Subsailor
Life is Tough, Stupid makes it Tougher
You're too slow of a humper if you can keep tempo with that song
I guess the would be better than the Minute Waltz or maybe Flight of the Bumble Bee!
You're too slow of a humper if you can keep tempo with that song
CreamyGoodness said:Why do you think your sister calls me "metronome"?
CreamyGoodness said:More fun with farts. I recently discovered that a wife cuddling up to your back will be enraged when you fart on her leg.
CreamyGoodness said:More fun with farts. I recently discovered that a wife cuddling up to your back will be enraged when you fart on her leg.
So you are the little spoon? What an absolute vagina
Swmbo is a hair stylist, so she has fake heads for practice. They have real hair and eyes that just stare into your soul. I have been known on occasion to place them in the bed when I leave for work, or put them on the window sill in the shower and close the curtain. I think they are really creepy so she will get me back. She put one on the phone pedestal in the hall one night while I was in bed. She then came to bed, waited until I was asleep and nudged me. "Did you hear that? " she said. So I get up, grab the 45 and the flashlight, and start to clear the house. I almost shot it.
I like to coat the top two stairs with Crisco.
I have long held suspicions about the male species and you gentlemen have just confirmed it.
And since I signed a blood oath to all my sisters of the world, I must spread my new found knowledge.
You see what happens on HBT, doesn't necessarily stay on HBT...
( cue evil laugh )
I have long held suspicions about the male species and you gentlemen have just confirmed it.
And since I signed a blood oath to all my sisters of the world, I must spread my new found knowledge.
You see what happens on HBT, doesn't necessarily stay on HBT...
( cue evil laugh )
What a ***** @ 2:40!
Sherpa FE said:Saw this one on the internet,
While the wife is taking a shower, grab her hair dryer and lay on the bed naked while drying your junk. When she comes out, and asks what the heck you are doing, just reply. "Heating up your dinner"
I used to scare the crap out of my wife, until she started hitting back. I am a little more cautious now, for her being 5'3 she can pack a punch.
Make up a silly nickname for SWMBO. Some favorites:
"Boobs"
"Bewbtacular"
and if I really want to press my luck
"Tits McGee"
Yeah I call mine Boobie or She hates in. Though the worst is that her name is Vanessa and her mother and I both call he Ness. I took to calling her Nessticles. That didn't last long.:cross:
Tnoodle said:Swmbo is a hair stylist, so she has fake heads for practice. They have real hair and eyes that just stare into your soul. I have been known on occasion to place them in the bed when I leave for work, or put them on the window sill in the shower and close the curtain. I think they are really creepy so she will get me back. She put one on the phone pedestal in the hall one night while I was in bed. She then came to bed, waited until I was asleep and nudged me. "Did you hear that? " she said. So I get up, grab the 45 and the flashlight, and start to clear the house. I almost shot it.
Mine's named Venessa too. I have called her all kinds of dumb nicknames. My iPhone kept correcting "Ness" to "Mess" so now she is just Mess.
Girlfriends name is Rachelle, family and friends all call her Rae. So naturally I made up a new nickname from that "Rae-tard". She's not to impressed that it has stuck for the past year or so.
This is great. And being that I'm over 6'6" and my wife is 5'5" I get things for her a LOT. My MO before has always to get the item down while looking deeply and wistfully into her eyes while saying "As you wish" as I very slowly give her what she asked for, but I am definitely going to give this a shot.russrob81 said:Just off top of my head my regulars are. When she asks me to get something out of a cabinet ill get the wrong thing. She says no so I get something else usually followed by "come on Rob" then I'll get the first wrong thing again and called an ass
Saw this one on the internet,
While the wife is taking a shower, grab her hair dryer and lay on the bed naked while drying your junk. When she comes out, and asks what the heck you are doing, just reply. "Heating up your dinner"
Ask her if she wants (insert anything here) when she replies yes respond "How does it feel to want? " I can catch her 1-2 times a year now but still funny after 17 years
... it won't be so funny when she gets revenge, the next time she asks if you want a blowjob.
... still funny after 17 years
... we been together for 22 years, married for 13 as of July 1st.
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