Road Rage One Liners

[Wolfhound180]

See, I don't get what the problem is, staying in the left lane when there's nobody the **** around. Who cares about that?

Also, the left lane should NOT just be *just* for passing. If I'm driving 75MPH on the Thruway and everyone else is going 70, it'd safer for me to just stay out in the left lane than to keep moving back and forth. With the big caveat, if there's someone behind me going 80, I get out of their way.

It's the law in Texas. Left lane is for passing only. You will get a ticket because it's people like that that cause gigantic traffic jams.

 

[cheezydemon3]

Ayuh, I completely disagree. People that cruise in the left lane tend to just obliviously sit there until someone passes them on the right.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

Mass hole here! Our turnpike is nothing like a real big state highway. I've been on those! It really is safer to be high speed in the left of two lanes when trucks are entering from the right, especially at 6 AM. Just boogey along staying out of the way. When there are three other cars within 20 miles of highway.

It was only within the past few years that there has been any awareness that left lane is passing- only. I'm sure it was law, but here it's not enforced.

My point was that I was wondering why 80 mph wasn't fast enough. I was calling that guy all kinds of names!

 

[SharonaZamboni]

And if I'm doing 80, and someone's flying up up on my ass, I'm staying put. They are obviously going somewhere in a hurry. They don't need some ****** moving right, they don't expect it.

 

[passedpawn]

My point was that I was wondering why 80 mph wasn't fast enough.

When I was young 55 was "fast enough". Now it's 70. In your case, because you speed, it's 80. When I get on the highway down here, it's higher than 80.

Everyone likes to drive at different speeds. Stay to the right unless you are passing and we can all live in harmony.

Here's to living in harmony!

 

[SharonaZamboni]

What happened to "slow traffic, keep right"? LOL

 

[the_bird]

Mass hole here! Our turnpike is nothing like a real big state highway. I've been on those! It really is safer to be high speed in the left of two lanes when trucks are entering from the right, especially at 6 AM. Just boogey along staying out of the way. When there are three other cars within 20 miles of highway.

It was only within the past few years that there has been any awareness that left lane is passing- only. I'm sure it was law, but here it's not enforced.

My point was that I was wondering why 80 mph wasn't fast enough. I was calling that guy all kinds of names!

Exactly. If I'm in the left lane (again, assuming there's no traffic building up behind me), I'm not in the way of traffic coming on and leaving the highway.

IMO, it's 10x more dangerous to be shifting lanes needlessly.

 

[Zuljin]

Two lanes, I'll be in the left, going faster than the right and move over as need be.

Three lanes or more, I'll be in the left if going faster or the middle or one of the lanes that is not the right if I'm going slower.

The only reason I hold in the right lane is when I'm staging for my exit. Driving in the right lane and dealing with these jack wagons who don't know how to merge is a hazard.

 

[jonmohno]

I would agree with the Bird on the left lane ideals.If im going a good window over the speed limit and someone is approaching breaking the law going 80+ im not moving in to the right lane for speeders.Im not talking a speed of traffic situation-if there were a dozen speedeers i would safely stay in the right.

 

[ytsejam]

"Get a seeing eye dog!"

 

[bluemoose]

I would agree with the Bird on the left lane ideals.If im going a good window over the speed limit and someone is approaching breaking the law going 80+ im not moving in to the right lane for speeders.Im not talking a speed of traffic situation-if there were a dozen speedeers i would safely stay in the right.

Really? So you decide what is too fast and enforce it by staying in the left lane? You're the guy I can't stand. If you're going "a good window of speed" , but not breaking the law, you're driving 65. GTFO.

 

[WesleyS]

I would agree with the Bird on the left lane ideals.If im going a good window over the speed limit and someone is approaching breaking the law going 80+ im not moving in to the right lane for speeders.Im not talking a speed of traffic situation-if there were a dozen speedeers i would safely stay in the right.

If your going over the speed limit then you're no better than the person flying up behind you. Breaking the law is breaking the law. I don't speed but I can't stand people that think they have to make a point by staying in the left lane no matter what the situation is. I prefer to get out of the way of speeders. The further from me they get the better.
Now back to the original topic, my one liner to extremely slow people or people that take forever to turn or just look confused as to what planet they're on and don't know where to go, thus blocking traffic is Drive It Or Park It!

 

[John1337]

"Either sh*t or get off the pot"

 

[pjj2ba]

I would agree with the Bird on the left lane ideals.If im going a good window over the speed limit and someone is approaching breaking the law going 80+ im not moving in to the right lane for speeders.Im not talking a speed of traffic situation-if there were a dozen speedeers i would safely stay in the right.

It's a judgement call. When I'm driving in a lot of traffic I try to keep an extra eye on what is going on behind me. I try to judge whether it would be better to move to my right or not. Sometimes it is better just to stay where I am.

 

[Tex]

When I was in college I kept a dry erase board in my car so we could write messages to people on the road. I drove a wrangler so mostly we had outr shirts off an the top down and would write "we're naked" to get a laugh out of a chick. I had a friend who would draw animals pooping to weird people out, that was funny. Now in my road rage moments I usually just shout that I'm going to shove their car up their d*ckhole or shove their cell phone down their throat. Can't stand people texting while driving.

 

[static]

This...

 

[jonmohno]

Really? So you decide what is too fast and enforce it by staying in the left lane? You're the guy I can't stand. If you're going "a good window of speed" , but not breaking the law, you're driving 65. GTFO.

5 over really? Going 10-15 over=rediculous.Keep speeding buddy. Its like saying ill have one or two beers then drive compared to having 3-4.
Like i said if there are a pack of speeders i stay on the right. I dont deal or drive with heavy city traffic.Just 2 lane divided highway im talking.
Why should i encouage people going that fast,i hope it annoys you,because you annoy me.And why does that rule apply when someone going that fast thinks someone else should move over when he is doing something wrong himself.It doesnt apply. but if there is a pack of them i wont stay there doing 67 miles per hour -i move but im not moving for a few,why do them a favor.Cops pass me over 70 when im in the right lane-so figure that one.
People flying up behind you is worse those are the jackasses that cause the accidents with the people sticking to the guidelines for driving.Plus "you" people like to ride peoples asses before you pass. All that road and you have to drive so close together, i stay away from you people.
I dont feel like i need to give "you"courtesy and move over when im going max speed and you are not and its sproadic traffic.Im not usually a left lane driver either.I see people doing 80 +every morning and these fools end up in the ditch in the winter also,the agressive type. I stay the **** away and alway keep my distance from these people. I guess it makes their ego feel better.

 

[KingBrianI]

5 over really? Going 10-15 over=rediculous.Keep speeding buddy.
Like i said if there are a pack of speeders i stay on the right. I dont deal or drive with heavy city traffic.

10 - 15 mph over may be ridiculous to you, but it's not for others. The point is, you don't get to decide how fast other people should go. Maybe 5 over is ridiculous to someone and he will sit in the left lane going the speed limit to block you from going 5 over.

Anyone who has spent any time in Germany knows how efficient a highway system can be when people understand that the left lanes are for passing. It's too bad we have so many clueless people here in America clogging up the roads.

 

[jonmohno]

Well i wouldt get pissed at them for doing the speed limit when someone passing you is not.So i feel why is it someones responsibilty to get over for someone breaking the law if they are doing max speed.I dont see why you think speeding is something that should be encouraged.If someone is in the left going max and someone is bitching about passing in the right,i dont feel sorry for that lawbreaker then.
I dont care if someone is doing max speed limitin the left,i would have no right to get pissed if i was speeding and passing him in the right-thats my point.You have no right to bitch when you are doing something wrong-if you want to speed speed in the ditch and pass the person on the left then to prove you need to be in the left lane then.
Again im not a left lane driver but i dont think speeders need be given courtesy of moving over.

 

[Wolfhound180]

Well i wouldt get pissed at them for doing the speed limit when someone passing you is not.So i feel why is it someones responsibilty to get over for someone breaking the law if they are doing max speed.I dont see why you think speeding is something that should be encouraged.If someone is in the left going max and someone is bitching about passing in the right,i dont feel sorry for that lawbreaker then.
I dont care if someone is doing max speed limitin the left,i would have no right to get pissed if i was speeding and passing him in the right-thats my point.You have no right to bitch when you are doing something wrong-if you want to speed speed in the ditch and pass the person on the left then to prove you need to be in the left lane then.
Again im not a left lane driver but i dont think speeders need be given courtesy of moving over.

Golly gee those whipper snappers!

 

[Sparqui]

I am very careful how I react. I drive a School Bus for a living and have 75 little eyes on me. However, a couple of weeks ago, one of my "difficult" students got off the bus in the afternoon and after closing the door behind him I muttered "little creep". It was apparently my outloud voice as the front half of the bus started laughing.

 

[bluemoose]

Well i wouldt get pissed at them for doing the speed limit when someone passing you is not.So i feel why is it someones responsibilty to get over for someone breaking the law if they are doing max speed.I dont see why you think speeding is something that should be encouraged.If someone is in the left going max and someone is bitching about passing in the right,i dont feel sorry for that lawbreaker then.
I dont care if someone is doing max speed limitin the left,i would have no right to get pissed if i was speeding and passing him in the right-thats my point.You have no right to bitch when you are doing something wrong-if you want to speed speed in the ditch and pass the person on the left then to prove you need to be in the left lane then.
Again im not a left lane driver but i dont think speeders need be given courtesy of moving over.

So because YOU want to prove a point, that people shouldn't speed, YOU stay in the left and cause a dangerous situation, forcing a faster motorist to pass on the right. brilliant!

 

[the_bird]

It's a judgement call. When I'm driving in a lot of traffic I try to keep an extra eye on what is going on behind me. I try to judge whether it would be better to move to my right or not. Sometimes it is better just to stay where I am.

Yes, this ^^

For clarification, I never advocated for staying in the left lane when someone's behind me, wanting to pass. Point is that if I'm on the highway, going 75 and everyone else is going 70, I'm not scooting back into the right lane every time I go by someone. If there's someone ahead that I'm going to pass in the next minute, and there's no one on my tail, I'm staying in the left lane.

 

[bluemoose]

Yes, this ^^

For clarification, I never advocated for staying in the left lane when someone's behind me, wanting to pass. Point is that if I'm on the highway, going 75 and everyone else is going 70, I'm not scooting back into the right lane every time I go by someone. If there's someone ahead that I'm going to pass in the next minute, and there's no one on my tail, I'm staying in the left lane.

The other thing that we are not taking into account is location. I do a lot of my driving north of White River on 91. The_bird probably knows this area. You are as likely to see a deer as two cars close together on this stretch. There is no reAson to ride in the left, but someone always is. The Mass pike, well, east of the_bird is a bit different. If you're on 93 or 95 in Mass I see no point in getting to the right, nobody else does.

 

[BBL_Brewer]

I use "Didn't that car come with a gas peddle?" a lot.

 

[mpjay2000]

[

So the other day I'm getting onto the freeway and an exceptional driver speeds up in the slow lane forcing me to slam on the brakes and let him go by as I am trying to merge onto the freeway.

I pass him a minute later and give him the big thumbs up. Right after that I turned to my wife and said, "You thought I was going to use a different finger didn't you?"

I probably would have if the kids weren't in the back seat! Anyways laughs were had and I didn't set a bad example. Win, win!

Jay

 

[RDWHAHB]

I am very careful how I react. I drive a School Bus for a living and have 75 little eyes on me. However, a couple of weeks ago, one of my "difficult" students got off the bus in the afternoon and after closing the door behind him I muttered "little creep". It was apparently my outloud voice as the front half of the bus started laughing.

One of those poor kids only has one eye, eh?

 

[Airplanedoc]

"If it gets any greener you can smoke it"

 

[Portah]

Use the F Tard...

 

[jonmohno]

So because YOU want to prove a point, that people shouldn't speed, YOU stay in the left and cause a dangerous situation, forcing a faster motorist to pass on the right. brilliant!

No forcing.How its it dangerous,isnt the speeder the "danger" hmmmmm.???? Where is the law?And when does courtesy to move over for speeders become law?Where the speeder has right of way? Make speeding a Law and i will abide otherwise, you move over. Im not talking a mass of cars behind either.
A major freeway and i dont even hesitate to let the speeders go by staying in the right,its just stupiditity.I just see too many of these jackasses that feel they dont need to yeild to anything to go go go that end up causing accidents or end up passing and in a ditch in the winter especially-every year.And semi's are just as bad(in the ditch)-every winter.

 

[funkapottomous]

I usually just make a comment about how we should go inform that guy that his blinker is broken, because it didn't come on when he turned/changed lanes/etc and that's really the only reason why it should happen, unless he's just an *******.

 

[RDWHAHB]

No forcing.How its it dangerous,isnt the speeder the "danger" hmmmmm.???? Where is the law?And when does courtesy to move over for speeders become law?Where the speeder has right of way? Make speeding a Law and i will abide otherwise, you move over. Im not talking a mass of cars behind either.
A major freeway and i dont even hesitate to let the speeders go by staying in the right,its just stupiditity.I just see too many of these jackasses that feel they dont need to yeild to anything to go go go that end up causing accidents or end up passing and in a ditch in the winter especially-every year.And semi's are just as bad(in the ditch)-every winter.

Well in my state (CO) the left lane is for passing. Your actions cause a hazard. I'm not saying that speeders aren't a hazard too, but in my mind your actions are worse by forcing passing on the right.

http://www.mit.edu/~jfc/right.html

 

[unionrdr]

I hate it when a car gets in front of a line of traffic in a 45=50MPH zone & slows to 25-32mph up in front. Then tap dances on the gas pedal. Like they feel obligated to teach the rest of us how to drive/stay alive,whatever. I get that the most around here. Virtually always SUV's & expensive cars. That's why we'll never see an American Autobahn. Everyone things YOU'RE the bad driver & they're Fangio or something.
I see more SUV's causing accidents around here from their bully attitude. Some little **** in a big ass truck. Some I've even argued with really do think they have more rights on the road than me because their vehicle is bigger or more expensive than mine.
Not to forget the douches that ride your bumper when behind you or their brake pedal when in front. I don't need lessons fella. Lead,follow,or get out of the way. Most of the time,when they pull a bad move,I pull up next to them & give'em the "Lurch". You know how when Lurch does his WTF? face? He slowly shakes his head with a disgusted look,moaning a gutteral huhuhuhuh.
My favorite is from Liar Liar. "What's your problem shmuck??" "Flipping the bird,I'm an inconciderate prick!". lolz

 

[ReverseApacheMaster]

No forcing.How its it dangerous,isnt the speeder the "danger" hmmmmm.???? Where is the law?And when does courtesy to move over for speeders become law?Where the speeder has right of way? Make speeding a Law and i will abide otherwise, you move over. Im not talking a mass of cars behind either.

In Texas, as others mentioned, the left lane is for passing only. By hanging out in the left lane, not only are you causing congestion and making everybody's commute longer but you are creating a hazard and breaking the traffic code. The difference between you and the speeder is, on most roads in Texas, the posted speed limit is not a maximum limit. It is the recommended limit under perfect driving conditions. That doesn't mean people can't drive faster and not break the law. However, it is always a violation of the traffic code to drive in the left lane when not passing.

To clarify: driving over the posted limit sometimes is within the law, what you do is never legal.

Moreover, it's just a ******* thing to do. Yes, sometimes people speed just because they enjoy driving fast, they drive like a-holes, etc. but there's no way for you to differentiate between that person and somebody who's speeding because they are late to something really important, possibly of no fault of their own, or on the way to the hospital.

 

[bobbrews]

Northern NJ is notorious for horrible drivers. I cannot type some of the stuff I say on here due to the censoring features, but it's completely warranted for 7 drivers out of 10.

Though I really like this popular phrase when it's raining:

Instant idiot, just add water.

 

[shecky]

Today my 2 year old said "green means go jerk off." I need to start watching what I'm saying.

My variation is much cleaner and repeatable by my daughters: "It doesn't get any greener."


I'm also a big fan of, "Try the long skinny pedal on the right."

As for getting flipped off, I just clap and smile at the offending party.

 

[static]

My usual response to the finger is "F me? NO F with me!"

 

[IrregularPulse]

I've always wanted to get a programmable sign to display these sorts of messages to other drivers. The ones you could get back when I actually considered this were only those scrolling red LED type signs though.

Now however, I'm sure I could rig something up with an old LCD screen and something like this

I ALWAYS THINK OF THIS!! Never acted either. A small keyboard inside the dash with a few presets rigged to hot keys.

 

[rjwhite41]

Not to forget the douches that ride your bumper when behind you or their brake pedal when in front. I don't need lessons fella. Lead,follow,or get out of the way.

If you see the grill of my truck in your rear view mirror, it means get out of the way because you're not doing a very good job of leading.

 

[squatch]

I love the discussions that threads like this start.