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If you had a time machine, what what you tell your beginner brew-self?

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Buy a kettle with a spigot. Quick disconnects are your new best friend. Clean, sanitize, clean, sanitize. Temperature controlled fermentation is NECESSARY. The best brew can be the worst beer with poor fermentation temperatures or pitch rates.

Cheers!
 
Go straight for kegs and skip the bottles.

This.

Skip the damn bottling and go straight to kegging. Makes brewing much more enjoyable. I can brew more often, drink more often and try new things more often.

Plus, bottling just sucks.
 
1) Fermcap-S. This. Yes.
2) Buy a gazillion cheap hydrometers. Your elbows will break them by the dozen.
3) That stupid tradition of drinkin' while brewin'? Don't. Not if you want good beer.
4) No sexual favors for a brew sculpture. No matter how cute s/he is.
5) The clap is not the new "Brett."

Number 3 is very true. I learned that my first time brewing.
 
Purchase auto siphon , use starsan instead of constantly making up powder sanitisers , making sure the kids have eaten before they are in and out of the kitchen constantly disturbing my beer making
 
I'd go back 12 years and tell the 18 yr old me," go buy bread yeast and apple juice and make tons of cheap booze so you don't have to bug your brother to buy cheap beer and vodka!"
 
I'd remind myself that I need to generate 1.21 gigawatts of power for the darn thing to work to begin with.:D
Seriously though,I'd tell myself to start brewing beer at the point where I quit making wine.
 
Octoberfests are Lagers, It will not turn out right if you do not consider the ferm temps. Don't take so long off between brews, it is much nicer if you constantly have something fermenting (still working on this one).
 
I would have to say that taking the time to understand yeast and fermentation temps is what has helped me the most. I still do extract and am finding that I can make some great beer if I am pitching enough healthy yeast and fermenting at the right temps. After mastering that aspect I would say save money and buy big for an AG system.
 
I'm pretty sure it's pronounced "jigga-watts." :p

Great Scott!

Yes it is,but it's spelled "gigawatts"...guess I missed my chance with all the thunderboomers the last few days. I agree about good temps & yeast pitch. Now if I could just get the VSS properly rigged to the flux capacitor...
Now that I'm doing PM,temps are def way more critical. Beersmith2 def helps as well.
 
To simplify everything - buy 1 pot, build a mashtun and brew 2 malt, 2 hop beers - get 2 cornies and a simple keg system and enjoy the hobby - stop building sh*t and be happy with what you have.

Simplify and more simplify.
 
Yup. The only thing I needed to go PM BIAB was the 5 gallon paint strainer bag. Partial boil works quite well this way as well,so my 5G BK/MT is still in service.
 
Experiment from the beginning! You'll enjoy it more. Don't stick to the 'rules', they are mainly just a guideline.

Sometimes 20% max really means 40% is perfect.

Don't waist your time with IPAs, you'll never find one you really like enough to brew again.
(12 down, luckily my friends enjoyed them.)

Go big from the start because once you know the first ^ on the list, you'll go from 5 - 30 gallons in less than a year. You could have bought a nice conical for what you wasted in pots.
 
"Invest in Cornies.. the price will go up... " Oh and after I moved "open that darn HBS, it will make $$ after 2 or 3 years" this assumes I'm only go back to my younger starting self.... I fI could go back far enough "invest in X until... and then Y until...."
 
Seriously? I'd tell myself the powerball numbers for the next big payoff.

Then I'd brew beer in my castle.
 
Tomorrow is my first brew day. It's good to read all the replies in this thread and be able to say, "Yep, got that one covered. Got that one. Got that one." Looks like any mistakes to me made will be error on my part and I'm hoping my acute attention to detail (ocd) won't let that happen. I'll have to keep telling myself, "Enjoy this. It's supposed to fun, not a mindf**k."
 
Resist the urge to open that first beer too early.

5 gal of one brew is a lot. Don't be afraid to scale down. You can experiment more that way and not have to worry about having 50 bottles of one beer you don't like.

To all of those people suggesting expensive upgrades, I don't know if I'd go that route. The people on here are the people who really enjoyed it/stuck with it. There are probably a fair number of people who spent lots of money, jumped in with both feet, and then for whatever reason chose not to continue. It also really isn't an option for people considering cost/space limitations.
 
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