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Evan!

Evan!

Well-Known Member
Joined
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Messages
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Charlottesville, VA
So a certain someone sent me this via email this morning and thought that, since I'm apparently the resident "threads that are meant to be humorous but devolve into serious debates after 2 or 3 pages" poster around here, I'd be better off posting it.

07jul16-honesty-for-patriotic-stupids.jpg


First off, this is funny because that person drives the king of all humongous SUV's. Second, [rant warning] I happen to not agree with the "war for oil" part; that's just an excuse for whiny hippies who want easy answers. If anything, this is a war for the military-industrial complex. After the cold war, there weren't quite as many ways for Halliburton, KBR, Boeing, etc., to score billion dollar military contracts, so now that we have a new bogeyman, those guys can finally get that third solid-gold yacht that they've been wanting to buy.

Anyway, I f*ckin hate all the stupid ribbon magnets, so I made my own. You can buy it here.

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I also made this one, which I think is very poignant in this day and age:

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You caught me, I do, in fact, drive the mother of all SUV's (a Ford Excursion). But I'll be getting rid of that thing soon enough.

This topic instantly becomes more interesting if you're the OP instead of me. :D
 
TheJadedDog said:
There is a real one out there somewhere (I've seen it twice) that is small and green and says "support magnetic ribbons". I think that's my favorite.
Click to expand...

Oh man that's great. They should have something that says "support personal belief-based flare that are inevitably passing fads"...:D
 
ohiobrewtus said:
This topic instantly becomes more interesting if you're the OP instead of me. :D
Click to expand...

DING DING!

I think those are hilarious. I have actually seen a homemade camo ribbon which says 'Body Armor'. It was on one of those huge old International Scouts.
 
"Empty Gesture" does sum it up pretty well. Even so, I decided long ago that I would never force my beliefs on my own car. Why should my car have to take guff for my beliefs? ;)
 
I saw a ribbon the other day that said "I support ******(female parts), drugs and rock n roll"
 
The thing that bugs me about those ribbons is that they rarely leave enough room for a response other than "OK". Many a time when I've been wandering around the parking lot at walmart with my sharpie pen, looking for ribbons to respond to I have noticed that there is never any room to continue a civilised dialogue. It's almost as if rather than expecting a reply, they are just trying to TELL me to do something!

Is it considered bad etiquette to use the area of the car immediately underneath the ribbon to respond properly?
 
OhioBrit said:
The thing that bugs me about those ribbons is that they rarely leave enough room for a response other than "OK". Many a time when I've been wandering around the parking lot at walmart with my sharpie pen, looking for ribbons to respond to I have noticed that there is never any room to continue a civilised dialogue. It's almost as if rather than expecting a reply, they are just trying to TELL me to do something!

Is it considered bad etiquette to use the area of the car immediately underneath the ribbon to respond properly?
Click to expand...

Dude, do you know how pimp that would be if you ran up on some *********'s SUV and underneath their "support our troops" ribbon, you wrote, in sharpie: "Thank you for the kind suggestion. In actuality, however, I support adequately funding the troops while they're in the field, but I do not support the rationale for their presence there in the first place. I despise the lies and the misinformation that was dropped on us from the ivory tower, and I despise how my fellow Americans just ate it up without question. Now we are mired in a hideous war against an invisible foe, and our economy is crumbling out from under us while we spend 2 billion dollars a week just to try to keep some sandpit from devolving into complete chaos. Meanwhile, you show your support by placing a magnet on your SUV. Bravo, well done! I know that your level of discourse on this subject rarely gets more complex than the chorus of a Toby Keith diddy, but I wanted to have the chance to respond to your suggestion that I "support the troops". Thank you for taking the time to read it! Good day."

:rockin:
 
Evan! said:
Dude, do you know how pimp that would be if you ran up on some *********'s SUV and underneath their "support our troops" ribbon, you wrote, in sharpie: "Thank you for the kind suggestion. In actually, however, I support adequately funding the troops while they're in the field, but I do not support the rationale for their presence there in the first place. I despise the lies and the misinformation that was dropped on us from the ivory tower, and I despise how my fellow Americans just ate it up without question. Now we are mired in a hideous war against an invisible foe, and our economy is crumbling out from under us while we spend 2 billion dollars a week just to try to keep some sandpit from devolving into complete chaos. Meanwhile, you show your support by placing a magnet on your SUV. Bravo, well done! I know that your level of discourse on this subject rarely gets more complex than the chorus of a Toby Keith diddy, but I wanted to have the chance to respond to your suggestion that I "support the troops". Thank you for taking the time to read it! Good day."

:rockin:
Click to expand...


Oh yeah, yeah I do! In fact I've thought about little else since that last post.
Right this moment I'm fighting an overwhelming urge to grab a sharpie and go to Walmart. :D
 
Evan! said:
"Thank you for the kind suggestion. In actually, however, I support adequately funding the troops while they're in the field, but I do not support the rationale for their presence there in the first place. I despise the lies and the misinformation that was dropped on us from the ivory tower, and I despise how my fellow Americans just ate it up without question. Now we are mired in a hideous war against an invisible foe, and our economy is crumbling out from under us while we spend 2 billion dollars a week just to try to keep some sandpit from devolving into complete chaos. Meanwhile, you show your support by placing a magnet on your SUV. Bravo, well done! I know that your level of discourse on this subject rarely gets more complex than the chorus of a Toby Keith diddy, but I wanted to have the chance to respond to your suggestion that I "support the troops". Thank you for taking the time to read it! Good day."

:rockin:
Click to expand...

applause.gif
 
Evan! - you are now my Qui-Gon Jinn of verbal bitchslaps.

Very well said indeed. I shall construct my own Sharpie pen and use it for the good of the Force!

Bob
 
IMO, the reason behind the whole "support our troops" campaign from 1990 through the present can be summed up in one word... Vietnam.
 
TheJadedDog said:
There is a real one out there somewhere (I've seen it twice) that is small and green and says "support magnetic ribbons". I think that's my favorite.
Click to expand...

I saw one somewhere that was something like:

'support the kids in china that make these ribbon magnet things'

Hooray for snarky humor.
 
OhioBrit said:
Anyone out there trying to convert tailgaters with a magnetic christian fish? I have a machine gun mounted on my hood. :)
Click to expand...

Until recently, I had an "Evolve" fish on each of my cars, but the summer heat melted the glue and they fell off. It appears glue hasn't evolved much.

E-Evolve.gif


Once, I caught an angry Christian in a parking lot, trying to peel the fish off my Blazer. When he saw me walking briskly towards him, he turned and ran. I turned the other cheek and forgave him. ;)
 
You know, I have no problem witht eh ribbon magnets if they really belive in what the magnet says. Most of the people here that have the magnets are anti military hippie type who would just as soon call us baby killers when we got back. So one of these new magnets word be a great choice around here.
Just remember, supporting immediate withdrawl of troops from theater does not mean you support the troops.
 
BlindLemonLars said:
Until recently, I had an "Evolve" fish on each of my cars, but the summer heat melted the glue and they fell off. It appears glue hasn't evolved much.

E-Evolve.gif


Once, I caught an angry Christian in a parking lot, trying to peel the fish off my Blazer. When he saw me walking briskly towards him, he turned and ran. I turned the other cheek and forgave him. ;)
Click to expand...


Oh! Oh!!! I want one of those!!!!! A little less runny than yours, but I want one!!
 
Evan! said:
Dude, do you know how pimp that would be if you ran up on some *********'s SUV and underneath their "support our troops" ribbon, you wrote, in sharpie: "Thank you for the kind suggestion. In actuality, however, I support adequately funding the troops while they're in the field, but I do not support the rationale for their presence there in the first place. I despise the lies and the misinformation that was dropped on us from the ivory tower, and I despise how my fellow Americans just ate it up without question. Now we are mired in a hideous war against an invisible foe, and our economy is crumbling out from under us while we spend 2 billion dollars a week just to try to keep some sandpit from devolving into complete chaos. Meanwhile, you show your support by placing a magnet on your SUV. Bravo, well done! I know that your level of discourse on this subject rarely gets more complex than the chorus of a Toby Keith diddy, but I wanted to have the chance to respond to your suggestion that I "support the troops". Thank you for taking the time to read it! Good day."

:rockin:
Click to expand...

Why use a sharpie? That will just fade or get rubbed off.... I suggest a cordless Dremel, or for the mechanically challenged, an ice pick..:rockin:

Seriously though, everyone should take Evan's rant and have stickers made, so you can whack it onto every car with the stupid ribbons on them.
 
BobNQ3X said:
Evan! - you are now my Qui-Gon Jinn of verbal bitchslaps.

Very well said indeed. I shall construct my own Sharpie pen and use it for the good of the Force!

Bob
Click to expand...


sharpiesaber.jpg

I just made you a sharpie to use in the good of the force

*edit* god that looks like a penis
 
Soulive said:
Oh man that's great. They should have something that says "support personal belief-based flare that are inevitably passing fads"...:D
Click to expand...

You do not have enough flare to express your personality... No I'm not telling you to wear more flare, just if you want to express yourself you need to wear more flare.


Office Space FTW!
 
menschmaschine said:
How can that be??? You're British!
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My father in law is British and is a total diarrhea mouth. No filter, he just blabs whatever is a the front of his brain. Truly idiotic stuff. But he rarely gets called out because of his cultured British accent. It's like a Jedi mind trick for many Americans, I guess.
 
GunnerMan said:
Most of the people here that have the magnets are anti military hippie type who would just as soon call us baby killers when we got back. So one of these new magnets word be a great choice around here.
Just remember, supporting immediate withdrawl of troops from theater does not mean you support the troops.
Click to expand...

Nobody I have ever met is anti-military. Most of the people I know who oppose the war are very thankful and proud that our troops sacrifice their health/well-being/sanity to do their job. Everyone I know who is anti-war is just that. Anti-war is not the same as anti-military.

Nobody with half a brain supports an immediate pull out of all the troops either. That would be heaping disaster on top of disaster. A careful removal of forces is what the most liberal among the politicians is recommending.

The root cause of the problem is not that "they hate our freedoms". OBL has stated several times that the hatred stems from what he sees as occupation by infidels (non-muslims) of holy lands. We had troops in Saudi Arabia, which he considered an affront, and attacked. The "hate our freedom" was manufactured by our ignorant politicians.
 

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