Sh*t my husband says

[Yooper]

I know there is a book somewhere that is called "**** my dad says". I realized today that my world is filled with Bobisms.

As an example, when realizing my pants are baggy in the butt, I said, "I have no butt!" Bob's reply, "Oh, your butt is bigger than you think."

I asked Bob once if "these pants make me look fat?". He looked at me seriously for a minute and said, "No! I think it's your body that makes you look fat".

I'm insecure, and today I was looking for reassurance that I'm still important to him. I was busy canning marinara sauce, dryhopping a beer, doing some laundry (normally his job), and said, "I'm a pretty good wife to you, wouldn't you agree?" His reply: "You're alright".

I should have let it go, but then I said, "Ah, c'mon. I do all kinds of things for you and totally support you in all ways. I even brew the beer!"

His reply: "Yes. Don't stop brewing and we'll be ok".

 

[butterpants]

Coyly ask 'how much do you think it is to rent a backhoe?'. When he says something to the effect of.... WTF.... say 'oh never mind'.

The next day tell him you're planning a camping trip for just the two of you in a super remote area.

 

[jmendez29]

Ha! That sounds like a bunch do stuff I would have said. Maybe it's a UP thing, part of my youth was growing up pretty much all over Delta county.

My standard response to the "does this make me look fat" question is, "not really."

I am starting to realize some backlash from this, though. My GF of almost 4 years has caught on to my devious ways and has learned to dish it back out to me. Good god, I love that woman.

In other news, there IS a book called sh*t my dad says, and it started from a blog that the same guy started. You should check it out. I think it's hilarious. Since he started it, the guy moved out and got married so he doesn't update nearly as often as he used to, but there is still several years worth of stuff to look through if you have time.

 

[day_trippr]

I read that book. My youngest son gave it to me.

And I'm pretty sure I'd like your old man...

Cheers!

 

[bob1852]

I'm getting that book for my dad for Christmas.

 

[day_trippr]

If there is a knock against the book, it's that it's way too short. I'm pretty sure my sons would state I could at least double the number of pages...

Cheers

 

[Glynn]

LOL Bob sounds like someone i would really enjoy a beer with.

 

[Melana]

Awesome.

 

[kombat]

My wife: "Why didn't you put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher?"
Me: "There's no room."
Wife: "There's plenty of room, you just don't know how to pack things well."
Me: "Naw, it's full, there's no room. You're crazy."
Wife: "No I'm not. There's room."
Me: "No there isn't. You're crazy."
Wife: "I'm not crazy!"
Me: "You know who's always saying stuff like that?"
Wife: "Who?"
Me: "Crazy people."