Massachusetts Masstoberfest 2016 Ten years and going strong.

[paulthenurse]

Me. 1972-ish.
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F U

The stupid expression on my face stayed the same.

 

[day_trippr]

Hey Tripper, you coming?

Ugh, it's a 50/50 deal right now. My youngest son is getting married next weekend and there's been way more stuff involving me than I thought I signed up for when I helped create him

If the Spousal Unit isn't half-crazed with more "We gotta do's" I may be able to escape for a few hours...

Cheers!

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

I'm sorry but I read that post several times and couldn't find "I'll be glued to the TV all weekend long waiting for the return of GOAT to slaughter the Browns" Did you bring up this important date during the family meetings? Maybe the perfect time for an unforgettable first father/son conversation...

 

[paulthenurse]

You HAVE had the Tom Brady talk, right. He's getting married. If not now, when?

 

[day_trippr]

Riiight. "The Talk".

I hit "that age" a ways back where all my kids are certain they know more about life and love than me.
At this point they just nod and then do whatever makes sense to them.

The back-story on this wedding is 14 friggin' years long, and it's a miracle I didn't shoot both of them years ago.

Then there'd be no question where I'd be on Saturday...

Cheers! (Yeah, totally incarcerated for Life. But there'd have been a lot less drama, and I hear the inmates are into brewing...something... )

[edit] Credit where due, my boys would never schedule an important event on a Patriots game day, they've been Pats fans for life (while I lived almost 20 years as a G'ints fan). The wedding's next Saturday (crosses self twice )

 

[Yooper]

Ugh, it's a 50/50 deal right now. My youngest son is getting married next weekend and there's been way more stuff involving me than I thought I signed up for when I helped create him

If the Spousal Unit isn't half-crazed with more "We gotta do's" I may be able to escape for a few hours...

Cheers!

But you HAVE to come! How can I come all the way to Boston, and not meet the one and only Mr_trippr????????

The stupid expression on my face stayed the same.

Truer words have never been spoken.

 

[the_bird]

Me. 1972-ish.
View attachment 371895

F U

... look at the ****ing mouthbreather!

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

The stupid expression on my face stayed the same.

That hair.

 

[paulthenurse]

Man, have I got a lot of meat in my back seat.


Calm down, Yeager. I'm driving home from the butcher.

 

[the_bird]

You got any hops, malt, and/or yeast in there?

 

[Yooper]

You got any hops, malt, and/or yeast in there?

I heard that he does.

I'm really excited about Paul's butt, but I'm also looking forward to his brisket. I plan on coming very hungry to Masstoberfest, and really thirsty. I've been training for this event for a whole year and think I'm ready.

The weather is just as pleasant as last year also.

 

[Daddymem]

Is 6 AM too late to arrive tomorrow?

 

[the_bird]

... wasn't too early for Opera-Man.

 

[paulthenurse]

Please do. I need a few extra hands to set up.

 

[paulthenurse]

Dakota... The Brewbitch of the Opera.

 

[paulthenurse]

Sitting in Steve's driveway. It's raining. He's not even home yet. I've got supper sitting next to me. It's raw.

You SO owe me, Jay.

 

[Daddymem]

Yay, would you look at the date! It's the night before Masstoberfest! Y'all know what that means dontcha? Yes! Time for your favorite bed time story!

Twas the night before Masstoberfest (2016!), when out on Paul's stoop
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Yoop.
The smoker was stuffed full of wood with care,
In hopes that anyone at all soon would be there.

The pork butts were nestled all snug in their brine,
While out sat the briskets, ageing like fine wine.
And Alice in her sweatshirt, and Paulie in only his cap,
Had just snuggled together for a well needed nap.

When out in the backyard there arose such a clatter,
That Paulie sprang from their bed to see what was the matter.
Away down the stairs he flew sorta like a flash,
Out onto the porch brandishing the paddle from his mash.

The moon on the breast of this bare chested fellow
Caused his neighbors to holler, scream, and then bellow.
Then, who before his squinty little eyes should appear,
But Bird, Cape, and Mort, with kegs full of beer.

With Big John and Dakota sitting by the oven,
Along with Melana and Yooper the token homebrewing women.
Faster than a unicorn from the porch Paulie came,
They all whistled, and shouted, and called him rude names!

"Hey *********!” “Hey, Masshole!” “Hey, misguided brewer!”
“Get kneading!” “Get baking!” “Get meat on some skewers!”
“To the front of them bricks!” “But watch out you big hick!”
“Put on some pants before you burn your tiny wick!"

So bad is the smell that pours from his smoker,
It causes the neighbors to contact their real estate brokers.
But to Paulie's house all the cool brewers did fly,
To eat all his vittles and then ask themselves why.

And later, as they recovered, Yooper stole the room,
Telling tales of her imaginary Cardbob, ‘til Paulie lowered the boom.
Then Will the instant soup fiend, slimmed down to almost nothing,
Laughed so hard as some cheese in her mouth Yooper began stuffing.

Smurf was dressed in flannel, from his head to his foot,
A steinbier he was brewing again, guaranteed to taste like soot.
That Melana's mash would stick, a fact we all did know,
Just an excuse to drop to her knees and show how she blows.

Paulie's eyes-how they twinkled! His winks were so merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his perverted stance was so scary!
His pizza paddle was covered in cornmeal so thick
And his oven was hard, 'coz it too is made out of brick.

The bone of a pig he held tight in his teeth,
While the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He stood broad chested, a trident in hand,
And raised up his arms, to flaunt his mighty glands!

He was proud of his cooking, an obvious entertainment hero,
He laughed about his friends who thought he was a zero!
With a flick of his wrist and a twist of the dough,
He created pizza so good, again Melana her mash she did blow.

He still stood their nekkid, an apron to wear everyone did wish,
To hide all his junk, or at least a kettle, cup, pot, or dish.
As time carried on, it began to smell like rot,
Ah, the corpses under his shed, that he totally forgot.

He sprang like an elf to the top of his smoker,
And away we all flew as he swung the fireplace poker.
We heard him exclaim, as he thrust out his junk,
"Go **** yourselves, you big bunch of drunks!"

Happy Masstoberfest Eve y'all!

 

[paulthenurse]

Do you think your parents would mind if I adopted you? Would that be kind of weird? I don't have a son. You fit the criteria.

 

[the_bird]

Well, I guess I know who gets the Cup again this year.

 

[bob1852]

This thing is rigged! I'm not going anymore...

 

[Melana]

No more mash blowing

 

[the_bird]

Yeah, you guys have been married for a while now I suppose.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

When is the "official" time this thing starts? I have conflicts in scheduling my drinking at multiple places.

 

[Melana]

5am

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Darn my corn husker in-laws are arriving in a few days, I have to miss the mash blowing, cheese licking thing swinging good time in the rain. I know you won't miss me, maybe next year. Make it a great time.

 

[paulthenurse]

Come whenever. Leave whenever. Brewers 10-ish. Drinkers/lookers on 1-ish. I'll Ge up at 6 getting the pork butts going. The briskest go on at midnight.

 

[paulthenurse]

There is no such thing as bad weather, there are just poor wardrobe choices.

 

[Melana]

There is no such thing as bad weather, there are just poor wardrobe choices.

It's supposed to clear up a little this afternoon...

 

[paulthenurse]

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Another hour or two and we will be just ducky. Yup. Right as rain.

 

[paulthenurse]

I'm heading over to the club to check on LSU. . If any of you fools show up early get to work. Do what Al tells you. Trust me it's better that way. Oh and throw a log in Bertha