Hey parents!

[CreamyGoodness]

As a man who will likely be approaching fatherhood in the next couple years, I am not posting the following because I dislike kids or because I dont know the time and work you are putting into raising your kids. Parenthood is hard, and it should be. You have every bit of respect I have within me.

Some of you, however, are not seeing the forest for the trees, so I have taken it upon myself to fill you in. You can thank me later.

There is one vile, insipid, vomitous phrase, that some of you use. "How am I going to explain to my children...?"

The penalty for the use of this phrase, in a perfect world, would be immediate and severe. "But Creamy?" You are asking "There are very difficult matters I am having trouble explaining to my children and I could use help!"

Ok, first off, stop using the word "children" before I frigging come over there. Notice how you call them "kids" up until you want to want to prove a point? Can the sacred cow rhetoric. Got that bucko?

Secondly, "How am I going to explain to my children that God loves us all but still made the Kardashians?" is not what I mean. That is a very good question. Revvy could probably help you with that one. I mean whenever you see or hear something that offends your delicate sensibilities you retreat to the old standby "How am I going to explain to my children...?"

I'm not even going to get into the political arguments. Some yutz of a parent got her sensible undergarments in a bunch over the airline traveler next to her who had a nude woman as a tattoo on his leg. "How am I going to explain to my children this kind of 'art'?" Really? You are THAT incompetant as a parent? Holy crap! Tell you what, have your kid call me and I will PERSONALLY explain a naked lady to them. Your kid is on the slow track to incarceration, I swear.

What it comes down to is that YOU felt uncomfortable because of a frigging naked lady tattoo. YOU then intoned the sacred words "my children" in order to get your point across. Using your children in such a manner for your own gain is SHAMEFUL, and you should be ashamed.


sigh. It will pass.

 

[motobrewer]

shut up.

 

[IXVolt]

How am I going to explain this thread to my kids.

 

[dbhokie]

Id' say you should rewrite it after you are a man who has been in fatherhood for a few years.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

"Well Susie, Bobby, that man has too much time on his hands at work and reads a lot of really stupid things that other people say. That makes him grumpy. Let me know if you see any little bubbles coming out of his mouth, ok?"

How am I going to explain this thread to my kids.

 

[worksnorth]

Id' say you should rewrite it after you are a man who has been in fatherhood for a few years.

Well put

 

[Darwin18]

"Well Susie, Bobby, that man has too much time on his hands at work and reads a lot of really stupid things that other people say. That makes him grumpy. Let me know if you see any little bubbles coming out of his mouth, ok?"

Wait until you have kids, then you won't have time to read things and then be grumpy about it.

 

[Homercidal]

They have lasers to take that tattoo right off.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

So I'm told. That actually sounds like an argument FOR having kids.

Wait until you have kids, then you won't have time to read things and then be grumpy about it.

 

[IXVolt]

They have lasers to take that tattoo right off.

Attached to sharks

 

[BeerDoctor5]

1.) RDWHAHB
2.) Why do you care? Do you have a naked lady tatoo on your leg?
3.) As a parent of two I have never thought about how I am going to explain anything to my kids. Didn't realize it was such a large scale problem.
4.) Bad day? If so, sorry to hear it...

 

[dbhokie]

Attached to sharks

I want one.

 

[monkeymootj]

As a man who will likely be approaching fatherhood in the next couple years, I am not posting the following because I dislike kids or because I dont know the time and work you are putting into raising your kids. Parenthood is hard, and it should be. You have every bit of respect I have within me.

Some of you, however, are not seeing the forest for the trees, so I have taken it upon myself to fill you in. You can thank me later.

There is one vile, insipid, vomitous phrase, that some of you use. "How am I going to explain to my children...?"

The penalty for the use of this phrase, in a perfect world, would be immediate and severe. "But Creamy?" You are asking "There are very difficult matters I am having trouble explaining to my children and I could use help!"

Ok, first off, stop using the word "children" before I frigging come over there. Notice how you call them "kids" up until you want to want to prove a point? Can the sacred cow rhetoric. Got that bucko?

Secondly, "How am I going to explain to my children that God loves us all but still made the Kardashians?" is not what I mean. That is a very good question. Revvy could probably help you with that one. I mean whenever you see or hear something that offends your delicate sensibilities you retreat to the old standby "How am I going to explain to my children...?"

I'm not even going to get into the political arguments. Some yutz of a parent got her sensible undergarments in a bunch over the airline traveler next to her who had a nude woman as a tattoo on his leg. "How am I going to explain to my children this kind of 'art'?" Really? You are THAT incompetant as a parent? Holy crap! Tell you what, have your kid call me and I will PERSONALLY explain a naked lady to them. Your kid is on the slow track to incarceration, I swear.

What it comes down to is that YOU felt uncomfortable because of a frigging naked lady tattoo. YOU then intoned the sacred words "my children" in order to get your point across. Using your children in such a manner for your own gain is SHAMEFUL, and you should be ashamed.

sigh. It will pass.

So, from someone who doesn't have kids, you feel that parents don't have any discretion when it comes to decency for their children? Have you watched the news lately? Just raising them at home is challenging enough. All the negative outside influences only make it harder. Children are like sponges, and yes, they have to have things explained to them. THEY ARE CHILDREN! A hard reality you will gladly find out in due time

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Yeah its been a rough couple actually, thanks. I have a beer tasting event after work though that I am really looking forward to.

When I rant I try to make people laugh while blowing off some steam. Hopefully at this point people who dont like them know when they are coming just skip them.

I'm tattooless, actually, but I think its the most absurd example of how people are using their kids to get some change they want. Its really super common, and it goes back decades. The parents on "Father Knows Best" slept in seperate beds because some letter writers asked "how are we going to explain..."

 

[passedpawn]

32 years old and that?

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Oh I agree completely. Whether or not we think something such as a naked lady tattoo is harmful for our kids to see is immaterial (personally I dont think a pair of cartoon breasts has harmed anyone of any age, but someone else might). My point is that its not that guy's problem that she is going to have to explain a tattoo to her kids. Maybe he could have worn long pants, but isnt she going to have to explain things to her kids anyway if she's doing her job right?

So, from someone who doesn't have kids, you feel that parents don't have any discretion when it comes to decency for their children? Have you watched the news lately? Just raising them at home is challenging enough. All the negative outside influences only make it harder. Children are like sponges, and yes, they have to have things explained to them. THEY ARE CHILDREN! A hard reality you will gladly find out in due time

 

[edmanster]

Sounds like she was trying to make it something more than what it was and literally pointing it out when most wouldn't even notice or care so yup, it was about her playing the "what do I tell my children" card and truly nothing to do with the kids..LoL... My "kids" have herd and seen alot!! My method is that I will explain when and if they ask about anything.. I dont explain something without a question and if they dont ask me they got plenty to choose from and if they bottle it up it will blow eventually. I'm good at indulging information but not volunteering it...

Edit: forgot to say how I explain . Kids are smart and know right from wrong, good and evil, smart and stupid, lucky and unlucky. Depending on age I give it too them straight up and not beat around the bush but in a way they understand!!

 

[wildwest450]

I believe my signature covers the topic nicely.

_

 

[cadarnell]

well for me, as a parent, so far (13,10,6) ... i think one of the best perks is I get to explain things to them the way i want ... i get to sort of frame situations the best way i think, depending on that particular kid ... i'm honestly not sure if i've ever uttered the words 'how will i explain this to my kids' ... if i have to ask that, then i think my kids are in trouble ... just my 2 cents ... HAVE A BEER !!!

 

[CreamyGoodness]

This was PRECISELY my point! Thank you for posting.

You buyin'?

well for me, as a parent, so far (13,10,6) ... i think one of the best perks is I get to explain things to them the way i want ... i get to sort of frame situations the best way i think, depending on that particular kid ... i'm honestly not sure if i've ever uttered the words 'how will i explain this to my kids' ... if i have to ask that, then i think my kids are in trouble ... just my 2 cents ... HAVE A BEER !!!

 

[cadarnell]

This was PRECISELY my point! Thank you for posting.

You buyin'?

i have 3 kids and no money .. thats one of the reasons i like to brew ... drinking high end stuff is cheap .. cheers !!

 

[edmanster]

'how will i explain this to my kids' ... if i have to ask that, then i think my kids are in trouble ... just my 2 cents ... HAVE A BEER !!!

Thats perfect!!

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I chose this particular example because 1) I just read it and 2) because it was the least political one I could think of.

It just seems so absurd that not only does this woman think her kid can be traumatized by a tattoo of ****s (I guess the poor little guy is going to have to wait until he's 21 to see the Sistene Chapel), but that she is going to have to wring her hands and soldier through the horrible process of telling little Johnny that that is what women look like when they arent wearing clothes.

I know fatherhood is going to deal me some full on double-leg takedowns, but I think I can handle THAT.

 

[Homercidal]

She can do what my mom did for me. Nothing.

Leave it up to the old man and his stash of mags...

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

As a man who will likely be approaching fatherhood in the next couple years, I am not posting the following because I dislike kids or because I dont know the time and work you are putting into raising your kids. Parenthood is hard, and it should be. You have every bit of respect I have within me.

Some of you, however, are not seeing the forest for the trees, so I have taken it upon myself to fill you in. You can thank me later.

There is one vile, insipid, vomitous phrase, that some of you use. "How am I going to explain to my children...?"

The penalty for the use of this phrase, in a perfect world, would be immediate and severe. "But Creamy?" You are asking "There are very difficult matters I am having trouble explaining to my children and I could use help!"

Ok, first off, stop using the word "children" before I frigging come over there. Notice how you call them "kids" up until you want to want to prove a point? Can the sacred cow rhetoric. Got that bucko?

Secondly, "How am I going to explain to my children that God loves us all but still made the Kardashians?" is not what I mean. That is a very good question. Revvy could probably help you with that one. I mean whenever you see or hear something that offends your delicate sensibilities you retreat to the old standby "How am I going to explain to my children...?"

I'm not even going to get into the political arguments. Some yutz of a parent got her sensible undergarments in a bunch over the airline traveler next to her who had a nude woman as a tattoo on his leg. "How am I going to explain to my children this kind of 'art'?" Really? You are THAT incompetant as a parent? Holy crap! Tell you what, have your kid call me and I will PERSONALLY explain a naked lady to them. Your kid is on the slow track to incarceration, I swear.

What it comes down to is that YOU felt uncomfortable because of a frigging naked lady tattoo. YOU then intoned the sacred words "my children" in order to get your point across. Using your children in such a manner for your own gain is SHAMEFUL, and you should be ashamed.


sigh. It will pass.

My kids would prolly make an inappropriate **** comparison bewteen my wife and the tattoo.

So, Creamy, how am I going to explain it to my wife that maybe it's time she practice a little more vanity?

Sincerely, - Seeing Double

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

I chose this particular example because 1) I just read it and 2) because it was the least political one I could think of.

It just seems so absurd that not only does this woman think her kid can be traumatized by a tattoo of ****s (I guess the poor little guy is going to have to wait until he's 21 to see the Sistene Chapel), but that she is going to have to wring her hands and soldier through the horrible process of telling little Johnny that that is what women look like when they arent wearing clothes.

I know fatherhood is going to deal me some full on double-leg takedowns, but I think I can handle THAT.

The hardest thing I have had to deal with in fatherhood yet is explaining how it is that his grandfather is still alive, yet he has never met him.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I take it you and your dad had a falling out? I'm not getting in your business, but you did volunteer.

The hardest thing I have had to deal with in fatherhood yet is explaining how it is that his grandfather is still alive, yet he has never met him.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

I take it you and your dad had a falling out? I'm not getting in your business, but you did volunteer.

Nope. Not at all.

He simply divorced mom, moved, and gradually faded into memory.

Not for lack of trying. Doesn't bother me at all really. Cept' the boy keeps asking. It's sad really.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

That's rough. I think explaining to my future kids why Daddy has a brother and sister he has never met should be fun one. I think I'll wait until they are older for that one.

Nope. Not at all.

He simply divorced mom, moved, and gradually faded into memory.

Not for lack of trying. Doesn't bother me at all really. Cept' the boy keeps asking. It's sad really.

 

[motobrewer]

I think I'll wait until they are older for that one.

and we've come full circle. congrats, a$$apotomous.