Is it wrong of me to protest on the simple fact of not being invited?

[STAD]

Personally, I think it is douchey to get pissy about not getting invited. I recently got married and there was a pretty large group of people, including some co-workers, that I was simply unable to invite. Weddings are expensive, and church's and reception halls only hold so many people.

If you dont want to do it because you dont want to loan your equipment/lose the money/don't feel like it/whatever, that is fine; but to not do it because you weren't invited I think is a ****** move.

Yeah.. It's one thing to not invite someone, but it's another to ask them to do something for you in the process.

Honestly, I would NOT brew for him. I would say something along the lines of, "Sorry, I can't. I don't normally lend out my equipment because it's kind of expensive." However, I can see this statement resulting in a desperate, pity invite, which is something you don't want. In that case, I would just politely decline and let him figure it out on his own.

By the way, this guy sounds like a total ******. I know that the phrase has been said already by damn near everyone, but I can't think of a better description. F*CK HIM!

 

[JMD87]

I'd say no beer. Since he's an engineer, point out the getting something for nothing violates the first law of thermodynamics.

Excellent! Except that doesn't only apply to thermodynamics, but engineering itself.


To the OP: +?
It's not nice of him to ask you to go through all that trouble and not even be invited to the wedding. Is he aware the amount of time & energy that goes into making beer? Maybe he just thought it wouldn't be a big deal for you to make up a couple of batches.

 

[the_bird]

Whether he's aware of the effort that goes into homebrewing or not, he's asking you to give him beer that's worth (if he had to buy it) a couple hundred bucks in exchange for spending maybe fifty or sixty bucks on ingredients. He's asking you for that, but he can't extend an invitation to you and a guest? He's still going to make money on the deal!

I stand by my first post, total ******, and even if an invite were to be subsequently forthcoming, he'll still be a ****** and always be a ******.

 

[dismantle360]

Oh yea trust me an invite at this point is useless.

 

[zoebisch01]

Whether he's aware of the effort that goes into homebrewing or not, he's asking you to give him beer that's worth (if he had to buy it) a couple hundred bucks in exchange for spending maybe fifty or sixty bucks on ingredients. He's asking you for that, but he can't extend an invitation to you and a guest? He's still going to make money on the deal!

That's a good point, but what I was getting at is that this guy needs to understand that there is tremendous effort involved regardless of if the OP brews or not for him.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Unless it was my own, a family member, or my mates wedding I personally wouldn't care to go to a wedding. So unless you thought you'd be a brides maid MAN UP! :cross:

Seriously, I'd be okay with him buying the materials and giving enough cash to "ensure there's enough funds for the raw materials" but to hand over kegs and a jockey box to a acquaintance co-worker smells of disaster on a scale like Edworts trailer mounted keezer. If the guy want to make a "refundable deposit" for the gear, then I might re-consider.

Otherwise, No thanks.

 

[TexLaw]

Yeah, three kegs of beer represents a lot of work. Even among friends and brewers, unless there is something very special going on, buying ingredients for the brewer only entitles you to half the batch brewed with another guy's gear. A ********* wedding is not something very special.


TL

 

[Loup]

I got married just a couple of years ago, we invited every person we asked a favor of. Not doing so is a dick move.

 

[jfrizzell]

Just a thought...are you sure you're not invited? Maybe by asking you to brew the beer, he was also extending an off hand invitation. If everyone else in your department got a written invitation, then the guy's still a DB, but maybe he thought he was implying that you were invited?

Who knows. Definitely a weird situation. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[cd2448]

Well, my thought is this- he wants to use your equipment. Who will be setting it up, serving and taking care of it, and tearing it down? YOU aren't invited, so it won't be you.

Equipment (regulator, jockey box, etc) is expensive, and it only takes one drunk to mess it up. My equipment is never loaned out, it goes where I go. I'm very generous, and have no problem with sharing my brew or equipment. But I wouldn't just take it and drop it off at the reception. If you don't want to do it, then this can be your out.

Now I have an image of Yoop dragging her kegging set up around the post office, the supermarket, the dry clearners.

 

[jds]

Thanks Bobby that was my first reaction I just wasnt sure if I was stepping down to his level. Although I do like the dipping my nuts in the kegs idea.

I vote "No Invite, No Beer", but the idea of giving him ten gallons of teabag pale ale is kind of funny too.

 

[cd2448]

Whether he's aware of the effort that goes into homebrewing or not, he's asking you to give him beer that's worth (if he had to buy it) a couple hundred bucks in exchange for spending maybe fifty or sixty bucks on ingredients. He's asking you for that, but he can't extend an invitation to you and a guest? He's still going to make money on the deal!

I stand by my first post, total ******, and even if an invite were to be subsequently forthcoming, he'll still be a ****** and always be a ******.

totally agree with the_bird. the audacity of this guy is something else. is he a lover of your homebrew or just trying to score some cheap pints? either way - it should not be allowed to happen!

 

[Coastarine]

I'm going to reconsider based on the fact of how much work and anticipation we put into each batch. Every batch to me is a big deal. I don't have time or equipment to just pump out batch after batch; money is not the thing that limits my production. To get me to part with several full batches would take more money than most anyone would be willing to pay. In short, my beer is worth way more to me than it is to anyone else.

 

[EdWort]

I vote "No Invite, No Beer", but the idea of giving him ten gallons of teabag pale ale is kind of funny too.

Perhaps you can fill a few special "bottles" for the bride & groom as a wedding present.

 

[homebrewer_99]

So I have a coworker who wants me to brew some beer for his wedding.

However I am not invited to it.

Is it wrong of me to protest and not brew beer for him on the simple fact of not being invited?

I only read your post not any of the ones that followed...No invite, no beer. Period.

Even if he had invited you the next day I would turn him down...

 

[cubbies]

Not doing it because you weren't invited, yet other coworkers were, isn't even close to being a ****** move.

Dont get me wrong. I am not saying that the dude is not a dick too. I fully agree that asking someone to do a favor and not invite them is a dick move. But I also think not doing something becuase you weren't invited is stupid too. Sounds very much like "taking my ball and going home".

I just don't understand how it is not worth your time if you aren't invited, but it is if you are. If this guy is such a *****, why are you going to a)go to his wedding anyway and b) spend several weeks preparing beer for it?

And if he is not such a dick, and you do get along with him, what is a couple of batches of beer if he pays for the ingredients?

Like I said, if you dont want to do it because of time restraints/financial restraints/just plain dont like the guy/whatever, I have no problem with that. However, to not do it because you weren't invited sounds crybaby to me. What if you told the guy this? What if you said "nah man, I' m not going to do that since I am not invited." Then he says "but you are invited". Then what? Then now it is okay to brew for the wedding?

Like I said, I don't get it. Sure, the dude is a polesmoker for asking favors from non-invited guests, but I don't see why it would be less of a problem if you were invited.

 

[dismantle360]

These posts have been about a lot of balls today.

I dont have the time or want to make time. I was thinking about trying to fit it in to be nice however once he mentioned I'm not invited (YES HE TOLD ME THIS), I realized why should I put myself out to make him happy when its not really apprecieated.

 

[Bobby_M]

Even if I was invited to a wedding of an aquaintance and he asked me to brew a crapload for the event, I'd question if the invite was sincere or to preserve the cheap brew. It's a no win situation to brew for anyone unless you're making a serious run at commercial brewing. Ingredients are only half the cost of brewing and what if people got sick at the event. Although we all know it is unlikely that beer would do that, they'll go after anyone that supplied consumables. Cover your a$$.

 

[EvilTOJ]

If it were me, I may fill a sanke keg (his empty, not mine) for him for the cost of ingredients plus my time, but there's no way I'm letting hundreds of dollars worth of equipment just be borrowed without my presence. Is he going to offer to replace the broken regulator when some drunk knocks it over and busts it? How about if your jockey box "disappears" after the wedding? People get like that when they think they can get away with it. I would take EdWort's beer trailer theft as a very good excuse NOT to lend out your equipment.

 

[jfrizzell]

Well, based on the fact that he flat out told you that you weren't invited yet he still wants you to brew beer for his wedding and supply all the equipment, I'd tell him to feck off.

 

[EdWort]

I would take EdWort's beer trailer theft as a very good excuse NOT to lend out your equipment.

Yep, I learned it the hard way, but it worked out after all.

My new rule is

"I arrive with my equipment, and it it leaves with me when I do".

I'm still surprised at the unmitigated gall of this DB to ask you for such a personal thing without inviting you when co-workers around you are going.

(shakes head, muttering)

 

[dismantle360]

Until i try and make a run at going commercial. I will not brew beer for people who are not my family or friends. I thought this guy was a friend he proved hes not.

Hence no brewing going on or beer for him to test/taste in the future. He can wait till im commercial and he can buy it in the effin store.

Thanks guys for all the feedback I really apprecieate it.

 

[STAD]

Until i try and make a run at going commercial. I will not brew beer for people who are not my family or friends. I thought this guy was a friend he proved hes not.

Hence no brewing going on or beer for him to test/taste in the future. He can wait till im commercial and he can buy it in the effin store.

Thanks guys for all the feedback I really apprecieate it.

Good for you man. Sounds like this guy was a prick. I don't know where this guy got the gumption to ask such a thing, but it infuriates me just to read about it! Sounds like it's time to crash a wedding!

 

[friarjohn]

Here is my idea...
Tell him you will brew for him for the cost of the ingredients...plus as a favor you will come a serve...but you cannot leave your setup. just explain that you have known to many people whom have had bad experiences...remember you may sometime need a favor... you dont know everyone at the reception anyway so its not a big deal not getting to socialize with everyone....plus you will get to drink some of your own beer while serving...plus the safety factor, you can cut off a guest if the have had what you feel as to much. Plus you will get lots of awesome feedback on your beer....they will have to take you out the receiving door becuase your head will be so big!!!!!

just my opion...and you know what the say about opions....
friar john
Peace and love of beer!!!!

 

[Orfy]

Tell him no thanks. I'm not happy to let the gear out of my sight and where is my invite?

Put him on the spot.

 

[zoebisch01]

Until i try and make a run at going commercial. I will not brew beer for people who are not my family or friends. I thought this guy was a friend he proved hes not.

Hence no brewing going on or beer for him to test/taste in the future. He can wait till im commercial and he can buy it in the effin store.

Thanks guys for all the feedback I really apprecieate it.

Glad we could help you through the soul searching process

 

[Repsychler]

As I was reading this, I kept thinking that maybe your invite was lost/miscommunicated, because this guy couldn't possibly be that big and bold of a dink. But if he specifically said you are not invited (while other co-workers are!!) he is Lord Douchicus, the Douchemaster of Lower Douchia. I'd invite him to eat a big fat hairy bag of dicks.

 

[dismantle360]

bag of dicks

Wow that’s the second time I heard this recently.

Yes he is.

 

[Brewing Clamper]

Wow, the balls on this prick... I would nicely tell him "don't have the time" and drop it. Now you know what kind of a person you're working with, and that's always a good thing to know.

 

[shecky]

Wow, the balls on this prick... I would nicely tell him "don't have the time" and drop it. Now you know what kind of a person you're working with, and that's always a good thing to know.

You're too nice. I'd tell him to take a flying leap into a vat of hot oil.