Obnoxious Football Trash Talk Thread

[Cape Brewing]

the only fans i'd love to donkey punch are twins fans. dumbest, fattest, ugliest fans in existence.

Sooooooooo... you're saying you want to have sex from behind with the dumbest, fattest and ugliest people (Twins fans by your account)... and then punch them in the back of the head?

why not just punch them instead?

 

[motobrewer]

Sooooooooo... you're saying you want to have sex from behind with the dumbest, fattest and ugliest people (Twins fans by your account)... and then punch them in the back of the head?

why not just punch them instead?

as soon as I hit "post" i knew this was coming.

why not quick edit? to see you predictable you are

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

I love this thread.

 

[the_bird]

I've never understood the concept of the donkey punch. Seriously, can someone explain it to me? Back in the pre-marriage days, if I got a girl to let me **** her, I sure as hell would like the option to be able to **** that girl a second time (and maybe a third, and a fourth time). Donkey punch would sure seem to eliminate that as a possibility.

Has there ever actually BEEN a donkey-punch executed (outside of some really ugly porn)? I'm convinced that donkey-punching is a purely theoretical exercise invented by 13-year old boys and frat boys with the maturity of 13-year olds.

 

[motobrewer]

nothing wrong with theoretical abuse.

especially when targeted towards twins fans.

 

[HoppyDaze]

the donkey punch work great, but you have to find that special girl

 

[Dwain]

Back in the pre-marriage days, if I got a girl to let me **** her, I sure as hell would like the option to be able to **** that girl a second time (and maybe a third, and a fourth time). Donkey punch would sure seem to eliminate that as a possibility.

In today's market, it is much easier to find sex. They talk about the "sexual revolution" in the 60's & 70's. Those days can't hold a candle to today's promiscuity. Having said that, I just don't see doing it (donkey punch). Although it sounds funny.

A friend of mine said that when he was in the Navy, they took liberty in Subik (sp?) Bay. He said they would pick up the hookers in Po city and get them roaring drunk on salty dogs. When they got back to the room, they would have sex then they would mix the hookers another drink. This one would be about 1/2 salt water and grapefruit juice. When she bent over the toilet to puke, they went anal. They called it "Salty Dog going in the back door".

 

[noggins]

This is my kinda thread, trash talking football. Never has there been a more pointless game in the history of mankind. Watchin a buncha over-paid spoilled little pieces of ass run around for a couple hours throwing balls until one of em gets pissed enough to break a rule of some kind and get put into time out. I got more probably, but let's start with that.

 

[motobrewer]

...little pieces of ass...

some issues there...

go back to page one if you wanna read about hating football.

 

[noggins]

some issues there...

yeah...that came out wrong...I was gonna say little pieces of ****, but decided ass was a funnier word than ****...damn ass whore

 

[noggins]

There was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy some 5-6 years old. The relationship b/w the couple was turning sour.

So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than carry on such a relationship.

So they consulted a lawyer. But the big question was who would have the kid. In the hearing in the court. It was decided that this choice should be left on the kid. So the judge asked "Son, would you like to stay with your mummy?"

Kid said,"No, mummy beats me" ( So the judge asked "Then, would you like to stay with your papa then ?" Kid said, "No, papa beats me" ( Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not able to decide what to do... after pondering for some time he smiled with the ideas he had in his mind about the child......

And he gave the judgment that the kid would stay with your mom, cause football sucks and she knows about sucking.

 

[motobrewer]

wow, that was the dumbest thing i've heard in a long time.

was the kid a football player? was the mom a football player? what did football have to do with the joke at all?

 

[user 574]

You have to pay for membership because you made me read that.

 

[KCBrewer]

And he gave the judgment that the kid would stay with your mom, cause football sucks and she knows about sucking.

I, uh, oh forget it. What the phuk are you talking about?

 

[dunnright00]

Actually they're borderline intolerable (I submit this thread as exhibit A)...in the same way Yankees fans are. BECAUSE they attribute the success of their team to themselves. A Bieber-doo and cutoff hoodie does not a winner make.

This. Every time I actually start to give in and say, damn! The pats are pretty damn good, Belichek really knows how to coach, Brady has dreamy hair... (Wait, scratch that last part) Then I look at their fans and I say Nope!

This thread is (not the only one but) a good example. Same with Red Sox fans.
How long were you the laughing stock of MLB, then you win a couple now you're God's gift to the diamond?

 

[the_bird]

This thread is (not the only one but) a good example. Same with Red Sox fans.
How long were you the laughing stock of MLB, then you win a couple now you're God's gift to the diamond?

You're just pissed because the Sox just stole your best ****ing player

 

[HerotBrewer]

Rugby is a man's sport. My British wife says American football is for pansies.

 

[Seabee John]

I rarely post in here... just because I'm not that much into football....
BUT,

Go Navy!.... 9 years running!

 

[Marko73]

Best NFL season in a long time. Great story lines, a bunch of great games, and I think the playoffs will be the best in a long long time.

 

[ChshreCat]

Best NFL season in a long time. Great story lines, a bunch of great games, and I think the playoffs will be the best in a long long time.

I saw it as one of the worst seasons in a long time, but my team's in the NFC West. Four teams all in rebuilding mode at the same time. Well, three teams rebuilding plus the 49ers who just suck anyway.

 

[user 574]

Giants-Vikings moved to Monday...

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/09000...nday-because-of-snowstorm?module=HP_headlines


Cool, now put the Packer-Lions game on Fox today instead. Don't make me drive out to the bar in this f***ing weather.

 

[philrose]

I saw it as one of the worst seasons in a long time, but my team's in the NFC West. Four teams all in rebuilding mode at the same time. Well, three teams rebuilding plus the 49ers who just suck anyway.

Lol 49rs thught they were ready to roll.

Over/under on weeks until singletary is gone?

 

[Marko73]

I saw it as one of the worst seasons in a long time, but my team's in the NFC West. Four teams all in rebuilding mode at the same time. Well, three teams rebuilding plus the 49ers who just suck anyway.

Yeah, I have a lot of guys on my fantasy team from the NFC west so I have followed that division. Has a team with a record under 500 ever gone to the playoffs? Could happen. . . .

 

[the_bird]

Yeah, I have a lot of guys on my fantasy team from the NFC west so I have followed that division. Has a team with a record under 500 ever gone to the playoffs? Could happen. . . .

Jon Gruden during a MNF broadcast who was saying, "The commissioner will NEVER let that happen! They won't let a team with a sub-.500 record into the playoffs, even if they win the division! They'll change the rules!"

One of those statements that really makes me wonder... exactly how smart IS Gruden, anyway? It wasn't like he was joking around, he was dead serious. Must have been that terrible Arizona-San Fran game.

When the divisions are only four teams, it's inevitable that not all that infrequently, those four teams are all going to suck concurrently. Amazing, though, how many people were projecting that the 49ers were a Super Bowl contender, apparently forgetting that yeah, the QB position is a pretty important one.

 

[Marko73]

Yeah, there was all sorts of hype around the 49ers between Crabtree, Davis, Gore and Alex Smith coming on late in the season last year. Alex Smith wasn't very good this year even before he got injured. I think they are a quarterback (and possibly a coach) away from being a pretty solid team.

 

[motobrewer]

Jon Gruden during a MNF broadcast who was saying, "The commissioner will NEVER let that happen! They won't let a team with a sub-.500 record into the playoffs, even if they win the division! They'll change the rules!"

i don't see why it'd be such a big deal. if they are a sub-500 team, they'll get eliminated pretty quickly. and if they don't, it'll be a great Cinderella story that'll sell merch.

 

[the_bird]

I agree. No more unfair, frankly, than the fact that if the season ended today, the JETS would have to go on the road and play in Jacksonville as the wildcard. If you're going to have divisions, you can't ignore them!

I'm rooting for St. Louis, though - Bradford's the real deal. Rookie season, he's played twelve games and really been good in eight or nine of them. Had three stinkers (including the one game - against DETROIT! when I stared him in FFB). One other game when he only threw for 126 yards and completed half his passes, but had no picks and 2 TDs.

You look at other QBs who's been picked #1 overall...

Outplaying Matt Stafford's rookie year, by a lot
FAR better than anything JaMarcus Russell ever did
Numbers are basically the same as Alex Smith *finally* put up last year, when the pundits though he was good enough to get them to the Super Bowl
Took Eli Manning five years to get a QB rating >80
A little higher rating than Carson Palmer had his first season, and a much better TD/INT ratio
David Carr... please
Michael-Mike Vick; his own animal (so to speak), didn't play much his first year
Tim Couch... please
Peyton Manning; Bradford's QB rating is higher than Manning's during his rookie year, and it was pretty clear from the get-go than Peyton was the real deal
Bledsoe; up-and-down rookie year, not as good as Bradford

For a rookie QB to come in, #1 overall... crappy team around him, one of the worst offensive lines EVER last year, asked to start basically from day 1... you've got to be impressed.

St. Louis is going to be a pretty good team in the not-too-distant future.

 

[dataz722]

Jon Gruden during a MNF broadcast who was saying, "The commissioner will NEVER let that happen! They won't let a team with a sub-.500 record into the playoffs, even if they win the division! They'll change the rules!"

One of those statements that really makes me wonder... exactly how smart IS Gruden, anyway? It wasn't like he was joking around, he was dead serious. Must have been that terrible Arizona-San Fran game.

When the divisions are only four teams, it's inevitable that not all that infrequently, those four teams are all going to suck concurrently. Amazing, though, how many people were projecting that the 49ers were a Super Bowl contender, apparently forgetting that yeah, the QB position is a pretty important one.

I think it was that only 2 teams have ever made the playoffs at .500 and never has a team under made it. And you think this year is bad for the NFC west then next year is going to be worse. They really should pull their playoff spot next year and give the NFC 3 wild cards. I will be really surprised if any team gets more than 6 wins. That division has to play both the NFC East and AFC North. That right there is probably 6 losses for each team.

 

[the_bird]

You kidding, Dataz? St. Louis should win at least eight games THIS season (they've still got to play Seattle and San Fran). Doubt they knock off New Orleans, but the Kansas City game could be good.

Good QBs always get a *lot* better between their rookie and second seasons. I could easily see them at nine or ten wins next season.

In fact, you wanna bet on it?

EDIT: I don't care what division they're playing next season, you can't tell which divisions are actually any good until halfway through the season. AFC North has two good teams and two bad teams. NFC East, same deal. Add up all the wins and losses this year for those two divisions, what do you get?

49-47.

How's that scary?

 

[bob1852]

Oh, the irony...