Recruiters Rant *this could be a long one*

[CreamyGoodness]

I just got a rather obnoxious email from a recruiter, which is the impetus to another CreamyGoodness rant.

Part of why I am so cranky all the time is that I was brought up to be polite. Not everyone was, and indeed some professions seem to have an adversion to it, so I have gotten walked on.

No longer.

One class of people I have had to develop a limited tolerance for are recruiters.

I have to deal with recruiters to get new contracts and also, once I am signed, to help my employers get new staffing. I see firsthand, often, how helpful a good recruiter can be, and how obnoxious a bad one can be.

One thing you constantly have to keep in mind is that a recruiter cares ONLY about their commission. If you lose sight of this you are lost. Any pleasantries about your recent wedding or the fact that their stepson went to your school is merely a way of building up a (largely false) rapport, and is not to be taken seriously. You are potential walking dollar signs, nothing more. Your time will be wasted if you let it, you will get strongarmed if you let them, and your intelligence will be insulted if you let it be.

The single most vile I have ever been to another human being has been a telephone conversation I had with a recruiter. It is the first and only time I have brought an adult to tears. This is a woman who called nonstop before and after interviews (usually at places I told her I had no interest in or could not afford to work at), told me constantly about how she wouldnt be available to talk when I needed to actually do so because she would be breastfeeding (she talked so much about breastfeeding that her breasts became perhaps the only pair in America that repulsed me) and would constantly forget my salary requirements. Oh, and she would talk about numerology, riki and "crystals."

The day I had had enough is when I told her that my grandmother had been diagnosed with cancer, which is why I sounded "blase" as she put it. "I am really worried about your energy going into this interview!"

"...Excuse me?"

When she repeated herself anger took over. "Ok. Because I am a professional I will go on this interview as promised. I am not going to take any of your worthless pre-interview "coaching", I am not going to call you afterwards, and we are breaking contact after this. I have no need for a used car salesperson nor for snake oil or hair tonic. Your breasts are your husband's problem, I dont give a **** about your tits. I will not be making any more useless edits to my resume, either. It has been abundantly clear that I (and the large commission I can yield) are better off without than with you. Oh, and may I suggest in the future you invest in some f'ing post-it notes? The fact that you forget my information every time we speak does not speak to your reputation of competance.

She literally burst into tears and begged for forgiveness and for another chance. I declined, more politely than I had been before, and agreed to not spread details of the conversation with her name attached.

I hung up, took a long shower, and had to have my wife remind me when she got home that I was a good person despite reducing a lunatic to tears.

My whole point here is that when dealing with a recruiter you need to lay out your dos and don't before hand. Its not entirely unlike the yes and no list a porn star has. Let them know you will not go on an interview if you are uninterested in the position. Let them know how much coaching, interview and resume help you think you need, and stick to it. Remind them that if they get spiteful and report you to the labor board for not taking a job (they sometimes pull that crap) that you will tell everyone you meet that they did so (the dept. of labor will list them in the notice they send to you, so you have no worries of libel). Tell them also that you do not under any circumstances pick up calls from an unlisted number (another trick of theirs). While you are eager to use their help to get a job, you have been burned in the past and have no intention to have it happen again.

If they are one of the good ones, they will tell you how refreshing it is to hear. Trust me.

 

[MidTNJasonF]

My wife is a high end Database/Business Analyst with a focus in Healthcare and program development. She deals almost exclusively with contract positions that last 6 months to 2 years. It is lucrative but often a major hassle. She no longer returns calls from out of state recruiters, recruiters that use unlisted numbers even if the leave a message, or recruiters that just try to make contact before they have reviewed her background and/or matched her to a potential open position.

If she can't meet the recruiter face to face and talk about something specific she has no time for them. To flip them a bit on their ear she will often take them to lunch and refuse to let them pick up the tab. It is normally a cheap way to see just how professional they are especially if you throw them off their normal wine and dine sales pitch routine.

Oh and I might have to hide the guns because if she gets one more call from someone wanting her to sell insurance she might just kill someone.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Very ironic. Imagine talking with the HR department of a recruiting firm or the hiring company. That's who I just hung the phone up on.

I'm finding that most companies are doing away with the HR department and just straight out outsourcing on the internet to recruiters. This includes top companies of the world like Apple, Qualcomm, Google.... I work in a very technical and specialized field where you need to know "what" you're hiring for. Not just high pressure low salary cold calls.

I, also, call recrutiers car salesmen. I'm now beginning to believe most HR departments are no better. It's not about producing something it's about ripping people off. There's been a lot of articles from the west coast about immigrant visas and low pay. They thought they could save money years ago by outsourcing work to asia but then realized that produced cr*p. Now they want to bring them here and pay them peanuts. Guess what. You still get cr*p. Yea but your balance sheet looks great. Legistration actually encourages these practices. Bill Gates was whining to congress that he needs more visa to produce sweat shops in the US.

The person in HR I just got off the phone was telling me a project got delayed a couple of weeks. I tell her in order to trust her and to get any wrinkles out of the way when the projects open up they need to specify a price before I sign. They never once described what a "fair wage" was. Honestly I never trusted her. I gave them numbers that I had signed for contracts in the past. Along with excuses of not returning calls or company emails being down for a week she explains that HR gets paid a lot for this type of service being supplied to me.

To me recruiters and HR departments can all go into hell's cess pool the day after Cinco de Mayo.

 

[Grannyknot]

My first and only meeting with a recruiter was the biggest waste of 2 hours I've ever had in life.
He had contacted me about some positions I might be interested in and asked for me to meet him at his office, asked me to fill out a bunch of paperwork, take a personality survey, and blah blah blah. I asked him about the positions he mentioned and he said he wasn't at liberty to talk specifics, but he would call me back if I fit any of them.

He occasionally calls me about openings with salaries in the range of a burger flipper.

Oh, and the best thing about the meeting was when he said..."and if you are job hunting and find an opening, make sure and call me about it BEFORE YOU APPLY, because I might know someone there who can get you the job, BUT YOU HAVE TO CALL ME BEFORE YOU APPLY"...... sure thing bud.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Creamy, you made a recruiter cry & beg forgiveness by stating the truth; over the phone...
Dude, that's just AWESOME!
No, that's not sarcasm, I'm impressed.
Regards, GF.

 

[aygov]

I hate recruiters as well. I think I dealt with about 5 different agencies on my last job search and out of those only 1 of them I would actually have recommended. The rest of them couldn't get it through their thick skulls that NO CONTRACT WORK meant NO CONTRACT WORK. They kept trying to pitch me CON-HIRE stuff saying that it's pretty much like a full-time job. Hahaha..no.

My favorite out of the bunch though was one that called and when I told her what my woefully underpaid position currently paid and what I was looking for she told me it was unrealistic to expect that much of an increase. The fact that I was making way below market apparently didn't enter in to her thinking.

I ended up finding my current position, and all interviews I got, on my own. Screw recruiters...

 

[winterc]

I just respond "good luck with that" anytime I get a recruitment call or email that doesn't fit my skill set or salary requirements. Sometimes I'm a little more polite... "No thanks, good luck finding a qualified candidate at that salary."

 

[CreamyGoodness]

With all that said I do want to point out there are two out there that have been great, and I recommend them to friends on the job search.

Today I was chastised by a recruiter because we had to move the interview date back. "He just got two offers and he cannot wait. He is gone."

The tone of that makes me want punch him out. If you provided me with his phone number I would have called it and gotten it done sooner, but no... you have be "helpful" as the middle man.

 

[CoalCracker]

I feel your pain. I get the same thing. Mixed into that, Insurance Sales. I'm in IT and have certifications in the field. Why the Hell would I want to sell insurance?? After getting calls and emails from the same lady, sometimes a phone call and email in the same day. I set her straight.

 

[Conan]

I've only really dealt with one recruiter, but he worked for a company I had applied to that was opening a branch office in Buffalo. I am in the zero-experience category (about to finish my Master's), and have only dealt with salesman- true, paid-by-commision salesman once before. The guy was very nice, and I can't complain about his service until after my interview. He set up the interview for me, everything was great, and the interview went okay. However, in that interview I was referred to as "the [company I interned at] guy". That was a minor red flag, but having my resume remembered was flattering. The interviewer then asked told me they were going to work on a project for [company I interned at], and asked if I had any insight as to their operations. I told them I didn't, the interview ended shortly thereafter and I could no longer get a hold of my recruiter. I'd been used by him/ them, and it sucks. What I'm most upset about though (at least with the recruiter) is that he didn't return any of my calls even to tell me things didn't look good.

Now that I think about it I did deal with a temp agency recruiter. She was amazing from first contact through the end of my contract. I'd gladly recommend her to anyone looking in the Science/ Tech. field around me. Kyle