It's a homebrew thing... you wouldn't understand.

[PlexVector]

I was brewing in the back yard once, listening to my headphones as I gradually become aware of a voice saying "Sir! Excuse me SIR!" I turn around and there are two cops leaning over the gate trying to get my attention.

"What's the problem officer?" I ask.
"We got a call about suspicious activity in one of these back yards." Both cops and my eyes drift over to the boiling 10 gallon pot and copper immersion chiller.
"...." Silence from me, wondering where this is going.
Long moment of silence before one of them says, "You brewing beer?"
"Yes, I am," Says I trying to get my heart rate under control.
"Well, don't do anything suspicious in a month or two and we won't be back to try it," says one as they walk away. I got busted by a cop who actually has some familiarity with home brewing, my lucky day.

Obviously, they've seen this before. Just be glad you weren't their first!

 

[SnakeRidge]

When they said they got the call, you should have said "Officer, I've been out here a few hours and haven't seen anything suspicious."

Yeah... it's funny because the guys throwing fireworks at each other and smoking hand rolled 'cigars' had just gone back inside for more 40's. I'm pretty sure they got a less than pleasant visit from those officers.

 

[passedpawn]

There's some aspects of homebrewing that when you pick up the hobby, you don't necessarily expect.

1.) If ...

...
6. ) You'll get banned for being on the forum and announcing you're under 21.

Ha #5 doesn't apply to me I'm only 19

No. 6 does.

 

[PlexVector]

I'm thinking either "muggles" or "normies."

"Muggle" would mean that at least one parent or distant relative brewed or had brewed beer. Wouldn't it?

 

[PlexVector]

6. Non-brewers have a different interpretation of the term "brewing." I had this conversation with a co-worker recently:
Co-worker: "How long does it take to brew a batch of beer?"
Me: "About 4 hours."
Co: "Cool. So you can brew in the morning and start drinking it in the afternoon?"
Me: "Well, no, it has to ferment a few weeks. Then I bottle it and it takes some time to carbonate. So, about a month or more, grain to glass."
Co: "Oh...not much instant gratification in that hobby, is there?"

Thusly the term "Pipeline" was created!

 

[Dmlsys23]

"Muggle" would mean that at least one parent or distant relative brewed or had brewed beer. Wouldn't it?

I thought that was a squib.

 

[PlexVector]

I thought that was a squib.

Oh Crap! Maybe I meant Muggle-Born. so:

1. You have to explain to non-brewers how the concept of "pipeline" works. And why it's necessary to have 5 gallons of each type of beer.
2. You don't have a snarky name for non-brewers, but you're thinking of one.
3. You have become a bit of a germaphobe.
4. When you walk through a hardware store or home center, you're constantly thinking about how items on the shelves could be adapted to homebrewing use.
5. At the beer store, your choice has at least a little to do with whether the bottles will be good for homebrew. But if you keg, you don't care if it's cans.

I'm thinking either "muggles" or "normies."

Buggle: non-homebrewers
Buggle-Born: homebrewers born from non homebrewing parents
Squibble: non-homebrewer of parents where one or more parent homebrew.

 

[NCSU_Brewer]

You'll clean a stack of dirty dishes for the wife, just so you can wash bottles & other, more important stuff.

This is my go-to move, and it keeps my wife happy. Every time I have brewed or bottled, I have left the kitchen cleaner than I found it. It's like my own little Pavlovian experiment. "The kitchen is a mess. NCSU_Brewer, when are you going to brew again?!?!?"

 

[NCSU_Brewer]

Also:

"Can I have those empty beer bottles?"

 

[ruralbrew]

You keep checking Amazon Prime to see if they have started selling 50 lb bags of malt.

 

[TheHappyHopper]

#1067: Road trip routes are altered to make sure you hit any breweries along the way to pick up new growlers.

#1068: You have various styles of glassware and will happily explain why you need them for each beer style - even if you typically just go with the shaker pint glass anyways...

#1069: In a bookstore, you always head straight to the beer/wine section to see if there are any good homebrewing books that you don't have - even though you know deep down that between your old, dog-eared copy of "The Complete Joy of Homebrewing" and HBT, you have all of the information you need.

 

[vwmasstransit]

You're not trying hard enough.

Or you need more friends that mooch beer off you.

 

[MaxStout]

#1067: Road trip routes are altered to make sure you hit any breweries along the way to pick up new growlers.

Corollary to this: When traveling with your spouse or significant other, you sell the idea by stating "the food there is great!...and, um, I hear they have decent beer, too."

 

[dpatrickv]

You never taste a craft brew without wondering: "Can I clone this? Should I?"

I actually never think this.

If I can buy it, I don't want to make it.

 

[jrgtr42]

You have to explain weird assortments of parts at the hardware store.

You have to ask if a fitting is really stainless or just chrome plated.

You have to explain why you don't have any more space in your laundry room because you have over 200 beer bottles.

A thousand times this!!!! Just ask my wife - just last night she was complaining about my collection of bottles. In the pantry (these are full, though...) the mudroom, the back hall closet... they seem to multiply. Of course, the bombers are the ones that normally get put aside for brewing - there are plenty of other bottles that I do need to bring back for deposit (and probably putting that deposit right back into more commercial beer) and plenty more than that which aren't from around here, so I can't return them. Those either need to go in the recycle bin or join the bombers for 12-oz bottling.

 

[Hamaki]

I actually never think this.

If I can buy it, I don't want to make it.

I've tried close approximations a number of times because where I live there's generally not a wide variety routinely available and sometimes cost is a factor. I've also brewed a couple of styles never having tried them before. My son, who gets around more than I, still says the saisson I did ranks high among those he's tried. I enjoyed it but have yet to try a commercial example.

 

[bbohanon]

You keep checking Amazon Prime to see if they have started selling 50 lb bags of malt.

I have done this.

 

[1977Brewer]

You try to schedule your weekend outings around brewing activities.

"I can mash in before teeball if I get up at 6:30. I can Boil and chill and pitch before the birthday party if we're half an hour (okay an hour) late."

 

[m00ps]

You try to schedule your weekend outings around brewing activities.

"I can mash in before teeball if I get up at 6:30. I can Boil and chill and pitch before the birthday party if we're half an hour (okay an hour) late."

Yeah, that's every Friday and Saturday night for me. My friends will come over to drink while I brew, and I always tell them I can;t leave until I at least get the wort chiller going and lid on the kettle. Always counting backwards from then to figure out when I gotta put down the video game controller and mash in already

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Yeah, that's every Friday and Saturday night for me. My friends will come over to drink while I brew, and I always tell them I can;t leave until I at least get the wort chiller going and lid on the kettle. Always counting backwards from then to figure out when I gotta put down the video game controller and mash in already

Friends? Video games? Day drinking?

I think you missed the point of his post, because you obviously don't have kids!

 

[m00ps]

Yeah, no kids yet or in the near future. With all the homebrew equipment I have lying around, I'd be worried about that situation in the pictogram on every 6.5 gallon bucket (baby falling into bucket full of beer)