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'Tis the season...

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This happened tonight with every passing of each dish on the table. Turkey, Pass to the right, stuffing, pass to the right, mash potatoes, pass to the right, cucumber salad, pass to the right, rolls, pass to the right, candied yams, pass to the right, jello, pass to the right, apple sauce, pass to the right, gravy, pass to the right....

Please pass the cranberries, this turkey is drier than a fvcking 65 year old whore!!!!

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That's the absolute truth. It's like check out my Hooters for the 22nd time during dinner....

.....or the possibility of saying,

"Please pass the cleavage....I'm mean the gravy."

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Must of been difficult following the etiquette rule of eating with your mouth closed.
 
My Grandma always said it's better to let it out with shame then to hold it in with pain. So, this is what I'm getting her for Christmas.View attachment 599192

“Beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot!”

~My father in law.

However he also claims to cut the fart out of each bean.
 
“Beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot!”

~My father in law.

However he also claims to cut the fart out of each bean.
Beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot, the more you toot, the better you feel, so eat beans for every meal.

Or

Beans, beans they're good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you fart, the more you fart, the better you feel, so it's beans for every meal.

Just drink Frobscottle.

 
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