Hey parents!

[GilaMinumBeer]

I think I'll wait until they are older for that one.

I thought that too.

They are way too observant and inquisitive at 5 years old.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

And I know just what I have to do, send a letter to a newspaper advise columnist or congress to outlaw adulterous mothers BEFORE THEY HAPPEN!

C'mon dude, think about it, its not even a little similar.

and we've come full circle. congrats, a$$apotomous.

 

[motobrewer]

just make sure to keep the concept of "siblings" away from your kids until you're ready, because "how will you ever explain it to your children??"

oh, wait.....

exactly.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Please dont take the following silence for me bowing to your superior reasoning skills. I just cant type through a facepalm.

 

[motobrewer]

Please dont take the following silence for me bowing to your superior reasoning skills. I just cant type through a facepalm.

tell it again.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

"how will I explain...".
Obnoxious woman just looking for something to bitch about.
I just hate how people get all shook about naked people. I'm not talking pron, just regular human bodies without clothes.
Meanwhile, you can hardly watch network TV without seeing or hearing references about murder, rape, etc. Those things are much more disturbing and harmful to kids. Next time you watch TV, pretend you're 5. Really notice how much violence you see. It's surprising.
And that's my rant.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

As a man who will likely be approaching fatherhood in the next couple years, I am not posting the following because I dislike kids or because I dont know the time and work you are putting into raising your kids. Parenthood is hard, and it should be. You have every bit of respect I have within me.

Some of you, however, are not seeing the forest for the trees, so I have taken it upon myself to fill you in. You can thank me later.

There is one vile, insipid, vomitous phrase, that some of you use. "How am I going to explain to my children...?"

The penalty for the use of this phrase, in a perfect world, would be immediate and severe. "But Creamy?" You are asking "There are very difficult matters I am having trouble explaining to my children and I could use help!"

Ok, first off, stop using the word "children" before I frigging come over there. Notice how you call them "kids" up until you want to want to prove a point? Can the sacred cow rhetoric. Got that bucko?

Secondly, "How am I going to explain to my children that God loves us all but still made the Kardashians?" is not what I mean. That is a very good question. Revvy could probably help you with that one. I mean whenever you see or hear something that offends your delicate sensibilities you retreat to the old standby "How am I going to explain to my children...?"

I'm not even going to get into the political arguments. Some yutz of a parent got her sensible undergarments in a bunch over the airline traveler next to her who had a nude woman as a tattoo on his leg. "How am I going to explain to my children this kind of 'art'?" Really? You are THAT incompetant as a parent? Holy crap! Tell you what, have your kid call me and I will PERSONALLY explain a naked lady to them. Your kid is on the slow track to incarceration, I swear.

What it comes down to is that YOU felt uncomfortable because of a frigging naked lady tattoo. YOU then intoned the sacred words "my children" in order to get your point across. Using your children in such a manner for your own gain is SHAMEFUL, and you should be ashamed.


sigh. It will pass.

George Carlin seems to agree. Just for you Creamy:
WARNING: THIS LINK CONTAINS AUDIO THAT SOME MIGHT FIND OFFENSIVE. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY FRANK LANGUAGE & HUMOUR, KEEP ON SURFING.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/audio/play/704824/
Regards, GF.

 

[IXVolt]

Next time you watch TV, pretend you're 5. Really notice how much violence you see. It's surprising.
And that's my rant.

Too true. This is why my kids don't watch TV. They actually build forts, play games, ride their bikes over sweet jumps and throw pine cones at birds. And yes, I threw the first pine cone.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

We sure have an interesting culture. I remember that I was forbidden as a kid from seeing "The Breakfast Club" but was allowed to watch both Alien movies. This is 6 years old.

"how will I explain...".
Obnoxious woman just looking for something to bitch about.
I just hate how people get all shook about naked people. I'm not talking pron, just regular human bodies without clothes.
Meanwhile, you can hardly watch network TV without seeing or hearing references about murder, rape, etc. Those things are much more disturbing and harmful to kids. Next time you watch TV, pretend you're 5. Really notice how much violence you see. It's surprising.
And that's my rant.

 

[shecky]

As far as rants go, this rates a solid 'meh.' However, I applaud your approach. The childless preaching to those with children is always going to grab attention.

 

[IXVolt]

Back a number of years ago my sister's kids it seemed always had dirty faces and runny noses. I distinctively remember saying to myself, I'll never let my kids look like that.

Come to find out, it's HARD to keep up with those little dirt clods! Looking back on it, I changed my perspective a bit.

 

[passedpawn]

Back a number of years ago my sister's kids it seemed always had dirty faces and runny noses. I distinctively remember saying to myself, I'll never let my kids look like that.

Come to find out, it's HARD to keep up with those little dirt clods! Looking back on it, I changed my perspective a bit.

Right. Wisdom isn't "thinking hard". It's experience.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Back a number of years ago my sister's kids it seemed always had dirty faces and runny noses. I distinctively remember saying to myself, I'll never let my kids look like that.

Come to find out, it's HARD to keep up with those little dirt clods! Looking back on it, I changed my perspective a bit.

Ayup.

We were always the ones who thought to ourselves "Why can't those fvcks control their damned kids so i can eat in peace?"

I can't remember the last time I had a meal in a decent resturant that wasn't already full of kids to blend down the noise my own two make.

 

[mbauer013]

Personally I don't get hung up on the explaining thing, generally it is a case of "Well some people just don't have the same ethics/taste/common decency/sense of self worth/common sense as you" and that is what I tell him. However, my one pet peeve is swearing. Not because my son can't know what s**t or F**k mean, but because he will repeat them. At pre-school. For which I have to get the "you are the worst father ever" speech from the teacher. So next time your going to drop a f-bomb look around and make sure there are no kids around. If you are in a bar I understand but if you are, say, at Disney-freaking-world have some restraint. At times that this does happen I do not have to explain anything to my son, but I will explain to you directly and vigarously that you should have more care about where you are and who is around you when speaking in such a manner. Again, it may just be me, an I know I was guilty when I did not have kids, however I was a jerk in college and fully admit it.

 

[cheezydemon3]

Oh creamy......

If you witnessed someone down 30 miller high lifes, puke all over their self, get a swastika tattooed on their forehead, and then start lamenting that they now have to go to their preschooler's graduation ceremony, all drunk and looking like chuck freaking manson and saying "HOW THE EFF AM I GONNA SPLAIN THIS TO MY children?????????"

Then OK, f()ck the loser.

Short of that WHAT DID YOU WITNESS THAT WAS SO LACKING OF LETGITIMACY?????

 

[subzero829]

Before I opened this and read it I was expecting this to be a rant about the younger generations drunken drinking habits.

Now let me just say this. I am 22 years old, and have no children of my own. With that said I feel parents are way to strict with their kids when it comes to things like TV and Video Games and the such. I mean when I grew up I had no real boundaries. I loved with my mon grandpop and my uncles who were pretty young at the time. My favorite movie was Nightmare on elm street up until I was 7 years old and the only time I can remember my mom saying I couldn't watch something was when American pie came out when I was 8........ Then she gave me it for Christmas a few months later lol. I was never censored from any form of media (aside from porn of course lmao).

But anyway the reason I bring all that up is I am 22 finished college have never been in any trouble my entire life. However I remember the kids who had the crazy over protective parents who wouldn't let their 15 year old kids watch R rated movies even in high school or let them out past 11 at night or had extremely structured lives they were the ones getting arrested for selling drugs in school lol.

Now I know it sounds like I am blaming media, but I am really not. Whether or not you limit your kids access to these type of things, violent video games, horror movies, ect...... Has nothing to do with how your kids turn out. It all has to do with parents explaining to your kids that this is entertainment and that is it.

I feel as though today's parents are lazy and they will do anything to not talk to their kids. And that is the problem above all else.

 

[subzero829]

Sorry about any misspellings. I am typing on a touch screen, and they are not the most reliable of mediums.

 

[CBXBob]

I remember "explaining" to my two young sons that we could not go into that place with the large sign "Live Nude Girls" because they served alcohol, their response "We won't drink!"

 

[SpottedDogBrewing]

Don't worry so much!
Go have a homebrew!!

 

[cheezydemon3]

I loved with my mon

This is all I heard.

 

[IXVolt]

Don't worry so much!
Go have a homebrew!!

Indeed, it could be worse.

Son "Dad what are you drinking?"
SWMBO "A yeast infection"
Me "*Cough*"
Son "Huh?"
Me "Ask your mom"

 

[HawksBrewer]

This is all I heard.

LMAO :cross:

 

[SpottedDogBrewing]

Indeed, it could be worse.

Son "Dad what are you drinking?"
SWMBO "A yeast infection"
Me "*Cough*"
Son "Huh?"
Me "Ask your mom"

Lol!
Reminds me of a similar discussion with the SWMBO and the kids

 

[Zuljin]

I'm with Creamy as far as it goes that being a parent does not grant one the right to dictate the behavior of everyone else because they are a parent.

Now, lets look at this specific issue. Lets say this dude would have tried to board a plane wearing a T-shirt with an image of a fully naked lady on it. Or lets say he would have whipped out a Hustler on the plane. What then?

 

[CreamyGoodness]

For the record, I think I need to make myself more clear. Baring a naked lady tattoo is the wrong thing to do around children. Not because nudity is harmful but because its just kind of ********* behavior.

However, the idea that he made this woman's job as a mother so difficult in explaining why he had the tattoo is absurd. Again, this isnt the best example of the behavior that I dislike so much, but its the only example that isnt politically charged.

 

[IXVolt]

Seriously,
My mom woulda had a hay day with it.

"Son, look at his arm. Excuse me sir... can I borrow your arm a second. See that right there?! This is why you don't get nasty tattoo's of naked women" When you're his age it will look like deflated cow pies. Haha, Boy I'm glad that's not on MY arm!"

 

[subzero829]

This is all I heard.

LoL. Damn touch screen. I butchered that whole sentence.

 

[subzero829]

I remember "explaining" to my two young sons that we could not go into that place with the large sign "Live Nude Girls" because they served alcohol, their response "We won't drink!"

I remember I was 11 years old I accidentally walked into a strip bar when I was selling candy for my school. I used to go in bars because the drunk people in there mid day bought everything. The bar didn't have any signs or anything that said it was a nude bar lol. Didn't know till I walked in.

 

[Hugh_Jass]

Lol. Creamy is a New Yorker. This means he could give up b!tching as easily a he could give up breathing. .


That said, I agree with disliking people who use their children to excuse their own melodramatic behavior.

 

[cheezydemon3]

Lol. Creamy is a New Yorker. This means he could give up b!tching as easily a he could give up breathing. .


That said, I agree with disliking people who use their children to excuse their own melodramatic behavior.

Sorry, I have really never encountered this. Maybe because I don't do stupid sh!t in public that need to be explained.

*EDIT* Last week at Bob Evans (sooooooooooo not my choice of restaraunts, but grandparents treat) this old buggar at the next table is like "EFF this and EFF that" (probably a new yorker ) and you better believe I gave him a look when it was apparent that my 10, 7 , and 4 year old were all looking at him. Had he continued, I would have said something to him, but he got the message.

Wanna tell me I was in the wrong? good effing luck.