I need help

[Primevci]

Hello im new here and want to get into home brewing i found 6 or 7 home brew stores within 20 miles from my house.. my biggest road block is my wife she keeps saying no way how did you guys talk your wife's into letting you home brew... How should i butter her up... lol

 

[nebben]

First of all, what are her concerns?

Homebrewing offers a lot: a hobby, beer, a bonding experience, an education, and many others. The only real health risks are a lighter wallet, a bad back from lifting all that beer, and the occasional burn or carboy accident. All of those can be avoided too. It should be important to note that drinking homebrew that was made poorly is still safe without any significant health effects (maybe some indigestion).

 

[aggiejay06]

If she lets you buy beer regularly, then point out that once you've made the initial purchase of equipment, it can be much cheaper (if you keep it simple...you can get crazy with equipment) than buying quality beer at the store. That's what sold my wife. Of course now I've gone overboard with buying more and more equipment. It becomes an obsession once you start .

 

[Canadabrew]

Does she like beer? Make something she normally drinks.

If not you could tout the cost sayings. Although this may not be true long term

Would she prefer you to be at home doing something you enjoy or at the pub?

 

[aggiejay06]

Would she prefer you to be at home doing something you enjoy or at the pub?

Hahaha, good point. Though it's still nice to sneak off to the pub every once in a while...I call it research :rockin:.

 

[Xalwine]

I started with a mr. beer kit. at bed bath and beyond you can find em for 15-30 bucks. you make 1 case of beer and its easy. Play up your excitement around her and hopefully win her over with that. slowly move up to stove top partial mash BIAB method. and by then the rest of the investment can be made gradually. "summers comming up, we need a new cooler (or 2)" "I need to do some plumbing repairs" make a wort chiller too, work your way up and sooner than you think you'll be all grain brewing.

 

[Xalwine]

Hahaha, good point. Though it's still nice to sneak off to the pub every once in a while...I call it research :rockin:.

how else will you know what you like and want to brew!

 

[Northcalais40]

Tell her you changed your mind and are thinking about getting into base jumping and polyamory instead.

But seriously you need to understand that brewing does not require a lot of space or equipment. The house will smell like wort while your boiling but thats about it.

 

[Wig]

You should tell her it is 'fate' since you have 6 or 7 LHBS within 20 miles.
Amazing.

 

[tbel]

This is what worked for me with a wife who heard the it would stink up the house and didn't want me to do it. Find a place that does Brew On Premises. Talk about ti enough that she either gives the go ahead or maybe even gives you a gift certificate to the place. Make sure to pick a style you know she will like and then she'll buy you a second gift certificate. After you have that in hand you tell her you think you'll use it to buy a starter kit instead because you'd rather brew with her at home.

 

[wonderbread23]

I guess I have an awesome wife. If its something I'm into then she respects it. I haven't ever had to ask her for permission to do anything. She's not a huge drinker, but has accompanied me to countless festivals, brewpubs, brewery tours, club meetings, etc. Oh yeah, we live in a 600 sqft 1 bdrm apartment. Our office niche doubles as a fermentation room, I get to have a kegerator in the living room, and I brew 2 times a month (at least) in the kitchen.

 

[Conan]

I don't want to be 'that guy', but with all due respect- shouldn't we all be able to have hobbies as we please? Keep in mind this is being spoken by someone who's SWMBO fully supports everything I do. All my hobbies are accepted. I repay the understanding by being sensible. We're both grad students, living in a small apartment and not the definition of wealthy at the moment. Stay sensible with your spending, and do as you want to do. Does your SWMBO have any hobbies (running, cycling, knitting, reading)? I named those because they can be expensive/ space consuming- especially cycling. Okay, maybe not knitting, and barely reading, but running shoes cost a lot. Back on track- if she's a hobbyist, does she ask your permission to do them?

Try involvement as well. Megan helps me with little things- cooling wort, moving stuff, etc. and I think that's part of the reason she's enthusiastic about it. Also, I ask her opinion on taste, names, labels, everything. It's helpful to my brewing and to keeping her friendly to the ugly 70's kegerator and closet full of brew-gear.

Just my .02. Kyle

 

[Yooper]

I don't want to be 'that guy', but with all due respect- shouldn't we all be able to have hobbies as we please? Keep in mind this is being spoken by someone who's SWMBO fully supports everything I do. All my hobbies are accepted. I repay the understanding by being sensible. We're both grad students, living in a small apartment and not the definition of wealthy at the moment. Stay sensible with your spending, and do as you want to do. Does your SWMBO have any hobbies (running, cycling, knitting, reading)? I named those because they can be expensive/ space consuming- especially cycling. Okay, maybe not knitting, and barely reading, but running shoes cost a lot. Back on track- if she's a hobbyist, does she ask your permission to do them?

That's what I was thinking. Bob doesn't ask my permission to garden, or fish, etc, but he does talk to me before buying a boat! Major expenses need to be discussed, but whether I choose to brew beer or quilt for my hobby doesn't affect him at all. NObody tells me what I can or cannot do, particularly in my own home. That's just the way it is. If someone is so controlling that they decide what is ok for me to do, then I'd be gone. But we can talk about the money involved, and a spending plan if needed.

I would be sensitive to her, though. Maybe she has good reasons for being prejudiced about brewing. An uncle is an alcoholic? She hates beer? She thinks that brewing will mean that YOU'RE going to be an alcoholic? The house will smell? Those things need to be discussed because her feelings must be strong for a reason.

 

[JohnTheBrewist]

When I first started brewing, in 1990, we had only lived in the States a couple years (I'm a veteran and SWMBO is German), and we didn't have much money. But, we both missed our good German beer which was about $8.00 a 6er back then. I happened to drive by a LHBS and decided to have a look around. I was hooked immediately, and brought my wife there to show her that I could make my own beer for much less than buying it.

Part of the selling point was that I made much of the equipment dual purpose use. We bought a cheap ceramic coated pot, that we also used for canning fruit. When I bought a propane burner, I convinced her that we could use it for camping, same as the cooler/mash tun. I got all of my bottles for free, by going around to restaurants and bars and asking for them.

Nowadays, I get anything for the brewery that I want- I've just begun building a brewshed with walk-in fermentation and lagering chambers.

 

[beergolf]

Mine bought me the equipment to get started. She know I love to cook and that I like good beer, so she thought I would be good at it.

She supports it, loves the smell of the brewing process and most of all she loves the beers I am making.


So sorry I can't help you.

 

[Primevci]

Thanks for all the replys it was about the smell thing for here and wher ei would store the equipment we talked about it today she gave me the go ahead i get to buy my kit next week im down to 2 kits the Coppers brew kit or this one sold at my local shop http://baderbrewing.com/store/product.php?productid=21989&cat=326&page=1
Its not that i asked her for permission just needed to talk to her before i spent money on it and to make sure she was OK with it...

witch should i go with...

 

[Xalwine]

I found that if you build your own kit and remove some of the things you dont need (buckets, just get em for 2.99 at lowes/home depot) you can get it a lot cheaper. Search the DIY section of this forum for TONS of ways to make things yourself. for me, its the same difference between buying beer and making it. If i can make it, I'd rather do so.

Oh, that kit they sell? 100 bucks? IMHO thats a lot for that kit.

 

[superjunior]

if I were to choose between those two kits I'd probably lean towards the one from your lhbs. the coopers kit only comes with one fermenter (which is pretty nice btw) and the australian lager can kit that is included was pretty nasty. you'll see a lot of folks around here agree that those can kits usually have a similar apple twang to it. I've only made one of those can kits but thats my experience with it. you'll probably be much more satisfied with an extract kit with specialty grains. its only a couple extra steps but for the most part is just as easy to make, and you'll get much better beer. the coopers kit doesn't come with a capper or caps, but reusable plastic bottles and twist on caps.

 

[I_B_Mongo]

I was actually homebrewing years before my wife and I married. She pretty much knew (at least she thought she did) what she was getting into.

And not to bust balls, but I wouldn't ask permission, I'd just do it. If you're just getting into the basic equipment, I don't think that it's a think you'd have to get signed off.
Good luck man!

 

[boo boo]

That's what I was thinking. Bob doesn't ask my permission to garden, or fish, etc, but he does talk to me before buying a boat! Major expenses need to be discussed, but whether I choose to brew beer or quilt for my hobby doesn't affect him at all. NObody tells me what I can or cannot do, particularly in my own home. That's just the way it is. If someone is so controlling that they decide what is ok for me to do, then I'd be gone. But we can talk about the money involved, and a spending plan if needed.
.

Heh, I was going to tell the OP to grow a set, but thought better of it and like you Yooper I won't have anyone telling me what to do, but marraige is a partnership, and you have to respect your other half by taking in their feelings.
I only asked permission to spend big bucks like the Keggerator and SS conical I bought. Other things such as small equipment and ingredients I just get. After all my hobby is cheaper to me than playing a round of golf a couple days a week and I get great beer out of it to share with friends.

 

[buffalobrewer]

Has she had any bad experiences with alcohol in the past (alcoholics in the family etc.)? She could be "equating" them with brewing.

 

[chicagobrew]

Congrats on convincing the wife and welcome to the obsession. Start small and make yourself whatever you can (immersion chiller is a great starter project). Your needs/wants will change as you learn and its easy to add stuff later. It certainly doesn't have to be an expensive hobby if you don't want it to be. Those fancy stainless rigs and RIMS/HERMS systems are completely unnecessary. Fun, sure, but unnecessary.

Below is what I would buy for a first brew. You should be able to assemble the whole thing for about $100 and you'll have a kettle and burner that you wouldn't have gotten with your LHBS kit. For first brew, I would go with one of those extract kits maybe with some specialty grains. Choose something pretty easy like a hefeweizen or a brown ale. Delicious hefeweizen can be made from extract only, so that may be my recommendation.

- kettle and burner - i used a 30qt aluminum turkey fryer setup from home depot for a long time and it did a great job (I still use it as a backup). Should be less than $60 and you can probably get one from Craigslist. You could do it on your stove, but you'll keep the wife much happier if you go outside.
- hydrometer
- instant read thermometer - you probably already have one in the kitchen
- plastic racking cane and some tubing (5-10' ought to do it)
- bottle filler wand - the spring loaded is my favorite
- one plastic bucket fermenter and one bottling bucket - skip a secondary fermenter
- 1 airlock - I much prefer the 3 piece version
- bottle capper - just get the wing type
- bottles and caps - ask friends, family, and local bars for the bottles. Don't buy them.
- starsan - can use bleach, but starsan is way better
- immersion chiller - would be nice, but not totally necessary at the beginning.
- the joy of homebrewing by charlie papazian - read it cover to cover and you're well on your way.

I think that's about it. With that basic kit of equipment you could make a pretty killer extract batch. Also, don't let anyone tell you that extract brewing is wrong or not as good. I've had a lot of great extract beer and still brew some now when I'm short on time or when the style doesn't benefit from all-grain.

Again, welcome to the hobby. It's a ton of fun and you'll meet some great people. If you have questions search the board first as just about every question has been answered. If you can't find an answer don't hesitate to post to the forum. There are some really knowledgeable brewers here and they are happy to help.

 

[JohnTheBrewist]

Agreed! ^^^^^^ Don't buy a brewing kit -Do this! ^^^^^^.

Then look for a good dry malt extract kit of a beer style you might like. I also agree that hefe-weizen or brown ale are good starts.

 

[MrMeans]

money is very tight amongst my wife and I. We are both undergrads at the moment and there is not a lot to go around. She likes the beer I make and I know that helps but other than my original investment for equipment I spend about $30-$40 a month on home brewing supplies. If I bought the amount of beer I brew on a retail level the price would be considerably more. Plus my wife knows it keeps me happy to have something to obsess over.

Explain to her the aspects of it that will not only be beneficial to you but to her also. Worst case scenario pull a jerk move and just go buy a starter kit, or you cans lowly start putting one together through acquired items. Check craigslist/ebay for stuff sometimes people upgrade or get out of the hobby and want to unload old equipment.
I think that aside from my propane burner, including my first kit I was down $150 for the equipment.

If she is concerned about the wort smell int he house brew when she isn't home and put a fan int he window venting to the outside when you brew. The smell goes away.

 

[Primevci]

Has she had any bad experiences with alcohol in the past (alcoholics in the family etc.)? She could be "equating" them with brewing.

A step dad and a ex boyfreind and a drug addict ex husband hence the main reason I wanted to talk to her about it

 

[Primevci]

Cool thanks for the tips ill look at putting my own kit together a wort chiller is someghing I can make pretty easy at work.. im a steamfitter "pipefitter" ill probably buy my gear at a local homebrew store so I make sure I get food grade plastics.. plus its good to support local shops.....

 

[jiggs_casey]

Bob doesn't ask my permission to garden, or fish, etc, but he does talk to me before buying a boat! Major expenses need to be discussed, but whether I choose to brew beer or quilt for my hobby doesn't affect him at all. NObody tells me what I can or cannot do, particularly in my own home. That's just the way it is. If someone is so controlling that they decide what is ok for me to do, then I'd be gone. But we can talk about the money involved, and a spending plan if needed.

 

[daniels]

All men have to tinker with something. would she prefer a big block muscle car in the garage? thats one reason i brew my own i cannot afford the other things i like that and i get a kick outta making killer beer. or you could be a total rude ass to her and everthing she wants to buy tell her no.

 

[dallasdb]

Go tell her to hush and make you a sandwich!

My wife wasn't excited but I wouldn't shut up about it. Her brother started brewing and I talked even more and finally she gave in when I found a complete kit on craigslist for $100, kettle 2 glass carboys, counter flow chiller, 90 bottles the works for a hundy!

She appreciates a deal and finally gave in. Now I get to brew and continue adding equipment as long as I get a deal or make it myself.

I also found it helps to not complain when she buys a new outfit. I shut my mouth last week and bought a grain mill from another HBT member. When it shows up in the mail and she opens it, she won't say much because I didn't squawk when she got her 2 new shirts!

 

[dallasdb]

Has she had any bad experiences with alcohol in the past (alcoholics in the family etc.)? She could be "equating" them with brewing.

Who hasn't had alcoholics in the family. No offense but my wife try to say that with me and I've been drunk 5x in my life. I like a good buzz but I don't slur or get wobbly! Couple beers and I'm solid.

I understood where she was coming from but I told her I'm going to drink beer, because I'm responsible and can handle it. If it gets where I'm getting blotto weekly we can talk, but for now relax and have a homebrew.