SWMBO does not approve of brewing...

[Skins_Brew]

Does anyone else's SWMBOs not support their brewing? My SWMBO always throws the money thing at me (Spending more money on beer making?!?). I told her if she liked something other then Miller Lite she might have a different prospective on things. I don't think she would, but i feel as if she might pull a leg lamp from "A Christmas Story." You know when the wife 'accidentally' knocks over her husbands prize leg lamp? I tell her that i can take up a different hobby that costs more money, like frequenting the strip club down the street (Of course, i made that comment in a jokingly form). Anyone else here ever get these vibes?

 

[the_bird]

I told my wife yesterday morning...

"I've been feeling like crap lately. I need to brew."

Her response?

"That sounds like a really good idea. We'll stay out of your way. Sure, you can keep the fermenter in the dining room, I know it's kinda cold in the basement right now."

So, uh... nope!

 

[Professor Frink]

Dude that sucks. My SWMBO couldn't be more supportive of my brewing - she bought me a chest freezer for Christmas for my kegerator. It helps that she loves beer, good beer.

 

[Dude]

Time to dump that SWMBO on the curb!

My SWMBO is highly supportive of the hobby, although she doesn't have much interest on brewdays.

 

[Bulls Beers]

Mine too. I got a two tap system and a Sanyo 4912 for Christmas. The only thing my wife doesn't like is the smell when I brew, so she bought me a burner for outside..Gotta love that woman...

 

[the_bird]

Time to dump that SWMBO on the curb!

My SWMBO is highly supportive of the hobby, although she doesn't have much interest on brewdays.

Didn't you guys make some wine together? How's that going?

 

[Dude]

Didn't you guys make some wine together? How's that going?

It tastes good, but she is so damn lazy about it. It needs to be bottled and she keeps putting it off. I'm thinking a beating is in order.

 

[the_bird]

A "beating" might be harsh. Try a light spanking first to see if her behavior improves. Don't hit too hard, or all the subsequent beatings will be self-inflicted.

 

[Redweasel]

SWMBO absolutely does not like me homebrewing! Now I can kind of understand because she works as a bartender at a brewpub, but i used to manage the same brewpub and that is what got me started. I guess I realy DON'T understand.

 

[kornkob]

That's a very tough one but you probably need to spend some time trying to get to the root of whatever the problem is--- it's probably not beer. It's one thing for a SWMBO to not be supportive... it's quite another to be openly disdainful of something that makes you earnestly happy.

Making an effort to udnerstand what upsets her about it. It's entirely possible she feels like she doesn't have a comparable hobby or that the household budget pays for more stuff for 'your' hobby than it does for hers.

One thing that is sure to piss someone off is when you get things that directly benefit your hobby under the guise of being something for the house (or worse--- for her).

Be sensitive to the fact that it might not be about the brewing or the money. There may be another issue in your relationship that is the source of the trouble and if you have any interest in a long term relationship it is far better to figure it out now than letting it fester.

When you really care about someone, you want them to do things that make them happy--- even if you don't appreciate them yourself. If your SWMBO is trying to do harm to something that you enjoy, then there is a defect in your relationship that will lead the 2 of you down a dark road.


But that's just my opinion.

My experience: My SWMBO doesn't care for the beer I make and doesn't understand why I enjoy making it so much but she appreciates that I enjoy it and is tolerant of it and supportive to a point, although she doesn't buy me anything for it.

 

[capcrnch]

I couldn't ask for mine to be more supportive.
She helps me on brew days, works quality control for me and takes some joy in what im doing. Crazy how she's never around for the bottling process though

The irony to the whole thing. is that she does NOT like beer AT ALL.
She just lets me do my thing..

Now I do get a bit of lip when it comes to brewing stuff being spread all around the house. (I honestly believe I have some of my homebrewing stuff in every room of the house)...
But, a quick reminder to her about her scrapbooking crap and that gripe ends quickly.

 

[the_bird]

"Resident Crazy Uncle," or "Resident Dr. Phil"?

I'm wondering whether the core issue isn't the money that you're spending, but that when you're brewing, you aren't paying attention to her. It's "your" hobby, it's not something that you guys share.

Now, that's just idle speculation, but it's another perspective to consider.

Y'all need to communicate better....

 

[CodeRage]

I told SWMBO that I am going to start brewing or smoking crack. She opted for brewing.

She really has been supportive though, very willing to try my beer. I do have to say that I go out of my way to make sure I am clean about it. Everything is put away immediatly when I am finished and the kitchen is always cleaner than when I started.

 

[Skins_Brew]

Its not like she flames me all day about it it. The only time i hear about it is when something like this goes down...

SWMBO: "So, what do you want to do today"
Me: Return the movies, go to the grocery store, and maybe home depot.
SWMBO: Home depot? For what?
Me: I heard they had a sale on coolers.
SWMBO: what do you need a cooler for?
Me: Homebrewing...
SWMBO: bla bla bla bla bla bla

That is where i usually tune out. I dont think she would ever actually destroy anything homebrewing on purpose. She actually showed a small amount of interest the other day. She sent me a camera phone pic of some haus pale ale and was inquiring why it did not look like the other, darker beers i have brewed. Hopefully, she will like the Haus Pale ale and stop flaming me every time i make a homebrew purchase.

 

[olllllo]

1) Rent beer related movies.
2) Buy beer at the grocery store.

 

[Snakebone]

My wife leaves me alone. I've met alot of great people through this hobby and so has she. She doesn't like beer at all (more for me) but when I tell her I'm going to brew she just says"OK". Life is good!

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

My wife absolutely does not share in the Joy of Homebrewing with me depite the fact that when I do brew it is usually behind the scenes when both her and the boy are fast asleep.

Along with the snide commentary about equipment and ingredient purchases, and club meetings, she also give me a lot of grief about buying bottled beers.

The approach of talking about hobby alternatives doesn't hold any weight with her either.

 

[Blender]

My wife bought me the start up kit and then 2 years later the kegging equipment. She likes IPA's so I try to keep her happy. I would guess that the money objection is relative to how much you spend and finances overall.

 

[Kevin Dean]

SWMBO after driving over an hour to a garage full of guys brewing beer - hop smells and everything. Notice she's drinking a home brew and smiling.

She's pretty cool!

 

[Skins_Brew]

I looked at the pics from MD brew day, and when i move back to MD, i am totally coming to a MD brew day(if they still go on) !!! SWMBO or not!!

 

[drunkatuw]

SWMBO hates beer (actually she doesn't drink at all, I married my DD ), but she does support my hobby. She knows it makes me happy so she doesn't complain when I spend a couple days a month brewing beer (not to mention all the other time I spend in the brew shop on new DIY stuff and cleaning and racking). She was actually the one that spotted the open box sanyo 4912 at best buy and asked if it would be good for a kegerator. So I guess she doesn't support it, but she definitely tolerates it because she knows I enjoy it. Same reason I tag along to crate & barrel or pottery barn.

 

[skeeordye11]

I think it was just the Sheetz that kept her happy throughout that day. j/k, but boy I love me some Sheetz!!!

 

[Ize]

Mine doesn't get it, understand it, rarely drinks at all, rolls her eyes at my drinking.

Then I remind her what a pain in the a$$ she is, she tells me I'd be bored if she wasn't, I tell her I'd still drink as much, she says it wouldn't be as much fun if she wasn't around.

I reluctantly agree.

And we end up with a tie. We kiss goodnight, she goes to bed, I fall asleep on the couch and wake up foggy, bitching how much I hate winter. She says STFU and go to work...

10 years, we've got it down to a science.

Ize

 

[Dr_Deathweed]

Mine is pretty supportive, but sometimes I do hit that $$$$ barrier...

Me: "I think I am going to build a fermentation cabinet"
Her: "Um, have you done any of the other chores I have given you over that last couple months?"
Me: "No."
Her: "How much have you spent on brewing in the last month?"
Me: "Ummmmmmm...."
Her: "So while you are at school, who is earning the money?"
Me: "Well you, whats your point?"
Her: "No cabinet until you get the other chores done, and I get to spend an equal amount of what you spend"
Me: But with the cabinet, I can start lagering and make better beers!"
Her: "No cabinet"
Me: (Pouts and stomps away)

Oh well, I guess I earned that one. But when I am a good boy she lets be do what I want... And she drinks my beer (even if it is to say, "When can you make something like Bud Select or Ziegenbock?") And she LOVES the apfelwien (thanks Ed!!! )

 

[mrkristofo]

Nope. Can't relate at all.

Bottling with a smile while Hobgoblin sparges right next to her. :rockin:

 

[Baldy_Beer_Brewery]

mrkristofo, would you be down with some wife swapping? No, not that kind...

I was thinking your wife could come to my house on brew day and mine could go to the mall with your credit cards.

 

[Short Drive]

My SWMBO didn't like me to brew at all. But tolerated it because I wanted to do it. But when friends a relatives started asking if I had any home brew because it was so good, she changed her mind and even said she thought I should brew more.

 

[Soulive]

My SWMBO is minimally supportive. She knows I'm passionate so she won't discourage me, but she's not thrilled about it either. She doesn't give me a hard time about it, but she also doesn't like to get involved. I'm content...

 

[Evan!]

The wife loves my beer---even more so since I built the kegerator and she can pull a pint whenever she wants and doesn't have to worry about me refilling the fridge with bottles. She's even a bona fide hophead. We've been married for a year and a half, been together 10 years...and still have separate checking accounts and credit cards. She likes it that way, as do I...we never get into arguments about $$ for brewing stuff, mainly because I pay for it all and do all the work and all she has to do is put a glass under the tap and pull the lever, so it's not such a bad deal for her. I was a bit surprised at how supportive she was of the kegerator project. She would actually hassle me to get off my ass and work on it. Now that's love!

We've run into some obstacles...such as stacks of ugly cardboard boxes full of beer bottles sitting in our finished spaces...or brewing when I should be doing something else. But over time, I've gone out of my way to come up with better storage options, and have consolidated my equipment as best I can to keep it out of her way. I've also gotten my brewday down to about 4 hours for a batch, and will wake up really early on a Saturday just so I can get it done before lunch. She sees this effort and is genuinely appreciative, and has come to trust me 100%. For instance, we were sitting around on Friday night with some friends and one asks what we were doing this weekend. I said I was thinking about brewing on Saturday, wifey gets a surprised look on her face, and my friend says "uh oh", expecting her to scold me. Instead she says, "no, it's cool, I trust him. He gets up early and does what he has to do." Word! She rarely participates directly in the operation, but she's at least somewhat interested, which is nice...all around, it's a healthy situation. Which will all change when we decide to procreate, but that's another story...

To the OP...communication is key, as is showing a genuine effort to minimize the negative effects on her. Oh, and Go Skins!

 

[uglygoat]

she bought me a kegerator and said get rid of the bottles, and don't brew when i'm home. she works every other weekend 7p-7a so life is good.