Overheard At Work...

[Sheboyganjohn]

The first week of summer break for the highschool kids. My female boss's cell phone ran, it was home, she ingnored it. Rang three more times in a row from home, so she answered it and it was her teen daughter talking about her teen son. It was one of those Bob Newheart type phone calls.

Yes, o.k. o.k calm down, he what, ok put him on the phone.

(pause)

hello, no, no, STOP YELLING. (pause) I DON"T CARE NOW TAKE THE REMOTE OUT OF YOUR PANTS AND GIVE IT BACK TO YOUR SISTER.

We laughed about that one for years.

 

[Goofynewfie]

From a coworker
" my dad like dogs so much he doesn't eat them anymore"

 

[CHefJohnboyardee]

"I want my woody to smell like lemon pledge!"

Bartender talking to the janitor...

 

[Bedlam]

I've got a new one! A colleague told me about a conversation he overheard at a Hardee's in Lebannon, VA between a little old man and woman talking about an upcoming church tent revival:

"Well, I don't know what they're using our tithes for, if we have to bring our own snakes..."

 

[CoalCracker]

"Pull the skin back and put it in your mouth." One coworker telling another about how to eat the fresh bacon he smoked this weekend... Literally just happened.

 

[EndOfLine]

"First of all, I like to poop naked... so I can feel free. When I start the wipe process, I put one leg on the sink, and use one hand to help spread, so I can get a good ol' cleaning done"


I am crying of laughter still!

I work at a gym. so I have no shortage of great stuff.

 

[OrdinaryAvgGuy]

you'd be surprised how often I hear" I hate it when they forget to put the dead bodies away" while I'm at work

Mortician?

 

[Goofynewfie]

Mortician?

No, I work at a university

 

[OrdinaryAvgGuy]

No, I work at a university

AAH, medical school.

 

[dkwolf]

"I mean, really... at our age, who gives hickeys anymore? I'm 25 -- that's a junior high move"

Our office "playa", after getting ribbed about the obvious reminder of his weekend.