My Girlfriend is out of town for a week, what should I mash...

[DrJerryrigger]

so I'm rather new to brewing; I've mashed three times and it's gone quite well considering. I'm planing on mashing at lest once, but maybe three times, in the next week, with stuff I have. I'm a little conflicted as to my approach; thus far I've mostly been playing around in a hard to replicate way (though I do take extensive notes). Due to the use of home malted/toasted grain it's nearly impossible to get the same results. I would like to try something a little out there (like a acorn or dog food mash) but I'd also like to get good at mashing something more traditional.
Due to equipment limitations I have been aiming at a 3 gal batch in the past, I may be able to pull off a 5, but that would be quite complicated.
What I have:
grain:
1lb choc. rye
1lb light lager malt
5lb unmalted hard red winter wheat (can be malted in three days notice)
1lb unmalted hulled rye
2lb unmalted hulled barley
currently home malting (all can be toasted):
4lb hulled barley (only about 25% will malt)
1lb red winter wheat (95% will malt)
4oz rye (don't know how much, if any will malt, & I'm a little scared some ergot may grow on it)
other:
lots of white rice
4lb cous-cous
2lb old pasta I want gone
30lb corn (the cheap stuff for feeding the birds)

Hops:
.5oz Cascaden
1oz Zeus ~ 14%
1oz magnum ~ 14%
2oz mixed used for dry hopping, still good for some bitters
4oz mystery mix

Other stuff
40lb acorns (still need to be shelled and boiled 36 times)
50lb old dog-food (this could be interesting....)
2/3 bushel butternut squash
1 hubberd squash
Good assortment of herbs & spices
lots of hot peppers from the garden

Yeast:
Nottingham
Bottom of a Sierra pale ale in a sterilized jar
Lavins 1118
Flechman's bread yeast
Whatever is in the air
I'd consider buying a lager yest

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

you want to make beer out of dog food??

 

[the_bird]

I don't know what you should mash, but you need to acquire your yeast from a hooker.

 

[IrregularPulse]

If I had a week and could afford it, I'd buy 4-5 recipes online and brew 4-5 solid batches.

 

[DrJerryrigger]

you want to make beer out of dog food??

It's got a lot of mashible grain in it, and the meat part will do something interesting, likely bad, but there is really only one way to find out.

 

[DrJerryrigger]

If I had a week and could afford it, I'd buy 4-5 recipes online and brew 4-5 solid batches.

Unfortunately i can't afford that, but I do have the time....

 

[maida7]

any pics? Of the girlfriend that is

 

[the_bird]

... better to see pictures of the hooker he's getting.

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

Old Rover's Stout:

5 lbs old dog food
1 lb light lager malt
5 lbs home malted hulled barley
1 lb wheat malt
1 lbs chocolate rye

1 oz zeus @ 60 mins
1 oz magnum @ 60 mins
1 oz mystery mix at 15
1 oz mystery mix at flameout

Pitch rehydrated Nottingham

Dry hop with 4 oz of roasted acorns in secondary for 1 week.

 

[smizak]

Old Rover's Stout:

5 lbs old dog food
1 lb light lager malt
5 lbs home malted hulled barley
1 lb wheat malt
1 lbs chocolate rye

1 oz zeus @ 60 mins
1 oz magnum @ 60 mins
1 oz mystery mix at 15
1 oz mystery mix at flameout

Pitch rehydrated Nottingham

Dry hop with 4 oz of roasted acorns in secondary for 1 week.

Lol.

 

[DrJerryrigger]

I don't know what you should mash, but you need to acquire your yeast from a hooker.

Do you think I should go to Holyoak for more of an ale yeast of Pitsfield for more of a lager?

 

[DrJerryrigger]

Old Rover's Stout:

5 lbs old dog food
1 lb light lager malt
5 lbs home malted hulled barley
1 lb wheat malt
1 lbs chocolate rye

1 oz zeus @ 60 mins
1 oz magnum @ 60 mins
1 oz mystery mix at 15
1 oz mystery mix at flameout

Pitch rehydrated Nottingham

Dry hop with 4 oz of roasted acorns in secondary for 1 week.

I like it... but I don't know about the dry hopping part.

 

[the_bird]

Do you think I should go to Holyoak for more of an ale yeast of Pitsfield for more of a lager?

Holyoke; you don't want to be a bottom-fermenter, do you?

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

 

[DrJerryrigger]

in all seriousness (no really; I'm not kidding), I'm thinking a dog food beer would be best if lagered a really long time so it brakes down more; so it doesn't taste like dog food, and it doesn't give me food poisoning. But an aged ale may be better, so the ABV gets up there fast.

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

in all seriousness (no really; I'm not kidding), I'm thinking a dog food beer would be best if lagered a really long time so it brakes down more; so it doesn't taste like dog food, and it doesn't give me food poisoning. But an aged ale may be better, so the ABV gets up there fast.

Make sure whatever base grain you use has enough diastatic power to convert the dogfood and any other adjuncts you use. Rice hulls for sure, the dog food will probably turn to mush in the mash tun. Also, you may consider adding some simple sugar to the boil to boost the ABV to help prevent any spoilage post fermentation.

 

[DrJerryrigger]

Okay so the pole is showing dog food way ahead, and I think I may just have to go with the majority (that makes me cool, right?). I'm hoping a brewing friend of mine gets back to me on this, as I'd rather do this mash outside (an option at his house, but not mine).
If I do end up doing it at my place, I'm thinking of going with a very small batch; one or two gal. It will be rather complicated to lauter, but I have my tricks (I don't have a proper mill, so I'm used to complications).
Another complication I thought of today: fat content. Possible solution: after lautering put it in the fridge over night, and with some luck; most will float to the top and harden up. This step may also be helpful in removing the junk that will settle out.
Any more thoughts on this would be great, or people voting for a more reasonable choice.

 

[Beermaker]

Her gorgeous girlfriends.....

 

[buzzkill]

Her gorgeous girlfriends.....

YES! for the win.....

 

[IrregularPulse]

Her gorgeous girlfriends.....

+2

 

[twigboy2000]

Might want to google a bit before making beer out of dog food:
http://www.bornfreeusa.org/facts.php?more=1&p=359

Nasty stuff really...

 

[maida7]

Her gorgeous girlfriends.....

This thread is useless without pics!

 

[bad coffee]

First, put the crack pipe down.

Why not just do your first decoction? Or maybe a partigyle?

Stop thinking about random stuff to 'mash' when you're drunk. You said you've only done three mashes. Get your process down and your efficiency up and then start F'ing around with random stuff. (I suggest starting with a Ghost Chili.)

To get rid of the pasta get two jars of your favorite sauce. Heat the two jars in a pot, and add a full stick of butter. Cook the pasta al dente, mix in the sauce, dump in a baking pan, cover with cheese, and bake till the cheese is bubbling. It should be enough to sustain you for the week she's gone.

B

 

[DrJerryrigger]

Might want to google a bit before making beer out of dog food:
http://www.bornfreeusa.org/facts.php?more=1&p=359

Nasty stuff really...

Chicken meal is a fine ingredient.

First, put the crack pipe down.

Why not just do your first decoction? Or maybe a partigyle?

Stop thinking about random stuff to 'mash' when you're drunk. You said you've only done three mashes. Get your process down and your efficiency up and then start F'ing around with random stuff. (I suggest starting with a Ghost Chili.)

To get rid of the pasta get two jars of your favorite sauce. Heat the two jars in a pot, and add a full stick of butter. Cook the pasta al dente, mix in the sauce, dump in a baking pan, cover with cheese, and bake till the cheese is bubbling. It should be enough to sustain you for the week she's gone.

B

Thanks for the reply! I have been wanting to try a partigyle, and it would give me a few brews to play with & I ferment in 4L wine jugs anyway. And just for the hell of it I can boil one (or half of one) of the spargs with some low grade meat product (I'm rather curious what will happen after all this thinking about it for the last few days)

Not a bad idea for the pasta (though it expired 2 years ago), I don't know if I'll use that, but I'm making myself a bucket of slop to last out the week.

Now I'm off to harvest some grapes I found growing by an old cellar hole (didn't have a bag yesterday).

 

[jgln]

Might want to google a bit before making beer out of dog food:
http://www.bornfreeusa.org/facts.php?more=1&p=359

Nasty stuff really...

Mmmmmm......unborn babies.


However, about 50% of every food animal does not get used in human foods. Whatever remains of the carcass — heads, feet, bones, blood, intestines, lungs, spleens, livers, ligaments, fat trimmings, unborn babies, and other parts not generally consumed by humans — is used in pet food, animal feed, fertilizer, industrial lubricants, soap, rubber, and other products. These “other parts” are known as “by-products.” By-products are used in feed for poultry and livestock as well as in pet food.

Remember too, a dog is less likely to get sick from something that would make us sick.

 

[DrJerryrigger]

Okay, so a plan is forming. I'll do a simple parti-gyle with grains, giving me a few things to ferment. I will use wild yeast off of some grapes I just picked, if this project go well I'll have several yeast samples that need to be test brewed. If it doesn't work out (or not in time) I'll just use Nottingham.
As for the dog food, a friend of mine is quite interested in this idea. He is a extract brewer and uses wood fire for his boil. I'd like to try my hand at mashing over fire, but using trash (plus a little malt) would be fitting for the first go of it. This will clearly be a smelly un-spargeable mess (and I don't really have a lauter tun, so I may try a grain bag mash.

 

[Northcalais40]

Umm,... Yes, that is a good idea. Yes it is.

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

does your girlfriend know that you're interested in drinking fermented dog food extract?

 

[DrJerryrigger]

does your girlfriend know that you're interested in drinking fermented dog food extract?

I might have let on, but more importantly, in two months will she just take a sip of a beer I pour her, or will she look at me with shifty eyes as she sniffs it?

 

[DrJerryrigger]

Umm,... Yes, that is a good idea. Yes it is.

I'm not sure if this is sarcasm, a major flaw with typed communication...

 

[lumpher]

I might have let on, but more importantly, in two months will she just take a sip of a beer I pour her, or will she look at me with shifty eyes as she sniffs it?

red rover, red rover, send suzie right over... i guess after all these posts, you're serious about the dog food? oh well... for yeast, go to a horse pasture, and find some horse-plop. under there, there should be these little things that look like nuclear explosions called mushrooms. after you boil this mess, and come up with a very fatty preservative-loaded crud, and have to throw it out, take these mushrooms, dry them out, grind them, put them in rolling papers, and light :fro:

 

[rexbanner]

turbate

 

[DrJerryrigger]

red rover, red rover, send suzie right over... i guess after all these posts, you're serious about the dog food? oh well... for yeast, go to a horse pasture, and find some horse-plop. under there, there should be these little things that look like nuclear explosions called mushrooms. after you boil this mess, and come up with a very fatty preservative-loaded crud, and have to throw it out, take these mushrooms, dry them out, grind them, put them in rolling papers, and light :fro:

Ha ha, I thought they worked better if you just ate them... not that I would know anything about that... :cross:

 

[DrJerryrigger]

so for the dog food: I'm malting 6lbs of wheat for some enzymes. I don't think I'll bother doing anything to it, just hope it's at a good stage when it gets used. Oh god, this is going to have to be the worst hooch ever (I'll have to take pics).

The rest of the the stuff I listed in the beginning as malting have reached a good root size, and I'm working on drying them.
If any one has some good mash schedules for a parti-gyle they would be quite appreciated!

 

[JasonToews]

I don't know what you should mash, but you need to acquire your yeast from a hooker.

Brilliant, friggin Brilliant! hahahahah