Lets talk : Office Christmas Parties...

[dibby33]

We all have them. In my mind they are a necessary evil. Where else can you do these things. Things you would not consider doing in a million years and then after a few cleansing ales you turn, not for the best in most cases either I hasten to add. My admissions :
1. Throwing up in a toilet with hand over mouth which created a spectacular and very messy garden sprinker effect up the walls and ceiling.
2. Ending up in a night club in the wee hours smoking a *cough* cig with my boss
3. Waking up the next day in a house of a girl I had just met. Had no idea where I was and had to flag a taxi to get my bearings. ...she was nice though
4. Large fight in pub. Fecking aussies love a good punchup.
5. This one is not mine but a bit of a story. One girl thought it would be good to get some of the blue toilet blocks out of the gents trough in the toilet and lob them out the window onto the passerbys below. This was during dinner and was in the cafe / restuarant where Harry Potter was first penned - she may have even been in that day!
6. Drinking three bottles of wine at lunchtime. Then on for cocktails. My partner in crime was a Irish girl, man she could drink. She fell asleep on the train (we had to pour her on!). Her bf was meeting her at her stop to take her home but no amount of banging on the window could waken her and he had to drive 120ks to the end stop where he finally managed to get on the train and get her off! A good girl :rockin:
7. The rest are either censored for good reasons or I just cannot remember!


What are your stories :

 

[Dude]

I hate ours, so I never go. Military christmas parties are especially brutal. I truly avoid them at all costs. SWMBO and I usually have a "non-formal" party at our house for our co-workers--that way I call the shots.

 

[Yuri_Rage]

Military Christmas parties are especially brutal.

Yup! Most of 'em are AWFUL! I declined two of them this year, thrown formally by the "upper echelon." I chose wisely.

However, our squadron party always kicks ass. We always have it at this old hotel up in the mountains, and they usually call the cops on us at some point. We just pay 'em well (the hotel, not the cops) and carry on.

Last year one of the "leadership" got pulled aside by a cop for questioning about bringing alcohol into the establishment rather than buying it from the bar. His response was, "I guarantee you, no one brought anything in!" The cop's response was, "What about that guy?" - pointing to one of the younger guys hauling a cooler of beer into the room.

Later, the same "leader" got into an argument with the bartender over changing the price of mixed drinks partway through the evening. He called the bartender a "F'ing idiot!" The manager ran over, yelling, "Hey, you can't talk to my son that way!" His response was classic..."Well, now we know it's genetic..."

This year one of the guys got so drunk, he picked a fight with the Christmas tree. I think the tree won.

Perhaps for an evening, we perpetuate a few stereotypes...but it's so much fun!

(and we pay for it later with hangovers and "sorry I broke your stuff" checks)

 

[Chairman Cheyco]

Oilpatch Christmas parties are awesome. Open bar, free cabs and/or hotels. Nothing like turning a bunch of rigpigs loose in a hoity-toi steak joint with bottomless liquor!
Last year we had an ametur stand-up comic about 3/4 of the way through the evening. I actually felt bad for the guy... (a little)

 

[Bernie Brewer]

Years ago the grocery store chain I worked for threw us a company picnic n the summer and a Christmas party in the winter every year. A few times the Christmas party was held at the fanciest hotel in town, and those that lived out of town could get a room at a discount to avoid having to drive.
Well, one year our meat department clean-up kid (we called him Bowser because he was tall and skinny with a deep voice, but I digress) decided to throw a *** party in his hotel room. Bowser wasn't real bright. He mixed up the *** in the BATHTUB. Stained it PURPLE. The grocery chain's owner got stuck with the replacement costs. Needless to say, that was the last year we had our Christmas party at that hotel.:cross:

 

[uglygoat]

i skip anything social when it comes to work. work and my family to do not mix, nor do i want to be friends with my coworkers and or bosses. it's a line i don't cross.

 

[c.n.budz]

Mine's tomorrow night. We're having it at a mexican bar/restaurant near my office. Nothing special, buffet and open bar but it'll be fun and we'll definitely make the bar regret putting jager shots on the open bar list.

At my old company we had a few ridiculous parties. One year we got one of the attorneys that did title and closing work for us pay for a block of hotel rooms at Foxwoods. Ever here the saying "don't be the story" well, EVERYONE was the story that night... You can have some sweet races with those big hotel luggage carts

The next year the same attorney threw the party himself and had a huge raffle, I ended up winning a trip to Italy, but I took the cash equivalent instead

 

[the_bird]

We have some great ones. We always get ripped on wine and Sam Adams immediately after our annual compliance meeting (that's one way to guarantee 100% attendance), then we get one of the local restaurants to shut down for us. No spouses allowed.

Then, come January/February, the boss and his wife (who also works for the company, heading the insurance agency) throw a big bash at their house. Fully catered, phenomenal food, LOTS of drinking, bossman making martinis, bossman's wife making cocktails that are WAY stronger than they should be.... and she's always the first one to wing a dinner roll or something similar clear across the room. Good times. Bumping and grinding with one of my uber-flirtatous co-workers (who happens to be about twenty years my senior, but is one hell of a firecracker).

Now, the party that the parent company throws each year; I'm pretty sure attendance by our firm's employees (about thirty out of maybe 150-200 total) has been maybe two or three; probably just the boss and his wife. That's the typical boring shindig - good food, but everyone on their best behavior.

 

[Donasay]

I had mine the other night, open bar and company sponsored gambling. I myself had 3 extra dry gin martinis, free food, and I won about 9K playing craps. Then there was the after party... Needless to say I was practically useless at work today...

 

[DeathBrewer]

i'm skipping it this year. screw San Ramon...we used to have the parties in San Francisco, that was the bomb. We'd get hammered then run off and have some fun when the other folk were out of commission.

There is NOTHING to do in San Ramon, i'll be too drunk to drive home, and i'll be damned if i'm going to spend money to stay in that crappy hotel. I'm taking a stand...they need to bring back the old parties!

I could do without the themes and raffles too. meh.

 

[wild]

I'm with uglygoat. I haven't been to a company Christmas party in decades. Now when it comes to HB Club Xmas parties, I'm there! It's the one night we have nothing below 8%. All the best meads, wines, and beers start flowing along with fantastic food and the Thieving Secret Santa gift giving.

 

[shafferpilot]

Never done a company christmas party. BUT I did get dubbed "the garbage man" at an old friend's christmas party. About 2 hours into the party, another friend started looking around for me, but couldn't find me. She asked around and no one had seen me in about 20 minutes. What can I say lots of shots were involved before and after we got there. Long story short: I was located another two hours later laying in a mixture of snow and vomit half hidden behind the dumpster out back of the apartment building. I don't remember a thing after our arrival, but luckily there were pictures:cross:

 

[Ó Flannagáin]

I hate ours, so I never go. Military christmas parties are especially brutal. I truly avoid them at all costs. SWMBO and I usually have a "non-formal" party at our house for our co-workers--that way I call the shots.

God knows my wife drags me to those military xmas parties. They are terrrrrible. Especially when her officers are such prunes. No alcohol, a bunch of old farts and a ridiculous gift exchange game of some sort.

 

[Ó Flannagáin]

I had mine the other night, open bar and company sponsored gambling. I myself had 3 extra dry gin martinis, free food, and I won about 9K playing craps. Then there was the after party... Needless to say I was practically useless at work today...

9K? 9000 dollars? Why do you work if you can gamble so well?!?!

 

[Dude]

God knows my wife drags me to those military xmas parties. They are terrrrrible. Especially when her officers are such prunes. No alcohol, a bunch of old farts and a ridiculous gift exchange game of some sort.

That sounds spot on. NO FUN!!!!!

 

[MikeInCtown]

Last company I worked for held some really goo ones. Small office with less than 100 people.

First year we had a party with open bar at a country club (that hosted a US Open once or twice) We all got hammered and someone had to be taken away in an ambulance. (same thing happened to another girl the year before) Then another co-worker starts running around when the police show up with the ambulance. "Run, Run, the cops are here!!! Hide the beer!" LMAO.

Next year we had the party somewhere else, but wound up at a bar after the party. Of course, you get those drunk people again. One of the girls goes off to the hotel room of one of the guys. Her best friend who had also slept with the guy starts banging on his door trying to get her out of the room. -And we all worked together. Made for some bad moments here and there at parties and at the office afterwards.

From what I had been told, the parties were even better before i got there. They used to make the women dress up as elves in tights and pull "santa" around in an office chair to distribute gifts. They would also serve some really good hard liquor at the office too. I have to say, as much as I hated that company, the people and parties were the best.

 

[Hermish]

I had my company party last night. Good dinner and an open bar, but it was a Wednesday night so most people left pretty early, and they kicked us out at 11. Even so I am feeling it a little today, and the morning meeting at 6 am was a little quieter then normal. We did make plans for a big new years party though, so something good came out of the night, and the Christmas bonus check this morning is nice too.

 

[Ó Flannagáin]

I had my company party last night. Good dinner and an open bar, but it was a Wednesday night so most people left pretty early, and they kicked us out at 11. Even so I am feeling it a little today, and the morning meeting at 6 am was a little quieter then normal. We did make plans for a big new years party though, so something good came out of the night, and the Christmas bonus check this morning is nice too.

Christmas bonus check... sigh... I haven't had one in a few years. Can't really give myself one.

 

[MriswitH]

My company decided not to do one last year and I suspect we wont be doing it again this year due to 'financial issues.' Its really disappointing and a huge slap in the face for reasons I really wont get into.

My fiancé's is tonight though. She works for Hagerty Collector Car Insurance and they usually put on a pretty good one. Huge catered event at a Country Club in town, but they do drink tickets. Its usually pretty fun, kinda awkward at times, but interesting to watch the 'managers' get all looped up and hit on the younger crowd.

 

[kornkob]

Ours are awesome.

they gave away a copy of Rock band, several Ipod Touch, 3 or 4 copies of Guitar Hero 3, a couple GPS's, a laptop, a big pile of gift certificates and pre-paid credit cards (nothing less than $100), a few Wii's, a couple 360s---- probalby 6 or 7 grand in prizes.

We had a Guitar Hero 3 showdown and Wii Sports tennis competition, both with 'betting' involved (to get extra tickets for drawing of prizes) and then someone held an after party at their house where we played Rock Band till all hours of the night (I think it shut down at 5am).

And that thing can't touch the release parties we throw. Those get nutz!

heck-- I got an 8 grand budget to throw the Halloween party for the company. It was a blast.


They do drink tickets but frankly I get plenty tuned up on the tickets that I scavenge from the drivers, chronically sober and the preggers.

 

[Beerthoven]

My company doesn't throw holiday parties as a rule.

My 'division' used to have a holiday dinner at a local hotel, but it was boring and they stopped doing it when the division VP got promoted.

The social committee for my division now organises a lunch potluck. Woop!

I work for non-profit with too many over-educated prudes. Research types are typically not very social. It kinda sucks sometimes.

They don't even use the term "Christmas" in company communications, instead preferring "Winter Holidays" so as not to offend anyone.

 

[Cheesefood]

Here's some bullstuff:

I work outside the facility that planned our holiday party. Like many others, I put my RSVP in on time, but it got lost in the inter-company van apparently. They over-booked the party, so I was put on a "waiting list" for the holiday party.

Seeing that it was gonna suck since it'd be over-booked and crowded, we decided to cancel our RSVP and have our own fun. The night before is the SNIZZLE dinner. That'll be a rockin' night. We'll probably crash at my BIL's place (since he's watching Miles).

 

[Melana]

Our wonderful holiday party is here in the office and includes take out COLD wings and a secret santa exchange. No beer, no nothing.
Just wings. WTF is that?

 

[blacklab]

I work for a large silicon chip manufacturer(do the math) and we have quarterly 'forced fun' activities. The Xmas version is tomorrow. They are always brutal. No booze.

 

[Ó Flannagáin]

Ours are awesome.

they gave away a copy of Rock band, several Ipod Touch, 3 or 4 copies of Guitar Hero 3, a couple GPS's, a laptop, a big pile of gift certificates and pre-paid credit cards (nothing less than $100), a few Wii's, a couple 360s---- probalby 6 or 7 grand in prizes.

We had a Guitar Hero 3 showdown and Wii Sports tennis competition, both with 'betting' involved (to get extra tickets for drawing of prizes) and then someone held an after party at their house where we played Rock Band till all hours of the night (I think it shut down at 5am).

And that thing can't touch the release parties we throw. Those get nutz!

heck-- I got an 8 grand budget to throw the Halloween party for the company. It was a blast.


They do drink tickets but frankly I get plenty tuned up on the tickets that I scavenge from the drivers, chronically sober and the preggers.

That sounds like my kind of xmas party!!!!

 

[david_42]

Stand around eating mediocre food, paying for my own drinks, 'listening' to lousy bands, driving home in the dark & rain from a place I've never been to before and only has one way out. You'd never guess I worked in Silicon Valley for 12 years. Not one good office party the whole time.

OH! And the raffles over a PA system consisting of tin cans and tinsel.