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Mormons are single and have understanding wives?

pssshhh! don't you know anything? Mormons don't live by the same space/time laws as the rest of us. they can be married with kids and yet also existing simultaneously and a point before they got married. say you're eating an apple. you are holding the half eaten apple in your right hand. look in your left hand. it's a lottery ticket with only 2 of the numbers off. don't look at your left hand, it's a distraction. look back at your right hand, at the half eaten apple. it is simultaneously existing with the same uneaten apple in the same space. this is how Mormons exist on a daily basis. but it only works with the present coexisting with the past and not the present coexisting with the future. in special cases, the past can coexist with the future but not with the present as well.

I hope this helped to clear up the mysteries of the Mormons a little!
 
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