Saddest Holiday story

[WillPall]

Just for the record... This did not happen in Alabama as a poster above suggested. I'm trying to turn our image around.

We have gone 1 days without a reputation destroying scandal.

 

[mordantly]

1 entire block of 24 consecutive hours? damn!

 

[Wyldjim]

sorry Wyldjim, a got sidetracked...

On the eighth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush

 

[mordantly]

On the ninth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 9 top romans, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush

 

[shek]

On the ninth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 9 top romans, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush

I'm used to seeing it spelled "Top Ramen", is "Top Roman" some kind of maneuver involving a "top" and perhaps a roman helmet?

 

[mordantly]

thats a typo. youve never been locked up then. ramen is gold, envelopes, paper, shampoo, matches and cigarettes are worth a fortune.


btw: what the duece is a "Roman Helmet?"

 

[Wyldjim]

On the ninth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 9 top romans, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush

On the tenth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 10 chocolate Ho-Ho's, 9 top ramens, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush

 

[mordantly]

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 11 envelopes ,10 chocolate Ho-Ho's, 9 top ramens, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush

 

[Wyldjim]

This doesn't really go with the cadence of the original song. How about
On the sixth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush.

Edit: Oops, i had two instead of six....hooray for apfelwein!!!

I didn't think to specify, but the version I think of is Bob and Doug McKenzie version. What I grew up with. I still got the original x-mas album at my parents place. Of course, I haven't had a turn table, well ever, but the folks did.

It is out of tune on purpose. "and a beer"

 

[Wyldjim]

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 11 envelopes ,10 chocolate Ho-Ho's, 9 top ramens, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush

On the Twelfth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 12 crabs a leaping, 11 envelopes ,10 chocolate Ho-Ho's, 9 top ramens, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush

Hoppy, Holidays, and don't go to prison!

-from your friends in friendly California.

 

[mordantly]

Here Here! Hooray for no prison.