, radio, whatever you need.
Thanks for standing up for us man slaves, (OK, not me but breaking in the spoiled B..#*X is a real pain).
But, understanding that no good dead goes unpunished, start making sure you have homebrew in the dog house, cable, TV, radio, whatever you need.
Thanks for standing up for us man slaves, (OK, not me but breaking in the spoiled B..#*X is a real pain).
nickhead
Well-Known Member
ahhahhhh man slave - i feel you brother.
EdWort
Well-Known Member
What? Aren't you getting it on a daily basis? C'mon, it only take a prescription from the doctor. :cross:
It's for your good health you know.
RegionalChaos
Well-Known Member
I go with the 'yes dear' approach myself. The problem with thinking you can rationally discuss the issue is that in the throws of PMS there is no rational thinking....
ChshreCat
Well-Known Member
The big thing I've found is that even if she's in the wrong, if you snap back, that's all she'll remember. But, if you just take it, when she comes to her senses, she'll likely feel really bad and make it up to you.
Nerro
Well-Known Member
If she's gunning for a fight it's basically unavoidable anyway. I find it works best to try to shout her down and to blame her for EVERYTHING lame I can think of. After a while I just shut up and tell her to go and f*ck herself. This then goes on for and hour or so and then she usually gives in and appologizes. I have no real problems with going to sleep when the fight's not over. She does. I eploit this fact.
There is one sidenote, when you're wrong, you're wrong. Be a man and admit it.
There is one sidenote, when you're wrong, you're wrong. Be a man and admit it.
bernerbrau
Well-Known Member
I hear that, although I haven't been married that long. If she's still the one not getting enough five years from now, this marriage is going to work out just fine.
Chriso
Broken Robot Brewing Co.
I get the distinct feeling SWMBO would like me to just say "Yes, dear" but I'm not a good liar. If I have something on my mind, no matter how hard I try, I blurt it out in the most insensitive way possible. So I get in trouble a lot. But I still don't know how to just respond with "Yes, dear". So I keep accidentally stirring the ****, every time. It really kind of sucks.
I know what you mean, SWMBO is pissed off at me because I have a slower libido than she does. I can go weeks upon weeks without even thinking about it - whether or not the dolphin gets flogged. I just go into intensive beer-research mode, and forget that sex even exists.
I won't say much more, lest she find this, and eviscerate me.
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