Need a new SWMBO dammit!

[TeufelBrew]

Damned if she didn't go off the deep end!!!!!!

Two freaking criteria for dating lo, those many years ago.
1) Not Stupid. Qualified nicely here. Has at least one masters degree. Ergo Sum, capable of playing the game and able to learn in some capacity.

2) Not Crazy. Mudder Fargin DANGER Will Robinson!!!!!!!
Bat ****, over the wall, needing a labotamy CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY!

I qoute, "You are not doing what I thought you would do when we got married. I expected you to be different. No way am I going to take time off work to see a counselor and my children come first, so don't expect me to have them wait in some lobby while we hash out our problems."

Me, "We can take them to your mom's, your brother's or get a friend to stay with them while we figure some things out."

Her, "I will not place my kids second."

Ok.

On top of all the other crap and a consistent unwillingness to compromise on ANYTHING, I have begun looking on-line for an apartment. Fukc this noise.

Your stinking cognitive disonance is not my freaking problem biotch!

Thanks for letting me vent. I promise not to go postal, but I need a place to vent, both safely and anonymously.

 

[The Pol]

Sorry man... Spouses come before kids, period. They have to, or the kids wont have a mom and dad under the same roof. Sounds like she has made her choice, that is a real shame.

 

[Fingers]

I can't stand unreasonable or irrational. Since she's not stupid, then she's deliberately driving you away. Give her what she wants and see what happens.

 

[The Pol]

I can't stand unreasonable or irrational. Since she's not stupid, then she's deliberately driving you away. Give her what she wants and see what happens.

This is clear... this is intentional, she isnt stupid.

 

[TeufelBrew]

Sorry man... Spouses come before kids, period. They have to, or the kids wont have a mom and dad under the same roof. Sounds like she has made her choice, that is a real shame.

Well, NO. Second marriage for us both. We know that kids have no choice in the living situation and that stability and consistency are paramount for them. However, if we need time to make us better as a parenting/couple unit, then we have done so before. Now things have changed. She was called on manipulative/controlling behaviour and is unwilling to deal with the issue. Ok. Just don't blame me for things being tough right now.

 

[Dalarast]

Yep. Take care of your kids; but see if there is anyway to convince her to take care of the marriage as well..

If not get yourself a nice mail ordered bridge and check the master degree and not Mudder Fargin DANGER Will Robinson Crazy... But I think all women are crazy in some aspect; love my wife but she can be a loony sometimes.

 

[nakros]

All women are crazy. It all comes down to whether or not you can deal and put up with their special brand of crazy.

 

[The Pol]

Well, NO. Second marriage for us both. We know that kids have no choice in the living situation and that stability and consistency are paramount for them. However, if we need time to make us better as a parenting/couple unit, then we have done so before. Now things have changed. She was called on manipulative/controlling behaviour and is unwilling to deal with the issue. Ok. Just don't blame me for things being tough right now.

Dude, chill, I didnt blame you, I dont know what the hell you are talking about now.

 

[Dwain]

Spouses come before kids, period. They have to, or the kids wont have a mom and dad under the same roof.

Yeah, gotta call BS. If the other perty wants out/goes nuts, nothing you can do. You can only control what you do. To quote a friend of mine, "Spouses come and go, kids are forever.".

 

[The Pol]

Yeah, gotta call BS. If the other perty wants out/goes nuts, nothing you can do. You can only control what you do. To quote a friend of mine, "Spouses come and go, kids are forever.".

You have no idea what I said... but that is okay, I understand it.

 

[Shooter]

Dude, chill, I didnt blame you, I dont know what the hell you are talking about now.

Um, I kind of read that "just don't blame me" comment as being aimed at SWMBO...

 

[The Pol]

Spousal relationships are #1 in a family, then the kids are #2. If she wants to use the lame excuse that "the kids come first" to avoid working on her #1 family relationship... that is wrong. And since she is smart, IMHO, this means she has made her choice.

I feel for you dude, I do... I hope that this changes, I hope that there is some breakthrough.

My wife is my life partner, I am to love her as God loved His church... which means that no person on this planet comes before her. We are one in marriage.

If my priority is her, and her priority is me... nothing can come between us. I am saddened that your SWMBO wont give it her all, for you and your kids. You are in our prayers.

 

[zman]

Well if you need someone to go to the Wynkoop to drink beers with and play a game of Pool, or go chill at the Great Divide, the Cheesy Monk...just holla!!

 

[dunnright00]

All women are crazy. It all comes down to whether or not you can deal and put up with their special brand of crazy.

+1



34567890

 

[jmendez29]

Sorry man... Spouses come before kids, period. They have to, or the kids wont have a mom and dad under the same roof. Sounds like she has made her choice, that is a real shame.

I hear what you're saying. You love your kids unconditionally. You choose to love your spouse. With that in mind, the love you have for your children can bear more stress than the love you have for your spouse before failure. Which means that you MUST put more effort into the relationship with your spouse than you put into the one with your children.

At least in theory. This doesn't work with everyone. Seems like some people just take for granted that others will be there for them. I'd be willing to bet that she will be pissed at him for abandoning her, when in truth, she abandoned the relationship a long time ago with her decisions and absolution.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

All women are crazy. It all comes down to whether or not you can deal and put up with their special brand of crazy.

Yep, in the immortal words of Chief Wiggum: "Why are the pretty ones always insane?" Here's something you may find useful: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1559500697/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20
OR: http://www.amazon.com/dp/0452273730/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20 Regards, GF.

 

[shrades]

I have been done that road also before. They just seem to go off the deep end now and then. I hope things will work out, but if there is stress between you and the women, the kids will see it.

 

[conpewter]

Spousal relationships are #1 in a family, then the kids are #2. If she wants to use the lame excuse that "the kids come first" to avoid working on her #1 family relationship... that is wrong. And since she is smart, IMHO, this means she has made her choice.

I feel for you dude, I do... I hope that this changes, I hope that there is some breakthrough.

My wife is my life partner, I am to love her as God loved His church... which means that no person on this planet comes before her. We are one in marriage.

If my priority is her, and her priority is me... nothing can come between us. I am saddened that your SWMBO wont give it her all, for you and your kids. You are in our prayers.

This is how I've always thought as well, and even what the preacher told us in pre-marital counseling. I don't know what he can do in this case to convince his wife of that, but it's the truth.

 

[The Pol]

This is how I've always thought as well, and even what the preacher told us in pre-marital counseling. I don't know what he can do in this case to convince his wife of that, but it's the truth.

Yeah, I think she has made up her mind on the matter from the OP's post. Not saying you can make anyone do anything. Biblically (nasty word I know) relationships take a certain order, for a reason. God, Spouse, Children... in that order

 

[carrotmalt]

Spousal relationships are #1 in a family, then the kids are #2. If she wants to use the lame excuse that "the kids come first" to avoid working on her #1 family relationship... that is wrong. And since she is smart, IMHO, this means she has made her choice.

I feel for you dude, I do... I hope that this changes, I hope that there is some breakthrough.

My wife is my life partner, I am to love her as God loved His church... which means that no person on this planet comes before her. We are one in marriage.

If my priority is her, and her priority is me... nothing can come between us. I am saddened that your SWMBO wont give it her all, for you and your kids. You are in our prayers.

+1!!!

I hope you two can work it out.

 

[Homercidal]

Spousal relationships are #1 in a family, then the kids are #2. If she wants to use the lame excuse that "the kids come first" to avoid working on her #1 family relationship... that is wrong. And since she is smart, IMHO, this means she has made her choice.

I feel for you dude, I do... I hope that this changes, I hope that there is some breakthrough.

My wife is my life partner, I am to love her as God loved His church... which means that no person on this planet comes before her. We are one in marriage.

If my priority is her, and her priority is me... nothing can come between us. I am saddened that your SWMBO wont give it her all, for you and your kids. You are in our prayers.

+1

The basis of a family comes from the love of the married couple. The children will survive. Most likely if they are dropped off at a relation's house for a few hours, they will have a good time and not even know the difference anyway.

Also, even if two are fighting, they can still show love for the children. It's not like they are mutually exclusive. She can think of it as putting the kids second, but actually, it's thinking of doing what's right for the kids in the end.

 

[jmendez29]

To that extent, she needs to realize that in its own way, this would be putting the kids first. In the same way as going to work is providing for her kids, thereby putting them first.

But for the controlling and manipulative type, arguing will only steel their will against anything they haven't personally decided. Trying to point this out will be difficult at best.

 

[Keff]

All women are crazy. It all comes down to whether or not you can deal and put up with their special brand of crazy.

Oh wow. That is awesome. I was laughing hard.