RyanG1
Well-Known Member
How's the clam pie?
Someone just walked up to an old dude at the end of the line and said "it's going to be really close as to whether or not you get bottles"
Godspeed to you TBers enroute on a cannonball run today - getting shut out on a Wednesday early afternoon would be a pretty tough pill to swallow, no matter how nonentitled #oldmoney you might be...
3 bottles....2 bottles...1 bottles....0 bottles
Man, I really hope when we get there it's not at a -1 limit
At least the consolation prize is a **** ton of other really, really good beer available.
Please do math again + boner reference, but now with the limit as 1 pp.See, people just aren't looking at it the right way.
Let's say you bought 3 bottles for $120, and you pre-sold 2 for $150 each. Good on you, you just netted a cool $180 for a ROI of 150%, which you can stroke it to while enjoying the third bottle.
Now, with the limit dropping by 33% to 2 bottles, you are like ****, because you will now only be able to pre-sell 1 bottle, net $70 for a ROI of 87.5%, and since we all know you can't get chub with sub-triple-digit ROI, drink your remaining bottle completely flaccid.
But this is where the chaff is separated from the wheat, and things get interesting.
The enterprising shitlord realizes that there is an opportunity to appeal for more. Now, he makes statements like:
On top of the obligatory "it was a really long day and I got food poisoning from pizza that some guy from Jersey* brought."
- More people got bottles, but most will drink at least one, so the amount of bottles "in the wild" effectively drops from 66% to 50% of the batch... or worse
- The bottle count is dropping as we speak and people drink them
- Shaun Hill reduced the limit from 3 to 2 because this batch of Art is his favorite beer of all time, some say his Magnum Opus, and he wanted to keep a lot more for himself than originally planned
Of course, he makes a similar appeal to both of the people he pre-sold bottles to, knowing full well that there is a weaker of the two, and that they both know he pitched the other similarly. Much like a lion probes to find the weakest antelope, so too it goes with the shitlord.
Invariably, one of the would-be buyers caves, completely aware that it's stupid to offer $250 but generally not giving a **** because a) it's only money and b) Art b4 could be commanding $300 by the time the dust settles at the end of the weekend. Being well-versed in beer equity investment, the shitlord appreciates exactly what this means for his bottom line and accepts the offer: net of $170 for a ROI of 212.5% and just like that, his boner is back.
Meanwhile, the weaker buyer leaves dejected, recognizing he is but a poor man in a rich man's world. All's not lost though, because it's just as likely that from the ashes of despair and tasting group humiliation, a new shitlord is forged, and history repeats...
So the jig is up, all you "I'm still going because I love the beer" people; we know exactly what you're doing.
* - I have no experience with Jersey pizza, just seems to be a common theme around here. No hard feelings.
Edit: despite being complete satire, now I can't help but wonder if someone is going to read the above and flip back to attending after all.
In that case, the jig is up all you "a last-second work meeting got scheduled and so I can't go anymore... oh wait, I just got an email from Ernie, says the meeting is off, you guys still want to head to HF?" people; we know exactly what you're doing.
Sounded to me like there was quite a bit left. Speculation was that it would last until sometime friday but that may change given how crazy it is today. I suspect they will drop limits on it at some point to help make it last.Anyone know the GoM stock? Doubt I'll go up if that sells out too.
How did they announce that it will be a lottery in the future? Just yell it out to all the people in line?
I imagine the neckbeards still in line jimmies fully rustled.Limit on Art dropped to 1. They aren't even positive it will survive the day and will only be available via lotto in the future.
I imagine the neckbeards still in line jimmies fully rustled.
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I'm alright. Can't speak for the ***** in surrounded by. God this has become so dumb.
Finishing my beer. Service keeps cutting out.I'm in line. Where are you homies.
How did they announce that it will be a lottery in the future? Just yell it out to all the people in line?
Some jabronies actually brought their grandmother. Don't worry I took pics so we can ridicule them. And if you're on this board? **** off. I'm not remotely sorry.
I can't believe I missed JulianB trying to big-ups mustard based SC BBQ the other day... if there was any question before, we now 1000000% know he ain't from the US (it was also cute how he refers to it as "pulled pork" - hahaha, SC and much of NC only know that minced crap)
They changed it to 2 last night, The only way anyone has 6 is with 3 friends first thing in the morning.So what you're saying is some people now have 6, and suckers with 2 friends who showed up later now only get 3.
Some jabronies actually brought their grandmother. Don't worry I took pics so we can ridicule them. And if you're on this board? **** off. I'm not remotely sorry.
at least you agree the best BBQ is no sauceEh eh eh I already clarified that I wasn't fronting for mustard-based BBQ. which is what they serve in the Midlands (i.e. Columbia and environs). The bbq in the Pee Dee is much more similar to what you get in the Piedmont and Eastern NC regions than what's popular in the other parts of SC.
My actual BBQ preference is the stuff one of my colleagues at work makes for parties and cookouts - he's got one of those big Carolina Cookers that you pull behind a truck, and cooks the whole pig then we just tear the meat off with tongs. No sauce, no mincing, just some seasoning and juice while it cooks.
I'm in line. Where are you homies.
I bet that tragedy of a trading group on facebook will have some good ones later.Well this has been thoroughly entertaining. Moar ban stories plz
Im right behind you! I cant tell you what Im wearing or what I look like, but it would be really funny if you just turned around and kicked me square in the balls. Trust me, you have my permission!
Some jabronies actually brought their grandmother. Don't worry I took pics so we can ridicule them. And if you're on this board? **** off. I'm not remotely sorry.