I dont think lack of flow rate is an issue with a chugger nearly full blast. Now, I'm reading this as you are talking about to slow of a flow rate. I'm I incorrect in this?
Low flow rate is indeed the issue with effective heat transfer. Just because your chugger is running full out doesn't mean you are getting enough flow through your RIMS. There are a whole lot of other factors that can affect it: pipe size, fluid temp, watt density of the heating element, even height of your mash tun above your pump all can affect flow rate.
If you have enough flow to ensure 100% of the heat goes into your wort, then the old Q=mCp∆T equation works and you can calculate the fastest ramp time possible if you know the total amount of mass in the mash tun + the piping system (grains and water combined). In practice, you'll never hit that ramp time, since you lose heat through the piping and mash tun (no insulation is perfect).
From a process control standpoint, you are correct that the process variable should be the thing you want to control, in this case mash temperature, not RIMS outlet temperature. A PID loop sensing actual mash temperature, in theory, will, if tuned properly, allow you to hit your target mash temperature with minimal "off" time of the heater and minimal temperature overshoot.
The real problem with it is tuning the PID loop. Let's say you tune the PID to work perfectly for your favorite 5 gallon recipe that uses 12 lbs of grain, a grist-to-water ratio of 1.25 qt/lb, and a single rest at 152°F. You set your PID parameters such that you hit your target temperatures as fast as possible and it all works great. Next brew session, you do a Dopplebock, with 20 lbs of grain, 1 qt/lb in order to fit it all in your mash tun, a protein rest at 121°F, and saccarification rest at 154°F. Your carefully selected PID parameters don't work anymore, since your flow rate, mass of grain and water, and temperatures are all different.
Using the RIMS outlet as your process control variable minimizes the affect of all those factors by keeping the delay time between output (heater) and input (temperature) as short as possible. This saves you from having to change your PID tuning for different brew sessions. Your system is simpler (One heater, one sensor), and works well for a wide variety of recipes. It's an engineering compromise - simplicity and flexibility vs. complexity and maximum ramp times.