Homebrew facepalms

[Cheesy_Goodness]

I was brewing my third extract batch on my electric stove the day before we left for the beach on vacation. As with any day before a trip, the wife and I were hustling to get everything packed. I had just bottled so I had an empty fermenter, and managed to convince my wife that I NEEDED to brew so it could ferment while we were out of town, and I promised I could get everything packed and still brew.

Well, I was running short on time and the %#@^ing stove was taking forever, so I covered it after adding my extract powder. I was in the kitchen anyway so I figured I could uncover it after a few minutes. It turns out that this batch of wort was a sonuvabitch, so, unsurprisingly, it boiled over. Nasty smell and it took a while but I got it cleaned up.

After cleaning it I thought my pot had chilled a bit too much, so the obvious thing to do is to cover it again.
You guys will never guess what happened...the same damn thing! Two boilovers in one batch was not what I had in mind.

 

[kombat]

This thread is great! I'm recognizing a lot of the same mistake I've made in the past. Here's my highlight reel:

• Didn't know the "gas in/liquid out" posts on a Corny keg were NOT interchangable. Darn near busted the QD trying to pry it off the wrong post.
• Dumped a magnetic stir bar down the drain. I now keep a "STIR BAR INSIDE" tag affixed to any flask or carboy that has a stir bar in it to keep me keenly aware that it's in there when it comes time to decant/pitch/wash.
• I dutifully prepared a 1 gallon starter for my 5 gallon batch of Oktoberfest. I didn't plan on cold-crashing/decanting the starter, I figured why not pitch the whole thing? Well, 5 gallons of beer, plus a thick layer of foam from aerating with a Fizz-X stir rod, in a 6 gallon carboy, didn't exactly leave any room for an entire additional gallon of yeast starter.
• Set a glass carboy on a small box while filling with wort, to keep it from touching the rough concrete floor. As the carboy filled, it got heavier (duh), sunk into the box, tipped over, and shattered all over my garage floor.
• I clean and sanitize my carboys after use, capping them with foil and an elastic band for storage, still with StarSan bubbles inside. Over time, the bubbles subside and I end up with a small puddle of StarSan at the bottom of the carboy. It seems no matter how much I try to remember, I keep forgetting to dump that last little 2 oz of StarSan before I start filling the carboy with wort.
• Racked a lager into a Corny keg for lagering, affixed a blowoff tube to the "liquid out" post of the keg, stuck the end of the tube in a pail of StarSan. As the beer cooled, it must've sucked back at least a quart of StarSan.
• Kept my equipment outside in the garage and discovered that my Chugger pump was frozen solid just when I needed to chill my wort. Had the same issue before with my garden hose (which I now store in the basement during the winter, for this exact reason).
• Brewed 10 gallons of Double IPA and didn't notice the 2 lbs of dextrose still sitting on my desk until I'd finished aerating, pitched the yeast, and affixed the airlock. Whoops. Added it anyway and stirred some more.

Live and learn!

 

[Sir-Brews-Alot]

Significantly more devastating: two years ago I was brewing a stout in my kitchen. I went to transfer the boiling wort from the stove to the sink so I could use my immersion chiller. As I went to put the wort on the counter, the bottom bumped the edge of the counter and I splashed half a gallon or so of boiling wort all over my foot. It was February and I was brewing with wool socks on. After putting the remaining wort down, I ripped my sock off and stuck my foot in the sink. Too late. Wound up in the ER with second and third degree burns. After 6 weeks out of work and brewing, SWMBO told me to suck it up and start brewing again.

Ouch! At least I have never injured myself while brewing..........well except for that time I was carrying 5 gallons of strike water (unheated) down into the basement. While going down the stairs I thought I was on the last step. Turns out not. I step down and feel nothing but air. Bodily fall to the floor tossing my bucket of water into my furnace and all over the floor. Good thing my basement is unfinished. I wrenched my back pretty good and twisted my ankle, nothing a few days of rest couldn't fix, lol.....Oh yeah there was also that time that my manifold came loose after dumping in my 165+°F strike water into the mash tun. Without thinking, I instantly plunge my hand into the water to re-attach it. My hand and arm up to my elbow was pink for that brew day, though I wasn't severely burned, and never even developed blisters. Sure hurt, though!

 

[rattle_snake]

Currently my main goal of improving my beer is to remove the yeasty flavor/aroma. So I equip myself with a freezer turned fermenter to control temps and decided to try an auto siphon (AS) too. Cold crashed and transfered to keg, lowering the tip of the AS as I went, keeping the gasket under the liquid level. Unfortunately, and unknown to me the last few minuets the tip was buried in the yeast cake. Profanity wasn't helping, so I switched to Whiskey. I keep finding new ways to f things up.

 

[zardozap]

Significantly more devastating: two years ago I was brewing a stout in my kitchen. I went to transfer the boiling wort from the stove to the sink so I could use my immersion chiller. As I went to put the wort on the counter, the bottom bumped the edge of the counter and I splashed half a gallon or so of boiling wort all over my foot. It was February and I was brewing with wool socks on. After putting the remaining wort down, I ripped my sock off and stuck my foot in the sink. Too late. Wound up in the ER with second and third degree burns. After 6 weeks out of work and brewing, SWMBO told me to suck it up and start brewing again.

Had this happen too, but thankfully I was wearing my workboots at the time, so no burned foot. I will keep what happened to you in mind in all future brewing, because I have brewed while wearing only socks more than a few times.

 

[roastquake]

After 6 weeks out of work and brewing, SWMBO told me to suck it up and start brewing again.

Good thing she didn't tell you to start working again

 

[DrunkleJon]

[*]Racked a lager into a Corny keg for lagering, affixed a blowoff tube to the "liquid out" post of the keg, stuck the end of the tube in a pail of StarSan. As the beer cooled, it must've sucked back at least a quart of StarSan.

When reading this first I thought blowoff tube to liquid out and fermenting going on would mean that you would lose more than half of your beer through the fermentation process. Then I read the second bit and caught the suckback part. Ouch either way. I am still trying to figure out why you blowoff tubed the beer out rather than the gas in post.

I usually break thermometers rather than hydrometers. Bought the less fragile thermopen and things were much easier.

Since the colder weather started this fall, I have placed a heater (paint can with light bulb, not a cfl) and fan in my fermentation chest freezer. Since the heat appears to be turning on more than it did in the summer, My airlock liquid has been evaporating a bit more than planned on. When I check my fermenter I notice that, crap, the airlock is doing nothing, need to top off. Hence my infected pumpkin ale this fall.

 

[kombat]

I am still trying to figure out why you blowoff tubed the beer out rather than the gas in post.

Whoops, you're right, it was indeed the "gas in" post. Same end result though - StarSan sucked into my precious Oktoberfest.

 

[Safa]

Had a couple of bottles left in the fridge from my first batches over a year ago, decided last night to pop them and see how things turned out after so long in the bottle.

Both beers poured absolutely flat, and didn't taste good at all. I thought wtf? Then it dawned on me. I'd used screw top bottles. NOOB!

Crazy that out of 50ish beers, I'd used two screw top bottles by accident, and those were the only ones to not be drank in all that time!

 

[Thirdthorpe]

Thread necromancy! Anyways, I just learned a great brewing lesson! Five gallons of fermenting mead + a tablespoon and a half of yeast energizer = science fair volcano of epic proportions. My first thought was "wait a second, thats not going to...." which quickly evolved into "ooooooh noooooo!" Then I just sat back and laughed because I knew there wasnt a damned thing I could do to stop it.

 

[jbaysurfer]

LOL ^ Yeah, I've done that cooking starters on my wifes electric stovetop. :smack:

 

[Heavywalker]

First time making wine I was making a Merlot and had the juice in the fermenting pale, added the grape skins, and yeast, put the lid on and went to pop the airlock in place. The rubber stopper went through the bucked and in to the mess of grape skins on the bottom. I washed my arms real good and worked on sifting my way though all those grape skins to try to fine the small rubber washer. Here I am up to my armpits in Merlot juice... I finally found it and set it back in the airlock hole and placed the airlock and locked down the bucket. Only to find out later that I shouldn't even be using an airlock for wine.

My last brew day, I believe it was last Wednesday, I was about to add my late LME addition at 5 min left in the boil. I had been using a hop sack for my hop additions to reduce the amount of hop crud going into the fermenter. I poured the LME in and began to stir, however the hop sack was loosely draped over the side of the kettle, so as I stirred all the hop material that I was trying to prevent from being in my brew went right in the kettle. Upon seeing this I started focusing on the hop sack instead of pouring in the LME and started pouring down the outside of the kettle on to the burner.

 

[WayFrae]

My brewing buddy has learned most of what he knows about brewing from me. He has hardly done any reading on the topic himself. So, while we were bottling he says "We need to be sure to not stir up the CHUD right?" I busted up laughing and told him it is called trub. He said he always thought I was saying chud. Ever since then we both call it chud because it is funny and it sounds way grosser than trub.

 

[fizgig]

How do you pronounce trub?

 

[MindenMan]

trooooooob. Like true ending the letter b.

 

[WayFrae]

trooooooob. Like true ending the letter b.

Ah, and there is one of the problems with learning from reading. I think I will stick with chud. hahahaha

 

[dcrog]

I got my siphon ready to transfer beer to bottling bucket. Looked in the bucket and saw "liquid" in the bottom. Though I I left sanitizer in there. Quickly poured it out. Started syphoning and reached for my sugar water. Uhoh.

Been there, done that. didn't get the t-shirt.

 

[SupervisingChildren]

This thread always makes me laugh. Like when I lost a hydrometer and found it a few weeks later when going to rack a batch of strawberry blonde off the strawberries.

 

[h-bar]

This actually happened to me today...I was racking an amber to secondary to dry hop, went to put the airlock in the lid, and couldn't find the correct stopper. I brew three gallon batches because that's all my crappy stove can handle, so I do the primary in a five gallon and transfer to a three gallon bucket for secondary. Of course, the lid and stopper hole for this bucket are totally different from the five gallon lid. I tore my entire closet apart looking for it, but it was gone. Ended up wrapping the airlock in plastic wrap and jamming it in the hole. Seems to be working. If I push on the lid, the bobber goes up, so it must be holding air. Guess I'll be going to the homebrew store tomorrow. I still can't believe I lost that stopper!

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

I BIAB so, as you might suspect, brewing bags are pretty important to my process.
I woke up early Saturday, ready to go. I had my strike water heating, my grain milling was going smoothly, and I suddenly remembered that my grain bag was currently being used to hold strawberry pulp in my wine bucket :smack:

 

[Fenduh]

Great thread. No...not me...I've never had any of these problems...I'm nearly perfect in every way.

 

[amfukuda]

On my last batch I accidentally knocked a bottle of transmission fluid into my freshly ground grains. What a sad day that was


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[johngaltsmotor]

On my last batch I accidentally knocked a bottle of transmission fluid into my freshly ground grains. What a sad day that was


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

I brew on the washer & dryer in the laundry and am always afraid of knocking detergent off the shelf into the mash when I stir. so far, so good....

 

[SupervisingChildren]

Tonight:
Made mead for the first time as a one gallon batch.
Didn't remember my growlers were only 1/2 gallons and only got one rubber stopper. Proceeded to overfill a growler before realizing it was only a half gallon.
Broke my stirring spoon in half trying to straighten it.
Damn. That wasn't fun...

 

[kmckiou]

Forgot to put the hop filter on the outlet of my boil kettle. Quick recovery by emptying my HLT, putting the filter on its outlet and draining the BK into it.

Several times I have been forcing tap water through my pumps by slipping a 1/2" silicone hose over the kitchen faucet. Then I forget and close the outlet hose on the pump. The silicone hose promptly blows off the sink faucet and the kitchen is sprayed. Of course, the water stream hits a power strip on the floor before I can shut it down.

 

[frozennorth]

I brewed a batch with LME a friend gave one time. Only to find out, just before opening my first beer, that it was 4 years old. Tasted like a dog fart smells. Nasty.

Once, in college, I sat up in bed, at 4:00 AM, to realize that I did not pitch yeast into the batch I brewed that day.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Wine related but I think it counts
I've been bound and determined to do a good batch of watermelon wine. Watermelon is a bit different than a typical fruit because it spoils so quickly, and it's a bit light in flavor so it can't be diluted with water.

Anyway, I wasn't able to find a good recipe so I tried my own method, mostly based off of Keller's 3 gallon recipe. He calls for 2.5 lbs of sugar per gallon, so for a 5 gallon batch I'd need 12.5 lbs of sugar.
I added 10 lbs and thought I could go from there
1.2 OG
Not a typo. One point two original gravity
I guess that's what I get for having homebrews and staying up after midnight working on this ****ing thing.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Wine related but I think it counts
I've been bound and determined to do a good batch of watermelon wine. Watermelon is a bit different than a typical fruit because it spoils so quickly, and it's a bit light in flavor so it can't be diluted with water.

Anyway, I wasn't able to find a good recipe so I tried my own method, mostly based off of Keller's 3 gallon recipe. He calls for 2.5 lbs of sugar per gallon, so for a 5 gallon batch I'd need 12.5 lbs of sugar.
I added 10 lbs and thought I could go from there
1.2 OG
Not a typo. One point two original gravity
I guess that's what I get for having homebrews and staying up after midnight working on this ****ing thing.

The only thing that tops that is realizing you were worried all day and made several posts about your mistake, then realizing your hydrometer only goes up to 1.17 and 1.2 is simply impossible . Like an idiot I was probably readint 1.12.
Long week...I need a beer.

 

[Scele]

Drank a commercial lager after a microbrew stout. Yeah, this doesn't taste like anything.

 

[kaconga]

The only thing that tops that is realizing you were worried all day and made several posts about your mistake, then realizing your hydrometer only goes up to 1.17 and 1.2 is simply impossible . Like an idiot I was probably readint 1.12.
Long week...I need a beer.

That is epic. And totally something I would do. Would you mind letting me have the recipe if it works out?