Saddest Holiday story

Williams 728
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4-year-old boy takes can of Bud Light from his grandfather’s cooler, gets drunk, runs away from home, breaks into neighbors’ house, steals their Christmas presents, all so he could go to prison to be closer to his inmate dad. Oh, and he was wearing a girl’s dress at the time of his capture.
Happy Holidays!


 
Last edited by a moderator:
sad for the boy.. but the story did make me laugh... i guess im insensitive... btw how the hell does a 4 year old manage to do that? break out of his room.. steal a beer.. and break into someone elses house.. even if the door is unlocked..
 
****ed up story but I laughed my ass off at this line:

"its one of dem dat der tab beers"
 
Wait up. Lets look at what's really sad here.

He "escaped" from his house. Look, if I gotta escape from somewhere, that's somewhere I didn't want to be any way. What kind of kennel is this kid being held captive in? Was him mom going to eat him?

The reporter seems amazed that this kid was able to get that plastic doorknob cover off. It ain't an industrial lock out device. The thing only stops stupid kids from opening doors. All they gotta do is figure out how to open the damn thing. It's not like it's made of titanium and welded shut.

He was drinking a Bud Light!

How'd he get the can open? Jimminey! He can open doors! Beers cans don't stand a chance.

Seems like one neighbor let the kid wander off after coming to their door at night with a beer. I mean, even during the day, c'mon. Even I'd have a cursory look around to see what was up.

He was wearing a dress and wanting to go to jail. Think about it. That's not how you want to go to jail. Even if you are gay.
 
Maybe this is exactly how his dad wound up in jail? Drunk, wearing women’s clothing and breaking into his neighbor’s house?
 
I can't say I blame his Dad. If I had to live with a woman that fuggly, I'd want to be sent to jail, too.
 
I have to admit though, I don't see why they had to make such a big deal over this. They mention the mother's name, the kid's name, that she is going through a divorce, that the the father is in prision, they show his picture and they interview her and I assume put her on TV. This is not Tiger Woods here, this is just a 4 year old boy with a lot of family problems. Nothing good to come out of all this unless there are donations to the family to help them out.

I feel bad for them such a big deal was made over this. Not that it doesn't need to be addressed, just not not this way.
 
jgln said:
I have to admit though, I don't see why they had to make such a big deal over this. They mention the mother's name, the kid's name, that she is going through a divorce, that the the father is in prision, they show his picture and they interview her and I assume put her on TV. This is not Tiger Woods here, this is just a 4 year old boy with a lot of family problems. Nothing good to come out of all this unless there are donations to the family to help them out.

I feel bad for them such a big deal was made over this. Not that it doesn't need to be addressed, just not not this way.
Click to expand...

Funny as the whole thing is, you are 100% correct.

You know that lady (and the rest of her family) wants to move right now. If they live in a town even remotely like mine, they'll never be allowed to forget this.
 
Zul'jin said:
Wait up. Lets look at what's really sad here.

He "escaped" from his house. Look, if I gotta escape from somewhere, that's somewhere I didn't want to be any way. What kind of kennel is this kid being held captive in? Was him mom going to eat him?

The reporter seems amazed that this kid was able to get that plastic doorknob cover off. It ain't an industrial lock out device. The thing only stops stupid kids from opening doors. All they gotta do is figure out how to open the damn thing. It's not like it's made of titanium and welded shut.

He was drinking a Bud Light!

How'd he get the can open? Jimminey! He can open doors! Beers cans don't stand a chance.

Seems like one neighbor let the kid wander off after coming to their door at night with a beer. I mean, even during the day, c'mon. Even I'd have a cursory look around to see what was up.

He was wearing a dress and wanting to go to jail. Think about it. That's not how you want to go to jail. Even if you are gay.
Click to expand...

Agreed. We're on the same page for once.
 
The saddest part of all of this.... he's drinking Bud Light at this age. By the time he's legal it will be almost impossible to break him of fizzy yellow swill.
 
I agree this is sad, but it happens a lot more than you think. Most stuff the po po see never makes it to the news.

Bud light, hmm. My 5 year old wouldn't drink that. Of course, he brewed a nut brown ale when he was 2. (I helped, but he picked the recipe:)

Nothing like prison for the Holiday's. On the first day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, a shiv. On the second of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 2 pink dresses and a shiv,...

Hey, this is the drunken rambling section, right:tank:
 
The same thing just happened to me last week. I found myself walking down the middle of the street at 1am, drinking a Bud Lite, and wearing a dress.

It's happened to all of us, right? ...............Right?

Most of you just won't admit it.

Especially the Bud Lite drinking.
 
Something similar happened to me on Easter but the story was a little sadder (I can't talk about it due to legal wrangling:)

wtf_pics-fairy-tale-9111.jpg
 
dontman said:
Something similar happened to me on Easter but the story was a little sadder (I can't talk about it due to legal wrangling:)

wtf_pics-fairy-tale-9111.jpg
Click to expand...

WTF? Oompa Loompas? That is messed up.

And you are right, I'd rather admit a dress than the Bud Light. I'm not saying it has never happened. I just don't admit it:)

On the fourth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, four cups of pruno (brewed in the toliet, and better and more flavorful that Bud Light), three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv.

Hey, I think the guy on the gurney, was my celly:)
 
:confused: But, we have 8 more days of Christmas!

I thought at least Mordantly would help me out:(
 
On the fifth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv.
 
Zul'jin said:
On the fifth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv.
Click to expand...
This doesn't really go with the cadence of the original song. How about
On the sixth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush.

Edit: Oops, i had two instead of six....hooray for apfelwein!!!
 
****ed up kid, hot blonde reporter. This story is perfect!

And WTF is with the mom? "These things happen..." NO THEY ****ING DON'T!
 
Just for the record... This did not happen in Alabama as a poster above suggested. I'm trying to turn our image around.

We have gone 1 days without a reputation destroying scandal.
 
mordantly said:
sorry Wyldjim, a got sidetracked...
Click to expand...

On the eighth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush

:mug:
 
mordantly said:
On the ninth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 9 top romans, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush
Click to expand...
I'm used to seeing it spelled "Top Ramen", is "Top Roman" some kind of maneuver involving a "top" and perhaps a roman helmet?
 
mordantly said:
On the ninth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 9 top romans, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush
Click to expand...

On the tenth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 10 chocolate Ho-Ho's, 9 top ramens, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush
 
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 11 envelopes ,10 chocolate Ho-Ho's, 9 top ramens, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush
 
shek said:
This doesn't really go with the cadence of the original song. How about
On the sixth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush.

Edit: Oops, i had two instead of six....hooray for apfelwein!!!
Click to expand...

I didn't think to specify, but the version I think of is Bob and Doug McKenzie version. What I grew up with. I still got the original x-mas album at my parents place. Of course, I haven't had a turn table, well ever, but the folks did.

It is out of tune on purpose. "and a beer":mug:
 
mordantly said:
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 11 envelopes ,10 chocolate Ho-Ho's, 9 top ramens, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush
Click to expand...

On the Twelfth day of Christmas, my celly gave to me, 12 crabs a leaping, 11 envelopes ,10 chocolate Ho-Ho's, 9 top ramens, 8 kestered condoms, 7 tatoos, six copies of Oui, five Newport One-Hundreds, four cups of pruno, three anal beads, two pink dresses, and a shiv made from a toOOOOthbrush

:ban: Hoppy, Holidays, and don't go to prison!:ban:

-from your friends in friendly California.
 

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