Homebrewing terms that sound dirty but really aren't

[Sir Humpsalot]

Do you think it's infected?

She's got a problem with yeast.

I like carboys. Don't you?

Don't forget to cork the bung.

 

[user 4295]

Is my hose too short?

 

[ryser2k]

Don't forget to sanitize your bottling wand

 

[rdwj]

Here are 3 pages of them

 

[Sir Humpsalot]

I feel so uncreative.


Shoulda searched. I was bored.

 

[Fiery Sword]

Try not to suck up any of that trub!

Time to dryhop the porter!

 

[rdwj]

I feel so uncreative.


Shoulda searched. I was bored.

sorry - lol.

Honestly, we probably talk in circles here quite a bit. I just happened to remember that one.

 

[Sir Humpsalot]

Time to dryhop the porter!

Ha!

 

[Sir Humpsalot]

Sticking your tube down the carboy's neck...



Is it just me, or are most of the dirty sounding references either dealing with dirty women or homosexuality? Can't seem to find many hetero references that don't involve some sort of infection..


Hope I'm not in the minority there otherwise maybe I should be concerned! I always thought I was confortable with who I am...

 

[Cheesefood]

I like to autosiphon when I'm by myself.

 

[Fiery Sword]

SWMBO likes to sparge my grainbag.

 

[Sir Humpsalot]

I like to autosiphon when I'm by myself.

You must be very flexible.

 

[Cheesefood]

The overactive yeast caused my bunghole to pop out. Should've used the blow hole.

 

[Orpheus]

I'm applying some lube to the o-ring now.

 

[Yuri_Rage]

My corny just blew. There's foam everywhere.

 

[dibby33]

My wife likes a stiff scotch down her neck from time to time.

 

[EdWort]

You guys shoulda been here to help me pull my pork.

 

[EdWort]

Suck back is not a bad thing with vodka

 

[homebrewer_99]

Of course I swallow, don't you?

(Comment to a drunk friend) I know you like 'em a wee bit heavy, but she's as big as a hopback!

 

[Orfy]

I'd rather have someone else suck my syphon than do it myself (Although it is long enough)

 

[Fiery Sword]

SWMBO said it was her or the kegerator, so now I've got nut brown in blue bottles.

 

[Yooper]

SWMBO said it was her or the kegerator, so now I've got nut brown in blue bottles.

Better than blue nuts in brown bottles, don't you think?

Lorena


(These are hysterical- wish I was witty enough to think of some myself!)

 

[the_bird]

(These are hysterical- wish I was witty enough to think of some myself!)

From your recent posts...

I'd probably still be on my hands and knees...

Shoulda used a blow off tube (damn newbie)...

You just need to identify the dirtiness that surrounds you...

 

[Yooper]

From your recent posts...

You just need to identify the dirtiness that surrounds you...

Aha- I just need to think dirty. From someone else's post:

I can't stop reloading the photos of Ed's pork.

 

[Fiery Sword]

It's true. I'd have helped him pull that pork too if I were at the Wort household on New Year's. Dry rubbed and smoked pork is unconditionally dirty sounding, but damn is it good.

 

[olllllo]

Over in the mead thread there was this exchange...
Original Post

Hey.
My girlfriend and i just boiled our first 22 liters of mead yesterday night.
None of us have tried this sort of thing before, so i'd like to descibe how we did it, and hear your feedback. What will we need to do next, any tips, and will it even be drinkable?

We used
- 9.5kg honey - about 20lb
- 16 liters of water (i read that water without calcium was to be preferred, so i bought that kind of botteled water that is normally used for hot irons, car batteries and so on)
and the yeast we used was a "wine yeast" specially made for sherry. The guy in the store where we bought it said that that is what we needed. (it is 8grams)

Okay - this is how we did it.
First we boiled some of the water and half of the honey in two pots (we didnt have anything big enough to boil it all at one time - so its was made in two batches)

I read in an article that though most people boils it in 30 minutes or longer, 2min should be enough. So i boiled it in 2 minutes and forgot to remove any of the foam.. (don't know if that'll be enough to ruin the brew - we'll see)

It was poured into a big container with a "yeast tube" in the top, and the yeast was added this morning.

Since we added the honey concentraded with some of the water and rest of the boiled water afterwards, it seems that the must in the buttom of the container is darker than that in the top. Do i need to stir this, or will it mix itself?

As far as i understood the article, the must should be botteled as soon as the must has "cleared" - but how exactly do you define that. Just when it is transparent like water? How long will that be?

And raking? is that nessicary?, when, why and how do i do it?

As you can probably figure out, we are very new to this and have really no experience with brewing at all, so some help would be very much appreciated

I am not a native english speaker, so if i need to explain something, just ask

Thanks in advance,

- Thomas

My Response:
I know nothing about mead making, but I scan the posts from time to time because I would like to do a batch sometime.

Thomas, your English is fine, I'm only prefacing this because I don't want there to be any misunderstanding. If you've read this board you know that we all like to joke.

I'm just a little bored at work and with a little creative omission, the first post reads like a Penthouse letter.

Hey.
My girlfriend and i just ...
our first ...
yesterday night.
None of us have tried this sort of thing before, so i'd like to descibe how we did it, and hear your feedback. What will we need to do next, any tips...

We used - honey- hot irons, car batteries and so on

The guy in the store said that that is what we needed.

Okay - this is how we did it.

First we.... honey in two pots ...big enough....
I read in an article that though most people ... 30 minutes or longer,
2min should be enough...
...the foam..
Since we added the honey...
buttom ...
And raking?
how do i do it?

As you can probably figure out, we are very new to this and have really no experience with ... at all, so some help would be very much appreciated

 

[Cheesefood]

Can you taste this and tell me if it tastes infected?

 

[Orpheus]

Time to pitch the yeast, provided it's not too hot!

 

[Sir Humpsalot]

I'm really looking forward to racking off...

 

[Cheesefood]

Do you prefer to use a top or bottom?