Hey parents!

[mbauer013]

Sorry, I have really never encountered this. Maybe because I don't do stupid sh!t in public that need to be explained.

*EDIT* Last week at Bob Evans (sooooooooooo not my choice of restaraunts, but grandparents treat) this old buggar at the next table is like "EFF this and EFF that" (probably a new yorker ) and you better believe I gave him a look when it was apparent that my 10, 7 , and 4 year old were all looking at him. Had he continued, I would have said something to him, but he got the message.

Wanna tell me I was in the wrong? good effing luck.

Completely reasonable if you ask me. I was in Cablea's with my son looking at the giant fish tanks they had there. The place was full of kids including my then 3 year old. In walks four high school students talking loud about tis effing fish and that effing fish, etc. I simply walked over to them ans said," Gentlemen, lets watch the language there are lots of kids around" Thats it. Simple and polite but it got them to notice the kids and the rest of the time they were fine. Most people don't mean to be douches, they just don't recognize the times when they need to have respect for others.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Another example of what I mean is the guy who tries to cut in line and says "I have my kids in the car."

Thats fine if I have a cart full of stuff and you are looking to buy diapers and milk, but if you're trying to cut a whole line of people with a full cart I think using your kids as a crowbar is pretty douchey behavior.

Or the guy that cuts you on the taxi line and thinks its cool because his kids are there. One time I spoke up about it (I tend to grin and bear the small stuff because you never know when you are dealing with a psycho) and this ******** looked at me and literally pointed to his kids.

Again, I'm not trying to tell anyone how to raise their kids, I'm just saying that certain techniques parents use on their kids make my life less pleasant at times.

 

[Homercidal]

The one I hate is the one where they use their kids to get welfare.

 

[cheezydemon3]

Wait. Creamy is a nice guy, and I am starting to understand this wierd thread......

ALL of his examples sound to me like scenes out of a movie....not reality in other words.

I think he is really complaining about NEW YORKERS!!!!!!

In the rest of the country, that sh!t doesn't happen creamy!

 

[bruin_ale]

And I know just what I have to do, send a letter to a newspaper advise columnist or congress to outlaw adulterous mothers BEFORE THEY HAPPEN!

C'mon dude, think about it, its not even a little similar.

The point was that sometimes you have to explain things to your kids that you don't think they are ready for. You said you'd wait til they are older. So when they are 3 and they ask, what do you say? You say, "hhm, how am I supposed to explain this to my kids?"

For example, say I'm watching TV and a viagra commercial comes on. My 3 year old luckily hasn't asked what that is for, but how the hell do you explain that to a 3 year old without getting into a whole host of other topics that a 3 year old isn't ready for?

FWIW, I think we agree about the scenarios you've presented. A naked lady tattoo isn't the end of the world, a nipple slip during the superbowl that I had to replay over and over and go frame by frame to even see isn't a big deal. But there are times when you need to protect your children from things in the world that you feel they aren't ready to learn about.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

You bring up a really good point, but (this isn't rhetorical, I really want to know), if he asks at 3, cant you say "its for grown ups, I will explain when you are older?"

The point was that sometimes you have to explain things to your kids that you don't think they are ready for. You said you'd wait til they are older. So when they are 3 and they ask, what do you say? You say, "hhm, how am I supposed to explain this to my kids?"

For example, say I'm watching TV and a viagra commercial comes on. My 3 year old luckily hasn't asked what that is for, but how the hell do you explain that to a 3 year old without getting into a whole host of other topics that a 3 year old isn't ready for?

FWIW, I think we agree about the scenarios you've presented. A naked lady tattoo isn't the end of the world, a nipple slip during the superbowl that I had to replay over and over and go frame by frame to even see isn't a big deal. But there are times when you need to protect your children from things in the world that you feel they aren't ready to learn about.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Oh C'mon, New York can't have the whole country's jackholes! (Leaves himself wide open on purpose... you are welcome!)

Thanks for calling me a nice guy by the way.

Wait. Creamy is a nice guy, and I am starting to understand this wierd thread......

ALL of his examples sound to me like scenes out of a movie....not reality in other words.

I think he is really complaining about NEW YORKERS!!!!!!

In the rest of the country, that sh!t doesn't happen creamy!

 

[motobrewer]

You bring up a really good point, but (this isn't rhetorical, I really want to know), if he asks at 3, cant you say "its for grown ups, I will explain when you are older?"

creamy swoops in and solves parenting for everybody-

"just tell your kid something, and they will listen unconditionally, and do everything you tell them to do."

what have I been doing all these years....

 

[edmanster]

For example, say I'm watching TV and a viagra commercial comes on. My 3 year old luckily hasn't asked what that is for, but how the hell do you explain that to a 3 year old without getting into a whole host of other topics that a 3 year old isn't ready for?

My 3yr old answer "helps daddy's make mommy's happy"
My 12yr old answer "you know on the weekends when you get to stay up late and you come upstairs and my bedroom door is closed? Helps with that! Nuff said!!"
LoL

 

[Bobby_M]

As a father of three, I'll agree that too many people are pushing the responsibility of sheltering THEIR kids off on everyone else. How do you answer the "how do I?" question? "I don't know, their YOUR kids, YOU figure it out". Since when do kids deserve an explanation for everything anyway? It's probably just an extension of the daycare model. What do you mean I have to pick up the parenting responsibilities when I actually have the kids?

I don't know, maybe I'm invested too far into the Louis C.K. guide to parenting.

 

[edmanster]

I don't know, maybe I'm invested too far into the Louis C.K. guide to parenting.

hoping for another season on fx.. I was sad after only 1 season of lucky louie on hbo..

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Is it just me or was his wife on that show somewhere in the top 5,000 hottest women on the planet?

hoping for another season on fx.. I was sad after only 1 season of lucky louie on hbo..

 

[cheezydemon3]

Is it just me or was his wife on that show somewhere in the top 5,000 hottest women on the planet?

I know that would actually make her hot....but it doesn't really have a ring to it.

A - "Is she hot?" "

B - "She's in the top 5000"

I would take that as a NO.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Yeah, there's so many women in the world just being in the upper 10 Million is a feat.

 

[IrregularPulse]

Now you're just trying too hard. Weak Rant. C-

 

[cheezydemon3]

I think the fact that most people can't fathom "10,000" any more specifically than "A freaking LOT" makes literal top (insert #) meaningless.

Like if she's in the top 4.5 billion she's HOT!!!1 but barely in the top 7.86 billion....not so much.

it all becomes dribble unless you are a population...studier....person...

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I almost altered a George Carlin quote, but I don't want to be driven off with torches and pitchforks.

"My rants are like children; a couple winners, a whooooole lot of losers"

Now you're just trying too hard. Weak Rant. C-

 

[edmanster]

Is it just me or was his wife on that show somewhere in the top 5,000 hottest women on the planet?

No, unless your talking about the wife from lucky louie is also on the newer series of louie..

 

[edmanster]

http://www2.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/Pamela+Adlon+Louis+C+k+HBO+Post+Emmy+Party+QVkWR7Aylo7l.jpg

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Thats her. Maybe I'm just being weird me again, but I find her appearance pleasant.

http://www2.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/Pamela+Adlon+Louis+C+k+HBO+Post+Emmy+Party+QVkWR7Aylo7l.jpg

 

[Bobby_M]

Who would have predicted Dolores Rebchuck from Grease 2 would end up that hot?

 

[cheezydemon3]

If you had said the top 5050, maybe, but the top 5000? get real.

 

[mbauer013]

Oh C'mon, New York can't have the whole country's jackholes! (Leaves himself wide open on purpose... you are welcome!)

Thanks for calling me a nice guy by the way.

I used to work there, they may not have an monopoly on jackholes, but they definately have a huge marketshare! I think it is somthing about never really having to worry about seeing the same person twice in your lifetime that breeds a lack of courtesy. That and no legal handguns. I also lived in Texas, and in that small town you were nice even if you didn't have to be cause you never knew if the other guy was packing heat!

 

[TxBrew]

Dear Creamy,

Have you tried telling them that part of the problem with the world it that they treat their children like incompetent mental patients and that will in no way prepare them for the real world where naked lady tattoos, and naked ladies, will be a big part of their existence?

I would also explain that she to is in fact naked under those clothes, barring some sort of never nude issue, and that if she if uncomfortable with that fact it is more of a statement on her inability to process her real world issues and not that of her children.

Or you could just make fart noises with your mouth and drool.

That usually works for me when I use public transportation.

 

[kgalle]

Wannabe Maddox.

 

[dbhokie]

Which is why all children need to be routinely thrown in mudholes, shoved in the woods, and fight each other.

Bunch of pansies now, gah, no wonder guys don't know how to stick up for themselves anymore. They are all a bunch of PC raised pansies.

I'm gonna start selling kiddie mudholes. Just like a kiddie pool, just add dirt.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

+1000 this. Also, I know I dont have kids and thus yada yada but do you remember people being so terrified of kids and germs?? I grew up in the 80s, we KNEW about germs then, and I dont ever remember someone freaking the freak out because a puppy licked the baby's foot. Some of these kids are going to go outside and step out of their plastic bubbles and their heart is going to pop like a whitehead because they have 0 built up immunity to germs.

I only mention this because every time I have a bad day and watch a cute kid with dog video on youtube some helpy helperton has a fit that the dog's mouth has germs in it. Every time I read these I become a little more sure we will end up like the Romans.

Also, Tx, thank you for creating a site with both "Add Buddy" and "Block User" buttons. Both are so useful!

Dear Creamy,

Have you tried telling them that part of the problem with the world it that they treat their children like incompetent mental patients and that will in no way prepare them for the real world where naked lady tattoos, and naked ladies, will be a big part of their existence?

I would also explain that she to is in fact naked under those clothes, barring some sort of never nude issue, and that if she if uncomfortable with that fact it is more of a statement on her inability to process her real world issues and not that of her children.

Or you could just make fart noises with your mouth and drool.

That usually works for me when I use public transportation.

 

[Zuljin]

and naked ladies, will be a big part of their existence

An inspirational message to the youth.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I hate kids, and I don't care who knows it. OK, I give a free pass to my daughter and grand daughter, but that's only out of a misdirected sense of good manners.
I even dislike thinking about my own youth. I should have been terminated at 3 months. People should stay in the womb until they are at least 26 years old. that would leave the world with quieter restaurants, happier adults, and less disgusting little oiks running all over people's lawns.
Most people that know me would say "Oh! There goes LGI again on a silly rant"....But no, I truly really honestly sincerely hate the little bastards. People always say "But you were a child yourself once!" That is true, and I regret it. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made. I sincerely apologise to the human race for ever having been a child. Actually, I apologise for being an adult too, but that's not the point.

If I ever actually NEED a rubik's cube to be solved for me, then I would understand why kids exist. Until that time, they are just pointless little parasitic blobby things.

I noticed after the OP that the thread had a humour bypass, which then faded away somewhat. I hope I have managed to resurrect that humour bypass.

 

[H-ost]

Awesome thread.... awesome thread

And LGI....

I hate kids, and I don't care who knows it. OK, I give a free pass to my daughter and grand daughter, but that's only out of a misdirected sense of good manners.
I even dislike thinking about my own youth. I should have been terminated at 3 months. People should stay in the womb until they are at least 26 years old. that would leave the world with quieter restaurants, happier adults, and less disgusting little oiks running all over people's lawns.
Most people that know me would say "Oh! There goes LGI again on a silly rant"....But no, I truly really honestly sincerely hate the little bastards. People always say "But you were a child yourself once!" That is true, and I regret it. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made. I sincerely apologise to the human race for ever having been a child. Actually, I apologise for being an adult too, but that's not the point.

If I ever actually NEED a rubik's cube to be solved for me, then I would understand why kids exist. Until that time, they are just pointless little parasitic blobby things.

I noticed after the OP that the thread had a humour bypass, which then faded away somewhat. I hope I have managed to resurrect that humour bypass.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA