Maybe I've calculated my abv wrong? Most of my beer has been between 4-6% abv, but I drink less of them and feel the effects greater than commercial beers
Doubtful that you're calculating every batch wrong. Either way, I've read that people feel more affected by home brew than commercial beers. Maybe commercial beers are wrong. (I'm kidding)
Here's what I think. First, only you can decide what is excessive. There is more than enough anecdotal and scientific evidence on the effects of beer both positive and negative. With that, choices can and should be made on frequency of consumption as well as quantity. I definitely stick with the opinion that each person should make their own decisions on how much, what, and when to drink. If you want to go through the assessment phase with your drinking, then you can ask yourself questions that pertain to the negative effects, such as weight gain, ability to function normally, financial burden, and so on. If you've seen more weight gain since you've started to increase your drinking then perhaps you should look at cutting back or exercising more, or both.
If you feel as though alcohol is really the only thing that makes you feel better then I'd say that is an issue. I'm not a doctor, I'm just a fellow drinker and brewer who can easily justify your drinking and would if someone else above had not already done the math. Personally, I'm not seeing anything excessive based on the amount you consume daily. There are weeks when I could consume in 4 days what you consume in a full week. Sharing my home brew has allowed me to brew more without having things sit around. I love the process just as much as I love the product.
I think there is a balance for everyone and for everyone, it is going to be different. I'm not a parent and I don't have to worry about being cranky on Monday if I over-consume on Sunday. I don't want to be cranky regardless, but if I am, I am the only one who suffers. I don't want to be hungover and again, if I am, I am the only one who suffers. I don't make others suffer for my silly decisions. Or I try not to.
So like someone else said above, find your happy place and stick with it. Give your brew away, have parties, enter competitions, find places you can take a few bottles and share them, or even brew smaller batches. It takes the same amount of time, but you'll have less on hand.