I need a funny beer saying!!!

[dcodd87]

My gift to my groomsmen on Sept 1, 2012 will be a custom pilsner glass and some of my homebrew that I have bottle conditioning that I specifically made for them. I bought 6 pack carriers that are white. I wanted to write something on them that would give them a chuckle or a laugh. Any ideas???

 

[Hernando]

Quotes more than sayings but here are some:

"Beer - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine."--Anonymous

"Don't bother trying to join the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. It turns out they're apparently against all three." --Wiley

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." --Jack Handey
Jack Handy is the best IMO

"Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while you have it, use your breath; There is no drinking after death"--Ben Jonson

"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution - to all of life's problems." --Homer Simpson

"Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer." --Al Bundy, Married with Children

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline; It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." --Frank Zappa

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." --Dean Martin

"Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer." --Henry Lawson

 

[geer537]

"Intoxicated /adj./ When you feel sophisticated without being able to pronounce it."

or

"You know what 'SOBER' stands for ? It stands for 'Son Of a B****, Everything's Real!'"
Gary Busey.

 

[FirstStateBrewer]

 

[Nightshade]

My favorite toast, "Let us drink to our wives and our sweethearts, and to the hope that the two never meet"

 

[htc]

They don't really pertain to weddings or groomsmen but I'm a fan of, "Beer, not just for breakfast anymore!" or recently I heard "That was close! I thought I had drank my last breakfast!"

 

[Slipgate]

Just go with the simple, "It's 5 o'clock somewhere!".

 

[Braufessor]

Here are a couple that might fit:

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
- Earnest Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls

Good men drink good beer
-Hunter S. Thompson

 

[Denny]

You only have one liver....destroy it wisely! - Me

 

[tre9er]

I used to drink a lot in the 90's...now I don't pay attention to what the temperature is.

I don't drink any more...I don't drink any less, either.

 

[Nightshade]

"Drink tilll she's cute...or you pass out"

 

[RainyDay]

"I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's the best they're going to feel all day." -Frank Sinatra (I think)

 

[unionrdr]

Here's an LP title I laways like from Lenard Skinard-"The smoker I drink,the player I get". I used that one a lot when I was young. Even in the plant when I messed up as a foreperson.

 

[rifraf]

I believe that drinking beer will solve all of life's problems...and if it doesn't you'll have a hell of a good time trying.

Think I saw it on a signature here actually...

 

[medusa1066]

"To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group."
-Anonymous

 

[unionrdr]

Here's one I think Rooster Cogburn said once-"Never trust a man that doesn't drink!".

 

[ktblunden]

There's always the old standby: Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy often (I think falsely) attributed to Benjamin Franklin.

 

[rifraf]

There's always the old standby: Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy often (I think falsely) attributed to Benjamin Franklin.

I believe Ben did say it, but about wine and not beer.

Still a good quote though.

 

[SavoryChef]

In heaven there is no beer, that is why we must drink it here. When we are all gone, our friends will be drinking all of our beer.

 

[ktblunden]

I believe Ben did say it, but about wine and not beer.

Still a good quote though.

Yeah, a quick Google search turns up that he was talking about rain and its contribution to growing grapes to be turned into wine. It's been incorrectly quoted enough that it's taken on its own life regardless.

 

[vawinesnob]

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

 

[Poobah58]

The liver is evil and must be punished!

In dog beers, I've only had one.

 

[KeyWestBrewing]

Rehab is for quitters.

I have a drinking problem, 2 beers and only one mouth.

 

[Dunerunner]

"The Liver Has Been Bad.......

It Must Be Punished!" - Unknown

 

[IXVolt]

"I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working." ~Dave Barry

"The easiest way to spot a ****** in a pub is to look around and find who's drinking a Corona with a slice of lemon in the neck." ~Warwick Franks

"There is nothing for a case of nerves like a case of beer." ~Joan Goldstein

"I drink to make other people interesting." ~George Jean Nathan

"I will make it a felony to drink small beer" ~William Shakespeare

"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." ~Winston Churchill

"We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old." ~Martin Luther

"People who don't drink are afraid of revealing themselves." ~Humphrey Bogart

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it." ~Rodney Dangerfield (Not beer, but still funny)

"Water? Never touch the stuff! Fish **** in it." ~W.C Fields

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy." ~Frank Sinatra

"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid." ~ Richard Braunstein

 

[ThreeSheetsBrewing]

Here are a couple that might fit:

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
- Earnest Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls

Good men drink good beer
-Hunter S. Thompson

Hunter quotes are good.

My addition: I like my women like I like my beer: Golden and bitter.

 

[theonetrueruss]

Where there is beer there is hope!

 

[Double-R]

Keep em,Coming I've got a long drive..Bill Murray
I use this line,When i notice the bar-dude about to cut me off..

 

[MacGruber]

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning

-St. Obnoxious

 

[tre9er]

Here's an LP title I laways like from Lenard Skinard-"The smoker I drink,the player I get". I used that one a lot when I was young. Even in the plant when I messed up as a foreperson.

Joe Walsh, who sang Life's Been Good to me So Far ("My Maserati does 185") actually had an album with that title: The Smoker You Drink, The Player You Are